Anyone else have to be very restrictive to stay thin?

[Anonymous]

I don’t have to very restrictive necessarily, but I have to be constantly conscious and aware of intake. It’s annoying but it’s always been this way except for when I was in my twenties and smoking/running around all day at college and waiting tables.

I am a little under 5’ 2” and try to stay at around 114-115. I consistently creep up a few pounds and have to diet back down, and the creep is more consistent since turning 36 but I think that has more to do with the fact that I quit drinking wine on a daily basis and now struggle with eating too much sugar.

I always work out so that isn’t an issue...I have been running and weight training consistently for years. But I stress eat and will go overboard on sugar for a period of time and gain weight. At 120 I am in a whole different pant size so it’s not just vanity...but sure, plenty of it is vanity.

I realize I could easily stay around 119-120 and the world would not end. But it’s all a choice. I could have chosen not to lose weight after my second kid was born and I would still be 130. For me, I would rather be smaller. We will see if I change my tune in another decade though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. I am naturally very thin (5'4", fluctuate naturally between 110 and 115). I don't diet or restrict. I am active in that I walk most places and go running a couple times a week, but otherwise I don't work out. This is just what my body is like. I also have small boobs and a flat butt. I think it is best to accept your body for what it is and aim for balanced good health. I think most women who work really hard to get down to my weight, when it is clear that their bodies would be more comfortable at a higher weight, don't look better than they would be at a higher weight. Some clothes fit better, but others don't (this is true for everyone -- I look good in some clothes and terrible in others and always have and always will).

I am tired of spending time with female friends who are always dieting and restricting, who act like weighing less is some great accomplishment or gift, who complain about their weight constantly even though they are not overweight or unhealthy, or who assume I am judging them for their weight (I'm not). Being thin is not the same as being pretty, or sexy. It's just thin. Why is this such a goal of so many women? I have been thin my entire life and it's not that great! Yes, some people admire my body (but often in unkind ways -- it's not fun to be told "I hate you for being so thin" especially when it's not even something you picked for yourself), but many people still criticize it, both men and women. I have been told I'm "too" thin, that I look like I don't eat enough, been made fun of for being flat chested, told I'm not a "real woman" because I don't have curves. I've had women in my life who told me they could not be friends with me because my weight was triggering for them.

Do what you want with your body but I really cannot emphasize this enough: however much you think you look better at a weight that you have to seriously restrict your food to reach, no one else cares. Obviously if it's worth it to you, that's your choice. But if you are doing it for other people, you are wasting your energy. Your husband doesn't even care. Your friends definitely don't. Even those mean ladies you think judge you for not being thin? They'll just judge you for losing weight because they are mean, vindictive people who are looking for reasons to hate.

Anyway, back to your regularly scheduled programming.

I'm 5'1", and losing 15 lbs to drop from a size 6 to a 0/2, people are nicer to me everywhere. I get treated like I'm more competent professionally by men and women. Men smile at me on the street (not now, obviously, but pre-covid.) My husband tells me how hot I look regularly. At the gym, hair salon (again, pre-covid), people are just friendlier. But the big differences are professionally and with my husband. I'm sure other people have different experiences, but if you've always been thin, you really don't know whether it would be different if you weren't. The qualities many people associate with fatness are not positive, and weight discrimination is a real thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At 40, my weight reset 10 pounds heavier, but once I just let that happen, I'm back to being the same as I was in my 20s -- I can eat whatever I want, and I'll stay at the same weight.

Why do you want to stay at 140?

+1. I figure if I can once again eat whatever I want, but stay at the same weight, it must be because my body wants to be at this new weight. Of course I also exercise and make healthy choices generally -- it's how I'm able to stay at the same weight while eating whatever I want.

+2 and research supports this. It is absolutely normal for your body to change over time. and our bodies have a bit of a "set point" that shifts over time. If you continue to try to force being lower than your "set point" your body will fight it. It is so so much easier and more enjoyable for me now that I am not so focused on a specific number.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. I am naturally very thin (5'4", fluctuate naturally between 110 and 115). I don't diet or restrict. I am active in that I walk most places and go running a couple times a week, but otherwise I don't work out. This is just what my body is like. I also have small boobs and a flat butt. I think it is best to accept your body for what it is and aim for balanced good health. I think most women who work really hard to get down to my weight, when it is clear that their bodies would be more comfortable at a higher weight, don't look better than they would be at a higher weight. Some clothes fit better, but others don't (this is true for everyone -- I look good in some clothes and terrible in others and always have and always will).

I am tired of spending time with female friends who are always dieting and restricting, who act like weighing less is some great accomplishment or gift, who complain about their weight constantly even though they are not overweight or unhealthy, or who assume I am judging them for their weight (I'm not). Being thin is not the same as being pretty, or sexy. It's just thin. Why is this such a goal of so many women? I have been thin my entire life and it's not that great! Yes, some people admire my body (but often in unkind ways -- it's not fun to be told "I hate you for being so thin" especially when it's not even something you picked for yourself), but many people still criticize it, both men and women. I have been told I'm "too" thin, that I look like I don't eat enough, been made fun of for being flat chested, told I'm not a "real woman" because I don't have curves. I've had women in my life who told me they could not be friends with me because my weight was triggering for them.

Do what you want with your body but I really cannot emphasize this enough: however much you think you look better at a weight that you have to seriously restrict your food to reach, no one else cares. Obviously if it's worth it to you, that's your choice. But if you are doing it for other people, you are wasting your energy. Your husband doesn't even care. Your friends definitely don't. Even those mean ladies you think judge you for not being thin? They'll just judge you for losing weight because they are mean, vindictive people who are looking for reasons to hate.

Anyway, back to your regularly scheduled programming.

I'm 5'1", and losing 15 lbs to drop from a size 6 to a 0/2, people are nicer to me everywhere. I get treated like I'm more competent professionally by men and women. Men smile at me on the street (not now, obviously, but pre-covid.) My husband tells me how hot I look regularly. At the gym, hair salon (again, pre-covid), people are just friendlier. But the big differences are professionally and with my husband. I'm sure other people have different experiences, but if you've always been thin, you really don't know whether it would be different if you weren't. The qualities many people associate with fatness are not positive, and weight discrimination is a real thing.

A size 6 is not fat. Weight discrimination is real, but you have never experienced it even at your heaviest weight if that was a size 6. Maybe you have encountered men who preferred you at a skinnier weight or preferred skinnier women. That's probably sexism on some level, but it's not weight discrimination. It drives me crazy when average-weight women talk about weight discrimination (again, a real thing) to justify why they want to be a size 0. A size 0! Even at 5'1", that is very, very small.

A lot of what you describe is subjective perception and may not really be happening. Being thinner may just make you feel happier and more confident, which makes you perceive others as nicer or more deferential. They also may be complimenting your because you seem happier.

It would be different if you were visibly overweight. Studies definitely show that people who are fat are treated worse across the board -- in customer service, at work, by doctors, etc. It's a real issue. But what you are are referring to as weight discrimination is like when white people with Greek or Italian heritage claim to be victims of racism in the US. Just, no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lol, yes obviously.

But I'm 5'6" and feel I look best around 120-125 so I set the bar pretty high for myself. That's a very muscular 120, I use my Peloton daily, yoga several times a week, Tonal several times a week and I'm getting a stripper pole installed in my home gym for pole work.

125 is really low for 5'6". I feel like my baseline, easy to maintain weight has moved up in the past 10 years. I can work to bring it down but it is harder than it was before.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. I am naturally very thin (5'4", fluctuate naturally between 110 and 115). I don't diet or restrict. I am active in that I walk most places and go running a couple times a week, but otherwise I don't work out. This is just what my body is like. I also have small boobs and a flat butt. I think it is best to accept your body for what it is and aim for balanced good health. I think most women who work really hard to get down to my weight, when it is clear that their bodies would be more comfortable at a higher weight, don't look better than they would be at a higher weight. Some clothes fit better, but others don't (this is true for everyone -- I look good in some clothes and terrible in others and always have and always will).

I am tired of spending time with female friends who are always dieting and restricting, who act like weighing less is some great accomplishment or gift, who complain about their weight constantly even though they are not overweight or unhealthy, or who assume I am judging them for their weight (I'm not). Being thin is not the same as being pretty, or sexy. It's just thin. Why is this such a goal of so many women? I have been thin my entire life and it's not that great! Yes, some people admire my body (but often in unkind ways -- it's not fun to be told "I hate you for being so thin" especially when it's not even something you picked for yourself), but many people still criticize it, both men and women. I have been told I'm "too" thin, that I look like I don't eat enough, been made fun of for being flat chested, told I'm not a "real woman" because I don't have curves. I've had women in my life who told me they could not be friends with me because my weight was triggering for them.

Do what you want with your body but I really cannot emphasize this enough: however much you think you look better at a weight that you have to seriously restrict your food to reach, no one else cares. Obviously if it's worth it to you, that's your choice. But if you are doing it for other people, you are wasting your energy. Your husband doesn't even care. Your friends definitely don't. Even those mean ladies you think judge you for not being thin? They'll just judge you for losing weight because they are mean, vindictive people who are looking for reasons to hate.

Anyway, back to your regularly scheduled programming.

I'm 5'1", and losing 15 lbs to drop from a size 6 to a 0/2, people are nicer to me everywhere. I get treated like I'm more competent professionally by men and women. Men smile at me on the street (not now, obviously, but pre-covid.) My husband tells me how hot I look regularly. At the gym, hair salon (again, pre-covid), people are just friendlier. But the big differences are professionally and with my husband. I'm sure other people have different experiences, but if you've always been thin, you really don't know whether it would be different if you weren't. The qualities many people associate with fatness are not positive, and weight discrimination is a real thing.

A size 6 is not fat. Weight discrimination is real, but you have never experienced it even at your heaviest weight if that was a size 6. Maybe you have encountered men who preferred you at a skinnier weight or preferred skinnier women. That's probably sexism on some level, but it's not weight discrimination. It drives me crazy when average-weight women talk about weight discrimination (again, a real thing) to justify why they want to be a size 0. A size 0! Even at 5'1", that is very, very small.

A lot of what you describe is subjective perception and may not really be happening. Being thinner may just make you feel happier and more confident, which makes you perceive others as nicer or more deferential. They also may be complimenting your because you seem happier.

It would be different if you were visibly overweight. Studies definitely show that people who are fat are treated worse across the board -- in customer service, at work, by doctors, etc. It's a real issue. But what you are are referring to as weight discrimination is like when white people with Greek or Italian heritage claim to be victims of racism in the US. Just, no.

I was the biggest woman on my team for two separate work teams. No, this was not just my perception - in certain industries, that's not atypical. It was the women as much as the men who were rude to me. I am not making this up. Obviously it would have been worse if I were bigger. But 'average' is totally relative to who you are around, and average sometimes is small.

I'm not "justifying" to you or anyone my current size. I like how I look and feel and get treated, but also no one has to justify their body to anyone else. You think I'm really small? Cool, have at it, enjoy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Im 37. 5'5" and 125. I do have to be very restrictive. at 135, I can eat whatever I want. The body definitely has its comfortable spot. I think I will enjoy being thin another 10 yrs, then hang it up and give it to 135.

Life's too short. No one cares or notices if you are 125 or 135.

[Anonymous]

Around 41/42 it was harder for me to stay where I normally was (I don't diet, but do exercise regularly) then realized my new weight was about 5 lbs more and stayed there steadily. So weird that seems to happen to many on here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Im 37. 5'5" and 125. I do have to be very restrictive. at 135, I can eat whatever I want. The body definitely has its comfortable spot. I think I will enjoy being thin another 10 yrs, then hang it up and give it to 135.

Life's too short. No one cares or notices if you are 125 or 135.

This, especially past 40. What you may not realize, PP, is that you're about to become invisible to most people regardless of your weight. Why not enjoy life rather than dieting to impress people who really, really don't care?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. I am naturally very thin (5'4", fluctuate naturally between 110 and 115). I don't diet or restrict. I am active in that I walk most places and go running a couple times a week, but otherwise I don't work out. This is just what my body is like. I also have small boobs and a flat butt. I think it is best to accept your body for what it is and aim for balanced good health. I think most women who work really hard to get down to my weight, when it is clear that their bodies would be more comfortable at a higher weight, don't look better than they would be at a higher weight. Some clothes fit better, but others don't (this is true for everyone -- I look good in some clothes and terrible in others and always have and always will).

I am tired of spending time with female friends who are always dieting and restricting, who act like weighing less is some great accomplishment or gift, who complain about their weight constantly even though they are not overweight or unhealthy, or who assume I am judging them for their weight (I'm not). Being thin is not the same as being pretty, or sexy. It's just thin. Why is this such a goal of so many women? I have been thin my entire life and it's not that great! Yes, some people admire my body (but often in unkind ways -- it's not fun to be told "I hate you for being so thin" especially when it's not even something you picked for yourself), but many people still criticize it, both men and women. I have been told I'm "too" thin, that I look like I don't eat enough, been made fun of for being flat chested, told I'm not a "real woman" because I don't have curves. I've had women in my life who told me they could not be friends with me because my weight was triggering for them.

Do what you want with your body but I really cannot emphasize this enough: however much you think you look better at a weight that you have to seriously restrict your food to reach, no one else cares. Obviously if it's worth it to you, that's your choice. But if you are doing it for other people, you are wasting your energy. Your husband doesn't even care. Your friends definitely don't. Even those mean ladies you think judge you for not being thin? They'll just judge you for losing weight because they are mean, vindictive people who are looking for reasons to hate.

Anyway, back to your regularly scheduled programming.

I'm 5'1", and losing 15 lbs to drop from a size 6 to a 0/2, people are nicer to me everywhere. I get treated like I'm more competent professionally by men and women. Men smile at me on the street (not now, obviously, but pre-covid.) My husband tells me how hot I look regularly. At the gym, hair salon (again, pre-covid), people are just friendlier. But the big differences are professionally and with my husband. I'm sure other people have different experiences, but if you've always been thin, you really don't know whether it would be different if you weren't. The qualities many people associate with fatness are not positive, and weight discrimination is a real thing.

A size 6 is not fat. Weight discrimination is real, but you have never experienced it even at your heaviest weight if that was a size 6. Maybe you have encountered men who preferred you at a skinnier weight or preferred skinnier women. That's probably sexism on some level, but it's not weight discrimination. It drives me crazy when average-weight women talk about weight discrimination (again, a real thing) to justify why they want to be a size 0. A size 0! Even at 5'1", that is very, very small.

A lot of what you describe is subjective perception and may not really be happening. Being thinner may just make you feel happier and more confident, which makes you perceive others as nicer or more deferential. They also may be complimenting your because you seem happier.

It would be different if you were visibly overweight. Studies definitely show that people who are fat are treated worse across the board -- in customer service, at work, by doctors, etc. It's a real issue. But what you are are referring to as weight discrimination is like when white people with Greek or Italian heritage claim to be victims of racism in the US. Just, no.

I was the biggest woman on my team for two separate work teams. No, this was not just my perception - in certain industries, that's not atypical. It was the women as much as the men who were rude to me. I am not making this up. Obviously it would have been worse if I were bigger. But 'average' is totally relative to who you are around, and average sometimes is small.

I'm not "justifying" to you or anyone my current size. I like how I look and feel and get treated, but also no one has to justify their body to anyone else. You think I'm really small? Cool, have at it, enjoy.

I'm big and fat (size 16) and old (55). I am routinely dismissed and treated as not competent in my industry. Think about the older fat woman on The Office. I have had my thyroid removed and probably am one of those people who is heavier genetically (my grandma's were fat). My mom basically has kept her weight down through extremely restrictive eating and also, I suspect, binging and purging. I am currently on a diet -- except it's not a diet -- because I have to do it forever, that consists of no processed food, no sugar, no flour, no eating between meals and weighing and measuring every bite I put into my mouth. I'm losing about a pound a week and I have 100 pounds to lose. It's really hard, makes socializing difficult, is driving my family crazy because I can't eat most of what they eat, need all my food prepared separately -- and yet I have no choice. Being forced out of my industry is in my future if I don't figure out how to be prettier. No one cares about my skills or degrees or publications. This has definitely gotten worse with the Trump Administration and all the incompetent blond bimbos floating around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. I am naturally very thin (5'4", fluctuate naturally between 110 and 115). I don't diet or restrict. I am active in that I walk most places and go running a couple times a week, but otherwise I don't work out. This is just what my body is like. I also have small boobs and a flat butt. I think it is best to accept your body for what it is and aim for balanced good health. I think most women who work really hard to get down to my weight, when it is clear that their bodies would be more comfortable at a higher weight, don't look better than they would be at a higher weight. Some clothes fit better, but others don't (this is true for everyone -- I look good in some clothes and terrible in others and always have and always will).

I am tired of spending time with female friends who are always dieting and restricting, who act like weighing less is some great accomplishment or gift, who complain about their weight constantly even though they are not overweight or unhealthy, or who assume I am judging them for their weight (I'm not). Being thin is not the same as being pretty, or sexy. It's just thin. Why is this such a goal of so many women? I have been thin my entire life and it's not that great! Yes, some people admire my body (but often in unkind ways -- it's not fun to be told "I hate you for being so thin" especially when it's not even something you picked for yourself), but many people still criticize it, both men and women. I have been told I'm "too" thin, that I look like I don't eat enough, been made fun of for being flat chested, told I'm not a "real woman" because I don't have curves. I've had women in my life who told me they could not be friends with me because my weight was triggering for them.

Do what you want with your body but I really cannot emphasize this enough: however much you think you look better at a weight that you have to seriously restrict your food to reach, no one else cares. Obviously if it's worth it to you, that's your choice. But if you are doing it for other people, you are wasting your energy. Your husband doesn't even care. Your friends definitely don't. Even those mean ladies you think judge you for not being thin? They'll just judge you for losing weight because they are mean, vindictive people who are looking for reasons to hate.

Anyway, back to your regularly scheduled programming.

I'm 5'1", and losing 15 lbs to drop from a size 6 to a 0/2, people are nicer to me everywhere. I get treated like I'm more competent professionally by men and women. Men smile at me on the street (not now, obviously, but pre-covid.) My husband tells me how hot I look regularly. At the gym, hair salon (again, pre-covid), people are just friendlier. But the big differences are professionally and with my husband. I'm sure other people have different experiences, but if you've always been thin, you really don't know whether it would be different if you weren't. The qualities many people associate with fatness are not positive, and weight discrimination is a real thing.

This is so incredibly warped.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lol, yes obviously.

But I'm 5'6" and feel I look best around 120-125 so I set the bar pretty high for myself. That's a very muscular 120, I use my Peloton daily, yoga several times a week, Tonal several times a week and I'm getting a stripper pole installed in my home gym for pole work.

125 is really low for 5'6". I feel like my baseline, easy to maintain weight has moved up in the past 10 years. I can work to bring it down but it is harder than it was before.

That's my weight, usually around 122-123, it isn't really low. I look healthy -- not overly thin. I have to work out regularly to stay at this weight and watch my eat - but I'm not restrictive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. I am naturally very thin (5'4", fluctuate naturally between 110 and 115). I don't diet or restrict. I am active in that I walk most places and go running a couple times a week, but otherwise I don't work out. This is just what my body is like. I also have small boobs and a flat butt. I think it is best to accept your body for what it is and aim for balanced good health. I think most women who work really hard to get down to my weight, when it is clear that their bodies would be more comfortable at a higher weight, don't look better than they would be at a higher weight. Some clothes fit better, but others don't (this is true for everyone -- I look good in some clothes and terrible in others and always have and always will).

I am tired of spending time with female friends who are always dieting and restricting, who act like weighing less is some great accomplishment or gift, who complain about their weight constantly even though they are not overweight or unhealthy, or who assume I am judging them for their weight (I'm not). Being thin is not the same as being pretty, or sexy. It's just thin. Why is this such a goal of so many women? I have been thin my entire life and it's not that great! Yes, some people admire my body (but often in unkind ways -- it's not fun to be told "I hate you for being so thin" especially when it's not even something you picked for yourself), but many people still criticize it, both men and women. I have been told I'm "too" thin, that I look like I don't eat enough, been made fun of for being flat chested, told I'm not a "real woman" because I don't have curves. I've had women in my life who told me they could not be friends with me because my weight was triggering for them.

Do what you want with your body but I really cannot emphasize this enough: however much you think you look better at a weight that you have to seriously restrict your food to reach, no one else cares. Obviously if it's worth it to you, that's your choice. But if you are doing it for other people, you are wasting your energy. Your husband doesn't even care. Your friends definitely don't. Even those mean ladies you think judge you for not being thin? They'll just judge you for losing weight because they are mean, vindictive people who are looking for reasons to hate.

Anyway, back to your regularly scheduled programming.

I'm 5'1", and losing 15 lbs to drop from a size 6 to a 0/2, people are nicer to me everywhere. I get treated like I'm more competent professionally by men and women. Men smile at me on the street (not now, obviously, but pre-covid.) My husband tells me how hot I look regularly. At the gym, hair salon (again, pre-covid), people are just friendlier. But the big differences are professionally and with my husband. I'm sure other people have different experiences, but if you've always been thin, you really don't know whether it would be different if you weren't. The qualities many people associate with fatness are not positive, and weight discrimination is a real thing.

This is so incredibly warped.

I'm not *advocating* that skinny people be treated better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. I am naturally very thin (5'4", fluctuate naturally between 110 and 115). I don't diet or restrict. I am active in that I walk most places and go running a couple times a week, but otherwise I don't work out. This is just what my body is like. I also have small boobs and a flat butt. I think it is best to accept your body for what it is and aim for balanced good health. I think most women who work really hard to get down to my weight, when it is clear that their bodies would be more comfortable at a higher weight, don't look better than they would be at a higher weight. Some clothes fit better, but others don't (this is true for everyone -- I look good in some clothes and terrible in others and always have and always will).

I am tired of spending time with female friends who are always dieting and restricting, who act like weighing less is some great accomplishment or gift, who complain about their weight constantly even though they are not overweight or unhealthy, or who assume I am judging them for their weight (I'm not). Being thin is not the same as being pretty, or sexy. It's just thin. Why is this such a goal of so many women? I have been thin my entire life and it's not that great! Yes, some people admire my body (but often in unkind ways -- it's not fun to be told "I hate you for being so thin" especially when it's not even something you picked for yourself), but many people still criticize it, both men and women. I have been told I'm "too" thin, that I look like I don't eat enough, been made fun of for being flat chested, told I'm not a "real woman" because I don't have curves. I've had women in my life who told me they could not be friends with me because my weight was triggering for them.

Do what you want with your body but I really cannot emphasize this enough: however much you think you look better at a weight that you have to seriously restrict your food to reach, no one else cares. Obviously if it's worth it to you, that's your choice. But if you are doing it for other people, you are wasting your energy. Your husband doesn't even care. Your friends definitely don't. Even those mean ladies you think judge you for not being thin? They'll just judge you for losing weight because they are mean, vindictive people who are looking for reasons to hate.

Anyway, back to your regularly scheduled programming.

I'm 5'1", and losing 15 lbs to drop from a size 6 to a 0/2, people are nicer to me everywhere. I get treated like I'm more competent professionally by men and women. Men smile at me on the street (not now, obviously, but pre-covid.) My husband tells me how hot I look regularly. At the gym, hair salon (again, pre-covid), people are just friendlier. But the big differences are professionally and with my husband. I'm sure other people have different experiences, but if you've always been thin, you really don't know whether it would be different if you weren't. The qualities many people associate with fatness are not positive, and weight discrimination is a real thing.

A size 6 is not fat. Weight discrimination is real, but you have never experienced it even at your heaviest weight if that was a size 6. Maybe you have encountered men who preferred you at a skinnier weight or preferred skinnier women. That's probably sexism on some level, but it's not weight discrimination. It drives me crazy when average-weight women talk about weight discrimination (again, a real thing) to justify why they want to be a size 0. A size 0! Even at 5'1", that is very, very small.

A lot of what you describe is subjective perception and may not really be happening. Being thinner may just make you feel happier and more confident, which makes you perceive others as nicer or more deferential. They also may be complimenting your because you seem happier.

It would be different if you were visibly overweight. Studies definitely show that people who are fat are treated worse across the board -- in customer service, at work, by doctors, etc. It's a real issue. But what you are are referring to as weight discrimination is like when white people with Greek or Italian heritage claim to be victims of racism in the US. Just, no.

I was the biggest woman on my team for two separate work teams. No, this was not just my perception - in certain industries, that's not atypical. It was the women as much as the men who were rude to me. I am not making this up. Obviously it would have been worse if I were bigger. But 'average' is totally relative to who you are around, and average sometimes is small.

I'm not "justifying" to you or anyone my current size. I like how I look and feel and get treated, but also no one has to justify their body to anyone else. You think I'm really small? Cool, have at it, enjoy.

I'm big and fat (size 16) and old (55). I am routinely dismissed and treated as not competent in my industry. Think about the older fat woman on The Office. I have had my thyroid removed and probably am one of those people who is heavier genetically (my grandma's were fat). My mom basically has kept her weight down through extremely restrictive eating and also, I suspect, binging and purging. I am currently on a diet -- except it's not a diet -- because I have to do it forever, that consists of no processed food, no sugar, no flour, no eating between meals and weighing and measuring every bite I put into my mouth. I'm losing about a pound a week and I have 100 pounds to lose. It's really hard, makes socializing difficult, is driving my family crazy because I can't eat most of what they eat, need all my food prepared separately -- and yet I have no choice. Being forced out of my industry is in my future if I don't figure out how to be prettier. No one cares about my skills or degrees or publications. This has definitely gotten worse with the Trump Administration and all the incompetent blond bimbos floating around.

Sending you a lot of support, and no this is not all in your head. I was always a size 6 without watching my weight until I had extensive fertility treatments in my late 30s and gained 60 pounds that I can't seem to shake without extremely restrictive eating now in my 40s. People are significantly less kind to me as a size 12/14 than they were when I was a size 6. People assume I am less professionally competent, when I have many years more experience now. It's infuriating, though apparently not enough for me to eat no carbs, sugar, or much beyond a 1000 calorie protein and vegetable diet.

[Anonymous]

This is OP. Thanks for the replies and perspectives.

I feel like I look my best at 140, and do notice a big difference in how I look at 145.

My biggest issue is that all my weight goes to my stomach... I have very thin arms and legs and when I gain even a little people constantly think I am pregnant. Last week I was at the grocery store and the woman ringing up my food asked how far along I am.