And somehow that is logical to some posters. Who knew? |
Some people are good at hiding things. He may be drinking secretly which is what many alcoholics do. |
Two is not multiple. |
NP, I think the part where your husband said "don't come in hammered!" may have tipped them off. |
| Where did the OP write that she is losing drinking time? Did she provide an update? Am I more blind than I think? |
| Also is likely that despite himself he was attracted to someone with a propensity for things his parents had issues with. |
+1 |
They are a married couple, not parent and child. Her husband is an adult. If he has issues, he needs to act like the adult he is and discuss them with his wife or schedule time with a therapist. Instead he’s making passive-aggressive comments. OP hasn’t changed her behaviour, and she’s not being spiteful. How about he put on his big boy pants and ask for help if he needs it. |
| If OP's husband was making these comments about the food that OP was taking in--and make no mistake, bad food habits are just as unhealthy, if not worse than, moderate drinking--you all would say he has a control problem, he's horrible, get him therapy. I could have warned you OP, any mention of alcohol brings out many uneducated, judgemental prudes. |
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I see, she gave an update.
My mom is a child of an alcoholic father. She doesn't drink. She created a scene every single time dad drank. Dad was not a violent drunk, nor an alcoholic. Her dad was an abusive alcoholic. She had a reflex in her brain and hence every situation if dad drank, turned into a huge fight. I think this type of behavior became something she could not control. As for op saying she is losing drinking time...that is weird. Who but an alcoholic writes such a thing? Is her brain actually telling her she does have a problem? And I am not buying it for a second that all this drinking is happening outdoors. One thing all alcoholics do is lie. |
This is the first mention of “losing drinking time”, which everyone has jumped on. IS THIS THE OP? I don’t think so. I doubt she would write that she is not concerned about her husband. This is someone cruelly attributing callousness and a preoccupation with “losing drinking time” to her. So everyone needs to recognize that OP did not write this, and back off on the idea of “losing drinking time”. |
If you are using alcohol as a "stress reliever/social lubricant," you may be experiencing grey area drinking. There is a difference between grey area drinking and substance abuse. Your husband just lost his parents and comes from an alcoholic background. As a loving, supportive spouse, abstaining from alcohol or at least temporarily is a kind thing to do. If alcohol is more important than a personal relationship, that is definitely a red flag. |
| When I hear people say they want to “refresh” their drink, I reflexively think they don’t want to acknowledge having a third or fourth. I realize that may not be the case here, but I am sensitive to the cutesy language that people use to describe their drinking. I am very occasional drinker with lots of alcoholism in my family. |
I never did, some posters just decided to bring their own biases to bear and rip me a new one . I'm the OP. I don't care about "losing drinking time." I do care about suddenly being told what to do, even if it's as harmless as having drinks with friends outdoors once a week. It's really hard. I feel I'm being watched. And it's not just me - he makes snide comments about this own friends having beers outdoors too, and made some comment about a booze commercial last night.
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Thank you - OP. |