What do men look for in a woman whom they would want to marry?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband wanted me to be skinny and smart. I'm still skinny after a bunch of kids and we are pretty happy so I guess it worked.

So he'd turf you out if you gained some weight? Ah, true love

He would (big time) lose attraction, proportional to just how much extra weight. And marriages that lack attraction quite often fail.
Is this really news? Did you just arrive on planet earth?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was just talking to a male acquaintance and he was describing a woman as a great catch because of “her looks, her job, and her cooking”. I thought is that really it? Seems really simplified, but I know men are driven by different things then women. Men, what would make a woman someone you could have a serious relationship with or marry?

Following, since my last ex told me I wasn't "marriage material." Would love to know what men think of.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Man here, basic requirements

Good person, how well she will age, not a social media addict.

Don’t care about job, or family history.

I am glad someone cares about that. I do wonder if men think about how their wives will raise their kids....does that cross your mind? Or is that too far in the future?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was just talking to a male acquaintance and he was describing a woman as a great catch because of “her looks, her job, and her cooking”. I thought is that really it? Seems really simplified, but I know men are driven by different things then women. Men, what would make a woman someone you could have a serious relationship with or marry?

Following, since my last ex told me I wasn't "marriage material." Would love to know what men think of.

Men I know that put in categories--usually mean a woman is promiscuous or has been fairly promiscuous--(more like a man with how she hooks up randomly or high # of prior partners), has something in her background that's sketchy, is drama, does not have a good education, her family is messed up, different religions (even from men that don't actively practice religion they were raised with), no career. There is usually a combination of these things.

I would not take it personally though. You might have none of those issues, but he just used that saying as an excuse. He might also be a guy that wants parental approval and for whatever reason doesn't think you are a match for his family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Man here, basic requirements

Good person, how well she will age, not a social media addict.

Don’t care about job, or family history.

I am glad someone cares about that. I do wonder if men think about how their wives will raise their kids....does that cross your mind? Or is that too far in the future?

I thought that was a given. Any man that is entitled, has bad manners, treats wait staff and cashiers with zero respect--is obviously a no-go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was just talking to a male acquaintance and he was describing a woman as a great catch because of “her looks, her job, and her cooking”. I thought is that really it? Seems really simplified, but I know men are driven by different things then women. Men, what would make a woman someone you could have a serious relationship with or marry?

Following, since my last ex told me I wasn't "marriage material." Would love to know what men think of.

Men I know that put in categories--usually mean a woman is promiscuous or has been fairly promiscuous--(more like a man with how she hooks up randomly or high # of prior partners), has something in her background that's sketchy, is drama, does not have a good education, her family is messed up, different religions (even from men that don't actively practice religion they were raised with), no career. There is usually a combination of these things.

I would not take it personally though. You might have none of those issues, but he just used that saying as an excuse. He might also be a guy that wants parental approval and for whatever reason doesn't think you are a match for his family.

Adding on: if you are old and he wants a lot of biological children, if you are divorced and/or already have kids and he wants to start a marriage 'fresh'. Any things that don't match up with what is on a person's list.

But: single most important thing: if somebody ever says this to you and you want marriage---run...even if they come back to you later. They didn't think you were good enough and who wants to be somebody's back up plan?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was just talking to a male acquaintance and he was describing a woman as a great catch because of “her looks, her job, and her cooking”. I thought is that really it? Seems really simplified, but I know men are driven by different things then women. Men, what would make a woman someone you could have a serious relationship with or marry?

Following, since my last ex told me I wasn't "marriage material." Would love to know what men think of.

Men I know that put in categories--usually mean a woman is promiscuous or has been fairly promiscuous--(more like a man with how she hooks up randomly or high # of prior partners), has something in her background that's sketchy, is drama, does not have a good education, her family is messed up, different religions (even from men that don't actively practice religion they were raised with), no career. There is usually a combination of these things.

I would not take it personally though. You might have none of those issues, but he just used that saying as an excuse. He might also be a guy that wants parental approval and for whatever reason doesn't think you are a match for his family.

Adding on: if you are old and he wants a lot of biological children, if you are divorced and/or already have kids and he wants to start a marriage 'fresh'. Any things that don't match up with what is on a person's list.

But: single most important thing: if somebody ever says this to you and you want marriage---run...even if they come back to you later. They didn't think you were good enough and who wants to be somebody's back up plan?

I guess I'll be the a@@home here: yes, I do think there are two broad categories of women. Girls whose personalities and lifestyles only make them good candidates for short-term fun (ie those you f*ck) and girls who are actually driven, kind, intelligent and have qualities suitable for building a real bond and life together (ie those you marry)."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was just talking to a male acquaintance and he was describing a woman as a great catch because of “her looks, her job, and her cooking”. I thought is that really it? Seems really simplified, but I know men are driven by different things then women. Men, what would make a woman someone you could have a serious relationship with or marry?

Following, since my last ex told me I wasn't "marriage material." Would love to know what men think of.

Men I know that put in categories--usually mean a woman is promiscuous or has been fairly promiscuous--(more like a man with how she hooks up randomly or high # of prior partners), has something in her background that's sketchy, is drama, does not have a good education, her family is messed up, different religions (even from men that don't actively practice religion they were raised with), no career. There is usually a combination of these things.

I would not take it personally though. You might have none of those issues, but he just used that saying as an excuse. He might also be a guy that wants parental approval and for whatever reason doesn't think you are a match for his family.

Adding on: if you are old and he wants a lot of biological children, if you are divorced and/or already have kids and he wants to start a marriage 'fresh'. Any things that don't match up with what is on a person's list.

But: single most important thing: if somebody ever says this to you and you want marriage---run...even if they come back to you later. They didn't think you were good enough and who wants to be somebody's back up plan?

+1 marriage material means she can't JUST be good in bed and attractive.

There is a much higher standard for marriage material.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was just talking to a male acquaintance and he was describing a woman as a great catch because of “her looks, her job, and her cooking”. I thought is that really it? Seems really simplified, but I know men are driven by different things then women. Men, what would make a woman someone you could have a serious relationship with or marry?

Following, since my last ex told me I wasn't "marriage material." Would love to know what men think of.

Men I know that put in categories--usually mean a woman is promiscuous or has been fairly promiscuous--(more like a man with how she hooks up randomly or high # of prior partners), has something in her background that's sketchy, is drama, does not have a good education, her family is messed up, different religions (even from men that don't actively practice religion they were raised with), no career. There is usually a combination of these things.

I would not take it personally though. You might have none of those issues, but he just used that saying as an excuse. He might also be a guy that wants parental approval and for whatever reason doesn't think you are a match for his family.

Adding on: if you are old and he wants a lot of biological children, if you are divorced and/or already have kids and he wants to start a marriage 'fresh'. Any things that don't match up with what is on a person's list.

But: single most important thing: if somebody ever says this to you and you want marriage---run...even if they come back to you later. They didn't think you were good enough and who wants to be somebody's back up plan?

+1 marriage material means she can't JUST be good in bed and attractive.

There is a much higher standard for marriage material.

The good in bed is a high hurtles. It’s more just open to having sex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Man here, basic requirements

Good person, how well she will age, not a social media addict.

Don’t care about job, or family history.

I am glad someone cares about that. I do wonder if men think about how their wives will raise their kids....does that cross your mind? Or is that too far in the future?

I definitely thought about that and while I did see her interact with children anybody can fake it. I’m sure she wondered about me as well. But her whole persona was built on warmth and caring. Before we got married she would drive an hour to visit her widowed grandfather almost every weekend and she did the same for a few years after we got married until he passed away. She was his only family in the area.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband wanted me to be skinny and smart. I'm still skinny after a bunch of kids and we are pretty happy so I guess it worked.

So he'd turf you out if you gained some weight? Ah, true love

He's a great guy- I'm not about to gain weight to find out!

Doesn't sound great.
And since when is "skinny" attractive? Fit or thin yes but skinny no.

[Anonymous]

For my DH -
1) Love
2) Looks, libido, chemistry
3) Not clingy or needy, good natured
4) Compatibility. In upbringing, values, education, SES, morals, goals, financial sense, child-rearing philosophy, character.
5) Be very well educated so that - she can educate the kids if needed, navigate the world, self fulfillment and esteem, earn money if needed.

For me -
1) Love, loyalty, kindness, honesty
2) Compatibility. In upbringing, values, education, SES, morals, goals, financial sense, child-raring philosophy, character.
4) Ability to provide for family
5) Looks, chemistry, libido
2) Coming from intact family

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband wanted me to be skinny and smart. I'm still skinny after a bunch of kids and we are pretty happy so I guess it worked.

So he'd turf you out if you gained some weight? Ah, true love

He's a great guy- I'm not about to gain weight to find out!

Doesn't sound great.
And since when is "skinny" attractive? Fit or thin yes but skinny no.

Skinny is attractive. Thin is not attractive.

- DP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For my DH -
1) Love
2) Looks, libido, chemistry
3) Not clingy or needy, good natured
4) Compatibility. In upbringing, values, education, SES, morals, goals, financial sense, child-rearing philosophy, character.
5) Be very well educated so that - she can educate the kids if needed, navigate the world, self fulfillment and esteem, earn money if needed.

For me -
1) Love, loyalty, kindness, honesty
2) Compatibility. In upbringing, values, education, SES, morals, goals, financial sense, child-raring philosophy, character.
4) Ability to provide for family
5) Looks, chemistry, libido
2) Coming from intact family

that's the big one that you're not allowed to admit, but the research is pretty clear that couples from intact backgrounds are more less likely to divorce

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband wanted me to be skinny and smart. I'm still skinny after a bunch of kids and we are pretty happy so I guess it worked.

So he'd turf you out if you gained some weight? Ah, true love

He's a great guy- I'm not about to gain weight to find out!

Doesn't sound great.
And since when is "skinny" attractive? Fit or thin yes but skinny no.

Well, I married him not you. So I'm the only one who needs to think he's great. And i do. And I'm staying slim because he likes it.