Was accidentally on a group text...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is nice that they are including your child. He must be a nightmare. Be glad you have friends and laugh it off.

This, OP. Right now he’s a handful, but they include him. I think it says a lot about how much they like you- meaning they like you a lot. PIA kids usually get sidelined. Be very thankful and really observe your son- work with him on things that clearly drive other people crazy. It will make a better life for both of you.

This- if you want to salvage this group, don't think of it as badmouthing- think of it as a gift of the truth, and try to address with humor, grace, and yes, better behavior. If you get pissy, fine, they will cut you out. A big relief to all of them I'd bet. You are the one who needs to scrape and bow, unfortunately. If not, you have to let the group go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is nice that they are including your child. He must be a nightmare. Be glad you have friends and laugh it off.

Most young boys are nightmares.

That’s not true. But these people are all complicit in being jerks. I’d find new friends. What bitches. It’s one thing to say that quietly to another person, it’s another to put it in a group text.

If it were me, I might gift her a bottle of wine at the event and say “sorry to rain on your parade with our presence, but just so you know your little angel taught my kid the F word and is a bully like his mother” (or whatever it is her kid did because I’m sure they’re not perfect)

Well, someone is certainly a nightmare here...

As bad as the original comment was, so many of the responses here are 10x worse. I hate to think about what these posters' daughters will be like when they're teenagers.

Wrong. Trash talking a kid is beyond the pale. Calling out the bully is fine. I’m non confrontational so I probably wouldn’t go through with it and sadly, I’d probably just remove everyone on the text from my life outside of whatever school/kid things needed to be done.

Way to put your petty complaints above what's best for your children. That's super big of you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is nice that they are including your child. He must be a nightmare. Be glad you have friends and laugh it off.

This, OP. Right now he’s a handful, but they include him. I think it says a lot about how much they like you- meaning they like you a lot. PIA kids usually get sidelined. Be very thankful and really observe your son- work with him on things that clearly drive other people crazy. It will make a better life for both of you.

I think it says a lot that none of the other moms in the group text stood up for you and your kid. No, these people do not like you very much and they are clearly not your friends.

I really don't understand comments like PPs' - are you really so obsessed with your own popularity that you want to be friends with people who are saying things like this about your child?? This isn't high school, and I, personally, would not tolerate this kind of mean girl behavior. It's kind of pathetic if you do.

[Anonymous]

OP, slightly off topic but felt compelled to tell you that when DS was younger he had a friend who drew this sort of remark from parents. He could be exhausting but DS loved him and so did we. This kid is now a young man, excelling in everything he sets his mind to. He has ADHD but age has taught him many coping skills. He's going to live his best life. Just wanted to add a positive to some of the negative.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would just say what you said here. “Hi X, just saw this. I know Y can be a handful but we love him and appreciate you all including him in this activity.”

Be the bigger person. Anyone who is worth their salt would apologize privately.

This is really nice. Probably the most reasonable thing that has been posted here. I would remove the "we love him" part, and replace with "he really enjoys this activity/spending time with your kids/whatever."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’d go with - “He may be challenging, but at least he knows better than to gossip. Or at least he’s bright enough not to talk about people who are actually participating in the group text!”

Omg no. So defensive and pathetic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would just say what you said here. “Hi X, just saw this. I know Y can be a handful but we love him and appreciate you all including him in this activity.”

Be the bigger person. Anyone who is worth their salt would apologize privately.

This is really nice. Probably the most reasonable thing that has been posted here. I would remove the "we love him" part, and replace with "he really enjoys this activity/spending time with your kids/whatever."

+1

And the person will be mortified. Rightly so.

[Anonymous]

OP - Did you respond??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is nice that they are including your child. He must be a nightmare. Be glad you have friends and laugh it off.

Most young boys are nightmares.

That’s not true. But these people are all complicit in being jerks. I’d find new friends. What bitches. It’s one thing to say that quietly to another person, it’s another to put it in a group text.

If it were me, I might gift her a bottle of wine at the event and say “sorry to rain on your parade with our presence, but just so you know your little angel taught my kid the F word and is a bully like his mother” (or whatever it is her kid did because I’m sure they’re not perfect)

Well, someone is certainly a nightmare here...

As bad as the original comment was, so many of the responses here are 10x worse. I hate to think about what these posters' daughters will be like when they're teenagers.

Wrong. Trash talking a kid is beyond the pale. Calling out the bully is fine. I’m non confrontational so I probably wouldn’t go through with it and sadly, I’d probably just remove everyone on the text from my life outside of whatever school/kid things needed to be done.

Way to put your petty complaints above what's best for your children. That's super big of you.

Petty complaints? This grown ass woman is shit talking to other adults about a child. Where are you from that this is ok? My kids are super well behaved outside of the home so we haven’t experienced th is yet, but even when there are disruptive and challenging kids, it would NEVER cross my mind to say something like this out loud. That woman is a petty bitch.

[Anonymous]

I would just go with “well this is awkward”. It isn’t mean. It doesn’t make you look bad and it is a little funny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is nice that they are including your child. He must be a nightmare. Be glad you have friends and laugh it off.

This, OP. Right now he’s a handful, but they include him. I think it says a lot about how much they like you- meaning they like you a lot. PIA kids usually get sidelined. Be very thankful and really observe your son- work with him on things that clearly drive other people crazy. It will make a better life for both of you.

I think it says a lot that none of the other moms in the group text stood up for you and your kid. No, these people do not like you very much and they are clearly not your friends.

I really don't understand comments like PPs' - are you really so obsessed with your own popularity that you want to be friends with people who are saying things like this about your child?? This isn't high school, and I, personally, would not tolerate this kind of mean girl behavior. It's kind of pathetic if you do.

I agree that it says a lot that nobody defended her, but I don't think it means that they don't like the mom. I think they must like her a lot or they'd exclude her. Clearly they ALL think that about the child, which is the reason that nobody could defend her. The only reason she's being included is because they like the mom. If OP does something bitchy now, they will all just avoid her family entirely.

[Anonymous]

OP if this is a group composed primarily of girls or boys who are more sedate I would just brush it off.

However, if there are other boys in the group then you really need to look at what you are doing when your son misbehaves. No one would make a comment like that with a patent ago is trying and actively disciplining. It sounds like your son is loud and misbehaves and you do nothing but shrug your shoulders and ignore. I have a son who can be loud and wild especially when he is around another boy in our group. When he starts to gets out of control I give him a warning. If behavior doesn't improve I take him to the car and he gets a time out or we leave. I don't care if he screams or kicks to the car or makes a scene, I take control and remove him from the situation because it isn't fair to the other parents and kids. Over the years I realized we kept getting invites but the other wild boy whose mom never got up or disciplines and just laughed it off or shrugged her shoulders stopped getting invited.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is nice that they are including your child. He must be a nightmare. Be glad you have friends and laugh it off.

Most young boys are nightmares.

That’s not true. But these people are all complicit in being jerks. I’d find new friends. What bitches. It’s one thing to say that quietly to another person, it’s another to put it in a group text.

If it were me, I might gift her a bottle of wine at the event and say “sorry to rain on your parade with our presence, but just so you know your little angel taught my kid the F word and is a bully like his mother” (or whatever it is her kid did because I’m sure they’re not perfect)

Well, someone is certainly a nightmare here...

As bad as the original comment was, so many of the responses here are 10x worse. I hate to think about what these posters' daughters will be like when they're teenagers.

Wrong. Trash talking a kid is beyond the pale. Calling out the bully is fine. I’m non confrontational so I probably wouldn’t go through with it and sadly, I’d probably just remove everyone on the text from my life outside of whatever school/kid things needed to be done.

Way to put your petty complaints above what's best for your children. That's super big of you.

Petty complaints? This grown ass woman is shit talking to other adults about a child. Where are you from that this is ok? My kids are super well behaved outside of the home so we haven’t experienced th is yet, but even when there are disruptive and challenging kids, it would NEVER cross my mind to say something like this out loud. That woman is a petty bitch.

If your kids are young, I could believe they they're well behaved now. But I strongly suspect they turn into judgemental, petty, passive-aggressive @$sh0les by the time they're teenagers. But since you're the same way, you might not notice it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would just say what you said here. “Hi X, just saw this. I know Y can be a handful but we love him and appreciate you all including him in this activity.”

Be the bigger person. Anyone who is worth their salt would apologize privately.

This is really nice. Probably the most reasonable thing that has been posted here. I would remove the "we love him" part, and replace with "he really enjoys this activity/spending time with your kids/whatever."

This is gracious and it’s better to rise above.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is nice that they are including your child. He must be a nightmare. Be glad you have friends and laugh it off.

Most young boys are nightmares.

Lol, nope. But a few are.