Culture difference with American husband

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mine is kind of the same but he makes around 750k which is the weird thing. He doesn't want to live with rich yuppies or send our kids to private school with rich yuppies like we are not rich yuppies ourselves.

He didn't vote for Trump (thank god) but he couldn't bring himself to vote for Biden either. He was all in for McCain and Romney but now votes Libertarian.

However, he did concede on hiring tutors and he is more than willing to pay for private instructors when it comes to their sports.

^ Me again. I wanted to add, that he has this HUGE hang up about the supposed hypocrisy of liberal elites. He believes they are all very much "do as I say, not as a I do." Whereas the Republicans are upfront abut their selfishness and greed and there is something he respects about that.

I think that might have something to do with your DH's political attitude.

I mean, he's not wrong about that.

Signed, a lifelong Democrat

True.
Watch the cronyism and 50 years of being a rich politician in action soon.
And how again do you become wealthy from being a state senator, federal level senator again??

[Anonymous]

Op is a gold digger weirdo trying to write yet another tromp post.

Btw many people don’t even apply to Harvard it’s such a liberal echo chamber. The athletes out up with it but that’s about it, everyone else dreams of activism and politics for life. Can you imagine- just live off donor funds and taxpayers for decades! What a productive country!

[Anonymous]

He should have applied to Yale: lots of Supreme Court justices, several Republican presidents. As for newspapers, your husband would not mind if you read the NY Post, would he?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op is a gold digger weirdo trying to write yet another tromp post.

Btw many people don’t even apply to Harvard it’s such a liberal echo chamber. The athletes out up with it but that’s about it, everyone else dreams of activism and politics for life. Can you imagine- just live off donor funds and taxpayers for decades! What a productive country!

She is a gold digger but apparently not a very good one, since her DH has not lived up to her expectations. Hopefully she at least got a green card or citizenship out of it so she can dump him and find a better sugar daddy.

[Anonymous]

OP, you both want different things out of life, and unless you get your way, you’re just going to make your DH as miserable as you feel. You’re seeing everything through your filter of disappointment. Nothing he does or says will ever be good enough for you.

You’re a gold digger at heart who wants an attention-getting life style, you want what you want and you want it now! He wants a good job with a steady income and job security that’ll afford a nice and quiet UMC lifestyle, and will build wealth slowly like his parents did. There’s really nothing wrong with that; it’s just not enough for you.

Admit this to yourself and just get a divorce.

Read up on the White House party crashers, the Salahis. You remind me of Michaele, who was a Real Housewife and really wanted to be with a rock star. Sadly for her husband at the time, owning a vineyard just wasn’t enough for her.

[Anonymous]

I don’t think you’re a gold digger. My brother is just like this- he was raised with access to the very best education, healthy food, culture, fitness opportunities, and travel. He hit some bumps along the way, as did I, but took on a mindset of blaming others. In a vulnerable phase, he met my SIL, who is a professional but from a very uneducated, Trump-ish family. From my point of view, my brother had taken on a lifestyle and attitude like your DH because it relieves him of responsibility for his life and choices, especially our family’s cultural and class expectations. Basically, he’s lazy and insecure and this attitude is a convenient cop-out.

[Anonymous]

Did you marry your DH for the green card - to improve your economic position? I get it..

[Anonymous]

We are UMC and politically conservative and I personally tend to gravitate toward people more like your DH. He probably thinks rich people are mostly liberal elites and doesn’t want to associate with them. Find ways to keep it real and be less about material trappings of wealth. Btw, I love hot dogs and stay away from WF.

[Anonymous]

He sounds completely normal. What’s the problem?

[Anonymous]

You both sound insufferable. “Who you want to be” being related to your class makes you pretty gross. And him being a trumper makes him even grosser.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can you explain how the two of you ended up married to each other? You’re a very unlikely pair. You’re only going to grow unhappier together.

OP here. When we met we were in a similar friend group and I had no idea how I missed that he and I did not share the same cultural values. Part of it may have been my new immigrant naivete. I am also socially somewhat conservative so I remember liking that we can relate on that. After we got serious I realized his parents were hard working MC/LMC who used whatever they had to give their kids a push into a better life. His sister is doing so much better. She has a great job at a fortune 500 and is engaged to a rich guy from an UC background. She is very eager to ascent her MC/LMC roots and has assimilated perfectly into the UMC/UC.

My husband, perhaps in resistance, has veered further and further away from his educated and wealthy peers. He only hangs out with others who do not possess college degrees. He quit his well to do job to work for himself. He mocks me and makes fun of me for reading a newspaper and eating healthfully. He only gets his news from alt right twitter.I am terrified what impact he would have on our kids.

I feel so stupid as I did not pick up on these nuances when we were dating due to my lack of cultural knowledge.

PP. You need to divorce. Do not have kids. It will not get better.

OP here. I have put on hold my dream of having a family because I am terrified of what he will do. He will think anything I am doing to "better" their lives is me being "snobby." He keeps saying he just wants a life like his parents not understanding that even his parents DON'T want him to have a life like theirs.

So far he says his kids will only play football like "true americans"
They will learn to play jazz and not be part of an orchestra
They will not go to some "rich kid school full of toffs"

You lost me right here. I've never in my life heard an American say that.

--European

Toff
In British English slang, a toff is a derogatory stereotype for someone with an aristocratic background or belonging to the landed gentry, particularly someone who exudes an air of superiority.

Uh hunh. Where exactly did your Midwestern Trumpster husband pick up British slang? Not buying what you're selling.

Op is probably Indian and was schooled in British English and was paraphrasing. Also explains the social striving aspect of her personality.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He sounds immature, still trying to pretend who he is and where he came from, instead of accepting who he is. He may be embarrassed that he had advantages. Maybe his parents raised him saying, "We didn't have all these advantages when WE were growing up!" Or maybe he was duped by our insane president who pretends being broke and blue collar is better than being financially comfortable....

Alternatively he doesn’t care about flash. Op clearly does. Seriously, reread her posts, they’re insufferable.

[Anonymous]

OP, if you're going to make up a story, why such a boring one?

[Anonymous]

Testing out a new lame YA online book Op?

[Anonymous]

You two are simply incompatible.

There is no right or wrong person here.....
Just very different ideologies between you both.

Ask for a divorce so you can find yourself a suitable life mate.

Good luck 😀