Complete isolation of small children is abusive

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Giving your kids corona virus and not teaching them why staying home for the greater good is poor parenting.

You know who was for the greater good? Grindelwald.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just my opinion. So many little kids i know with parents who tend to be the anxious type are listless, cranky, acting out.

Little kids don't have the skills to say, I'm lonely I miss my friends. They cant control anything. They don't even get online connection. For them in person is the only real thing.

I think we're seeing mass child abuse especially of age 3-5.

Who are these kids, OP? And if they are being kept in isolation, how do you know how they are acting? Why do I think this entire post is a pout because you want to get together with other people and they are all telling you no?

I'm friends with their parents who are complaining to me. And thankfully we have a small pod we freely socialize with. We feel it's worth the risk to not be fully isolated. But I feel bad for these children.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't call it abuse because that implies that parents who are doing their best under terrible circumstances are abusive. I do think it reflects cultural neglect of children as a group, that we have just decided these kid's educational and social needs don't matter.

My 3-year-old is an only and I've worked so hard to compensate for the fact that her daycare closed in March and never reopened, and that her PK has been via DL. When it comes to school, doing right by my kid has meant skipped 90% of the scheduled activities and just trying to supplement at home. I told the teacher we would be skipping two days of class a week so she could go to a day camp where she can be with peers and do things like free play and coloring and going for walks outside. If I kept her inside doing DL every day all week, it would be torture for us both. She needs to move her little body around and be around other kids. She's not even very social (actually painfully shy) but I can already see how much healthier and more regulated she's been since starting th day camp. She still freaks out a bit when it's time to go -- she gets terrible separation anxiety now after so long with just her parents. But she's sleeping better and she seems more relaxed overall.

And we are lucky, because we can afford the day camp (just barely) and we are both working from home. Many of the children in her class don't have those options. Our society has abandoned kids and families. There are ways to address these issues safely. We just choose not to. It's embarrassing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Who is in complete isolation? Not one person.

Anyone in complete isolation is likely some who was already isolated to a large extent prepandemic. These include people who are elderly or have chronic illness. Not many families with young children as OP seems to think.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just my opinion. So many little kids i know with parents who tend to be the anxious type are listless, cranky, acting out.

Little kids don't have the skills to say, I'm lonely I miss my friends. They cant control anything. They don't even get online connection. For them in person is the only real thing.

I think we're seeing mass child abuse especially of age 3-5.

Who are these kids, OP? And if they are being kept in isolation, how do you know how they are acting? Why do I think this entire post is a pout because you want to get together with other people and they are all telling you no?

I'm friends with their parents who are complaining to me. And thankfully we have a small pod we freely socialize with. We feel it's worth the risk to not be fully isolated. But I feel bad for these children.

Then report your abusive friends to CPS. You don’t have to be a teacher or medical professional to make that phone call.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Under normal circumstances, yes. But this is a national crisis. At least they will live long enough (or better have parents who live long enough) to pay for therapy for their childhood issues.

Except the lockdown is bankrupting the parents, too.

The current situation is absolutely sacrificing the lives and education of children to give a handful of boomers a chance to live a few more years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You do realize that for much of history before the industrial revolution families were often isolated on farms far away from other families? Those kids survived.

They weren't an isolated as you think. Farms were closer together. Families were much larger, too.

My kids are more isolated now than my homesteading ancestors were in the midwest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In addition to the fear mongering, OP's post also overlooks the kids who LIKE being at home. Some kids don't need constant social interaction. Some kids have been so over scheduled that this down time might actually be good for them. It's important to understand the kid(s) you have and find a balance that works for everyone during this pandemic.

3-5 year olds? No. There’s a difference between letting your kid have down time, and not being able to attend to them for hours at a time while working.

No one said anything about leaving young kids home for hours unattended. And plenty of young kids are over scheduled. When my DS was in PK4 and K, there were kids in his class who had after school activities every single day: piano, soccer, swim, dance, karate, etc. They were constantly being shuttled around here and there. My DS has always been content to play at home or outside by himself, even as a young kid. He's pretty introverted and was never the type to play with kids he didn't know at the park. Every kid is different and making sweeping generalizations like OP did isn't helpful.

um yes we are talking about leaving kids unattended for hours. because we have JOBS. Not dangerously unattended (hopefully) but basically no attention other than the minimum. it’s not good for anyone, especially only children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In addition to the fear mongering, OP's post also overlooks the kids who LIKE being at home. Some kids don't need constant social interaction. Some kids have been so over scheduled that this down time might actually be good for them. It's important to understand the kid(s) you have and find a balance that works for everyone during this pandemic.

3-5 year olds? No. There’s a difference between letting your kid have down time, and not being able to attend to them for hours at a time while working.

No one said anything about leaving young kids home for hours unattended. And plenty of young kids are over scheduled. When my DS was in PK4 and K, there were kids in his class who had after school activities every single day: piano, soccer, swim, dance, karate, etc. They were constantly being shuttled around here and there. My DS has always been content to play at home or outside by himself, even as a young kid. He's pretty introverted and was never the type to play with kids he didn't know at the park. Every kid is different and making sweeping generalizations like OP did isn't helpful.

um yes we are talking about leaving kids unattended for hours. because we have JOBS. Not dangerously unattended (hopefully) but basically no attention other than the minimum. it’s not good for anyone, especially only children.

If you’re working, and leaving your ages 3-5 year old kids to fend for themselves (the age range this thread is about), then yes that is abusive. They are too young to be without superviskon for hours at a time. Daycares are open so not sure why you aren’t using them. What did you do pre covid when you worked? Continue doing that same thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In addition to the fear mongering, OP's post also overlooks the kids who LIKE being at home. Some kids don't need constant social interaction. Some kids have been so over scheduled that this down time might actually be good for them. It's important to understand the kid(s) you have and find a balance that works for everyone during this pandemic.

3-5 year olds? No. There’s a difference between letting your kid have down time, and not being able to attend to them for hours at a time while working.

No one said anything about leaving young kids home for hours unattended. And plenty of young kids are over scheduled. When my DS was in PK4 and K, there were kids in his class who had after school activities every single day: piano, soccer, swim, dance, karate, etc. They were constantly being shuttled around here and there. My DS has always been content to play at home or outside by himself, even as a young kid. He's pretty introverted and was never the type to play with kids he didn't know at the park. Every kid is different and making sweeping generalizations like OP did isn't helpful.

um yes we are talking about leaving kids unattended for hours. because we have JOBS. Not dangerously unattended (hopefully) but basically no attention other than the minimum. it’s not good for anyone, especially only children.

This was me this spring. DH was working, I was home on "maternity leave" and our daycare was closed. So our 3 and 4 year old basically ran wild around the neighborhood while I tried to hole up with the baby. There were legitimately hours I didn't know where my 3 year old was. I was trying to do the best given the situation. DH had to work. He took off the first 6 weeks but when COVID hit he was out of paternity leave.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In addition to the fear mongering, OP's post also overlooks the kids who LIKE being at home. Some kids don't need constant social interaction. Some kids have been so over scheduled that this down time might actually be good for them. It's important to understand the kid(s) you have and find a balance that works for everyone during this pandemic.

3-5 year olds? No. There’s a difference between letting your kid have down time, and not being able to attend to them for hours at a time while working.

No one said anything about leaving young kids home for hours unattended. And plenty of young kids are over scheduled. When my DS was in PK4 and K, there were kids in his class who had after school activities every single day: piano, soccer, swim, dance, karate, etc. They were constantly being shuttled around here and there. My DS has always been content to play at home or outside by himself, even as a young kid. He's pretty introverted and was never the type to play with kids he didn't know at the park. Every kid is different and making sweeping generalizations like OP did isn't helpful.

um yes we are talking about leaving kids unattended for hours. because we have JOBS. Not dangerously unattended (hopefully) but basically no attention other than the minimum. it’s not good for anyone, especially only children.

Yep, which is exactly why we decided to send my 4yo back to daycare when hers reopened. It wasn’t fair to her to be stuck at home trying to entertain herself or parked in front of a screen while we tried to WFH full time. We were so fortunate that our daycare reopened - we can’t afford a nanny and don’t have family close enough to really be able to help out.
Sometimes, I feel like kids this age are being completely forgotten in all the discussions of pandemic impacts on children. They aren’t school age, so they aren’t really impacted by all the DL/hybrid discussions, yet there’s still such an impact at this age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In addition to the fear mongering, OP's post also overlooks the kids who LIKE being at home. Some kids don't need constant social interaction. Some kids have been so over scheduled that this down time might actually be good for them. It's important to understand the kid(s) you have and find a balance that works for everyone during this pandemic.

3-5 year olds? No. There’s a difference between letting your kid have down time, and not being able to attend to them for hours at a time while working.

No one said anything about leaving young kids home for hours unattended. And plenty of young kids are over scheduled. When my DS was in PK4 and K, there were kids in his class who had after school activities every single day: piano, soccer, swim, dance, karate, etc. They were constantly being shuttled around here and there. My DS has always been content to play at home or outside by himself, even as a young kid. He's pretty introverted and was never the type to play with kids he didn't know at the park. Every kid is different and making sweeping generalizations like OP did isn't helpful.

um yes we are talking about leaving kids unattended for hours. because we have JOBS. Not dangerously unattended (hopefully) but basically no attention other than the minimum. it’s not good for anyone, especially only children.

If you’re working, and leaving your ages 3-5 year old kids to fend for themselves (the age range this thread is about), then yes that is abusive. They are too young to be without superviskon for hours at a time. Daycares are open so not sure why you aren’t using them. What did you do pre covid when you worked? Continue doing that same thing.

Way to miss the point. Parents who can’t afford daycare or fear the risks are left trying to cobble together a day where they can get their work done and keep their kids alive. The resulting situation is not good for kids mental health. My son is 8 so too old for daycare and old enough not to need constant oversight — and the isolation this summer was really unhealthy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Under normal circumstances, yes. But this is a national crisis. At least they will live long enough (or better have parents who live long enough) to pay for therapy for their childhood issues.

Except the lockdown is bankrupting the parents, too.

The current situation is absolutely sacrificing the lives and education of children to give a handful of boomers a chance to live a few more years.

If it is then you need to figure out your priorities and adjust your budget. If a fancy house is yours, stop complaining.

If you are with your family you are not isolated. Isolated is locked in a room alone 24/7.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In addition to the fear mongering, OP's post also overlooks the kids who LIKE being at home. Some kids don't need constant social interaction. Some kids have been so over scheduled that this down time might actually be good for them. It's important to understand the kid(s) you have and find a balance that works for everyone during this pandemic.

3-5 year olds? No. There’s a difference between letting your kid have down time, and not being able to attend to them for hours at a time while working.

No one said anything about leaving young kids home for hours unattended. And plenty of young kids are over scheduled. When my DS was in PK4 and K, there were kids in his class who had after school activities every single day: piano, soccer, swim, dance, karate, etc. They were constantly being shuttled around here and there. My DS has always been content to play at home or outside by himself, even as a young kid. He's pretty introverted and was never the type to play with kids he didn't know at the park. Every kid is different and making sweeping generalizations like OP did isn't helpful.

um yes we are talking about leaving kids unattended for hours. because we have JOBS. Not dangerously unattended (hopefully) but basically no attention other than the minimum. it’s not good for anyone, especially only children.

If you’re working, and leaving your ages 3-5 year old kids to fend for themselves (the age range this thread is about), then yes that is abusive. They are too young to be without superviskon for hours at a time. Daycares are open so not sure why you aren’t using them. What did you do pre covid when you worked? Continue doing that same thing.

Way to miss the point. Parents who can’t afford daycare or fear the risks are left trying to cobble together a day where they can get their work done and keep their kids alive. The resulting situation is not good for kids mental health. My son is 8 so too old for daycare and old enough not to need constant oversight — and the isolation this summer was really unhealthy.

If you are low income, the county and other places have vouchers and low cost child are for school aged kids. More more people on this board its about priorities and you cannot afford the expensive house and child care and didn't plan for emergencies. Play with your kid. That would help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In addition to the fear mongering, OP's post also overlooks the kids who LIKE being at home. Some kids don't need constant social interaction. Some kids have been so over scheduled that this down time might actually be good for them. It's important to understand the kid(s) you have and find a balance that works for everyone during this pandemic.

3-5 year olds? No. There’s a difference between letting your kid have down time, and not being able to attend to them for hours at a time while working.

No one said anything about leaving young kids home for hours unattended. And plenty of young kids are over scheduled. When my DS was in PK4 and K, there were kids in his class who had after school activities every single day: piano, soccer, swim, dance, karate, etc. They were constantly being shuttled around here and there. My DS has always been content to play at home or outside by himself, even as a young kid. He's pretty introverted and was never the type to play with kids he didn't know at the park. Every kid is different and making sweeping generalizations like OP did isn't helpful.

um yes we are talking about leaving kids unattended for hours. because we have JOBS. Not dangerously unattended (hopefully) but basically no attention other than the minimum. it’s not good for anyone, especially only children.

If you’re working, and leaving your ages 3-5 year old kids to fend for themselves (the age range this thread is about), then yes that is abusive. They are too young to be without superviskon for hours at a time. Daycares are open so not sure why you aren’t using them. What did you do pre covid when you worked? Continue doing that same thing.

Uh, before Covid, my 5 year old went school. Duh.

Also, a 3-5 year old can absolutely entertain themself for a couple hours. Maybe not ever single one, but most. My kid stopped napping when she was 2, so she's been doing "quiet time", which is basically just solo play for years in the afternoon. She selects a couple activities and then stays in her room doing them for about two hours a day. It's good for her to get a break from other people and have time to process her day. I often hear her playacting things that happened earlier in the day with her stuffed animals -- she's using that alone time to work through some stuff on her own, making connections and figuring out she's feeling without a parent or nanny hovering over her. The idea that a 3-5 year old needs intense supervision 100% of the time is absurd.