Complete isolation of small children is abusive

[Anonymous]

I think the effects of social isolation are something that parents should keep in mind when weighing their options. But I also think this post is a disservice to true child abuse and adds unnecessary guilt to parents who are already struggling (I write this as a mom of a 3 and 5 year old who feels like I’m juggling nothing but crappy choices).

We’ve ended up partnering up with a small pod for social interaction purposes, have frequent FaceTime calls with grandparents, and do park visits with masks on. It’s what works for us to balance our fears of the virus but keep our sanity. But we also don’t have any high risk family members. It doesn’t do a child any good to have play dates if their high risk parent, who may provide the family economic stability, dies or ends up hospitalized for a lengthy time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You know, I think there is a point to be made about the consequences of isolation and how they impact people.

But like for most of human history people did not widely socialize like we did. Mothers stayed home with small kids for many many centuries.

It is great what the modern world has provided us but being him with your kids for a few months is not child abuse.

I am actually much more worried about parental mental health for parents of kids that young and think the isolation angle on kids is more of an issue with kids who are school aged.

This is a unique historical event that is effecting people of all ages, like the spanish flu, the world wars, the great depression, the vietnam war and other events that have preceded it. It is temporary and this is still basically the best time in human history to be alive. I really think human beings need to practice more gratitude.

Before world war two, mothers were not home alone with their kids!

On farms, the whole family worked on the farm. Older sisters or grandmothers looked after babies and toddlers.

Poor women have always worked outside the home - doing domestic work or in factories.

Minority women have always worked.

You don’t know much about farming and ranching. I grew up on a ranch and was quite isolated. My grandparents and cousins did not work on the ranch. I did not make it to church every Sunday. It was a 45 minute drive, and something my parents didn’t always want to make. Especially in the winter. Or when there were a lot of cows giving birth.
It’s not abuse.

And your experience represents all farming communities going back centuries? I am from a farming family. If you go back far enough, almost all of us are from farming families.

[Anonymous]

In addition to the fear mongering, OP's post also overlooks the kids who LIKE being at home. Some kids don't need constant social interaction. Some kids have been so over scheduled that this down time might actually be good for them. It's important to understand the kid(s) you have and find a balance that works for everyone during this pandemic.

[Anonymous]

I would be more concerned about little children with abusive teachers. There have been many cases.

[Anonymous]

To be honest I worry much less about the 0-5 age cohort in terms of isolation. Many times, those kids don’t go to school anyways in large areas of the country , and they’re pretty much at home with a parent and rarely get out, in rural areas. At least in the past. My mom has mentioned how she was lonely as a little kid and jealous of her older sister going to school and making friends. She didn’t start school until first grade and says she just played in the yard alone.

I worry more about the pre teens who have developed online personas now and aren’t even interested in going back out with their real friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To be honest I worry much less about the 0-5 age cohort in terms of isolation. Many times, those kids don’t go to school anyways in large areas of the country , and they’re pretty much at home with a parent and rarely get out, in rural areas. At least in the past. My mom has mentioned how she was lonely as a little kid and jealous of her older sister going to school and making friends. She didn’t start school until first grade and says she just played in the yard alone.

I worry more about the pre teens who have developed online personas now and aren’t even interested in going back out with their real friends.

Your argument makes no sense. Socialization is important for kids of ALL ages. Just because kids in rural areas didn’t used to socialize until school doesn’t make it ok or healthy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To be honest I worry much less about the 0-5 age cohort in terms of isolation. Many times, those kids don’t go to school anyways in large areas of the country , and they’re pretty much at home with a parent and rarely get out, in rural areas. At least in the past. My mom has mentioned how she was lonely as a little kid and jealous of her older sister going to school and making friends. She didn’t start school until first grade and says she just played in the yard alone.

I worry more about the pre teens who have developed online personas now and aren’t even interested in going back out with their real friends.

Your argument makes no sense. Socialization is important for kids of ALL ages. Just because kids in rural areas didn’t used to socialize until school doesn’t make it ok or healthy.

A baby doesn’t need to socialize outside of being with his or her mother. As much as your baby’s daycare tries to convince you otherwise. 4 month olds don’t have “friends”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To be honest I worry much less about the 0-5 age cohort in terms of isolation. Many times, those kids don’t go to school anyways in large areas of the country , and they’re pretty much at home with a parent and rarely get out, in rural areas. At least in the past. My mom has mentioned how she was lonely as a little kid and jealous of her older sister going to school and making friends. She didn’t start school until first grade and says she just played in the yard alone.

I worry more about the pre teens who have developed online personas now and aren’t even interested in going back out with their real friends.

Your argument makes no sense. Socialization is important for kids of ALL ages. Just because kids in rural areas didn’t used to socialize until school doesn’t make it ok or healthy.

You mistake socialization with “playing with peers”. For young children , socialization is being with an attentive caregiver - being smiled at, talked to, fed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In addition to the fear mongering, OP's post also overlooks the kids who LIKE being at home. Some kids don't need constant social interaction. Some kids have been so over scheduled that this down time might actually be good for them. It's important to understand the kid(s) you have and find a balance that works for everyone during this pandemic.

3-5 year olds? No. There’s a difference between letting your kid have down time, and not being able to attend to them for hours at a time while working.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You know, I think there is a point to be made about the consequences of isolation and how they impact people.

But like for most of human history people did not widely socialize like we did. Mothers stayed home with small kids for many many centuries.

It is great what the modern world has provided us but being him with your kids for a few months is not child abuse.

I am actually much more worried about parental mental health for parents of kids that young and think the isolation angle on kids is more of an issue with kids who are school aged.

This is a unique historical event that is effecting people of all ages, like the spanish flu, the world wars, the great depression, the vietnam war and other events that have preceded it. It is temporary and this is still basically the best time in human history to be alive. I really think human beings need to practice more gratitude.

nice irrelevant post. the issue is MOMS ARE WORKING. If I didn’t have to work obviously would be different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To be honest I worry much less about the 0-5 age cohort in terms of isolation. Many times, those kids don’t go to school anyways in large areas of the country , and they’re pretty much at home with a parent and rarely get out, in rural areas. At least in the past. My mom has mentioned how she was lonely as a little kid and jealous of her older sister going to school and making friends. She didn’t start school until first grade and says she just played in the yard alone.

I worry more about the pre teens who have developed online personas now and aren’t even interested in going back out with their real friends.

Your argument makes no sense. Socialization is important for kids of ALL ages. Just because kids in rural areas didn’t used to socialize until school doesn’t make it ok or healthy.

You mistake socialization with “playing with peers”. For young children , socialization is being with an attentive caregiver - being smiled at, talked to, fed.

and now moms have to do that while working at the same time. yay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To be honest I worry much less about the 0-5 age cohort in terms of isolation. Many times, those kids don’t go to school anyways in large areas of the country , and they’re pretty much at home with a parent and rarely get out, in rural areas. At least in the past. My mom has mentioned how she was lonely as a little kid and jealous of her older sister going to school and making friends. She didn’t start school until first grade and says she just played in the yard alone.

I worry more about the pre teens who have developed online personas now and aren’t even interested in going back out with their real friends.

Your argument makes no sense. Socialization is important for kids of ALL ages. Just because kids in rural areas didn’t used to socialize until school doesn’t make it ok or healthy.

You mistake socialization with “playing with peers”. For young children , socialization is being with an attentive caregiver - being smiled at, talked to, fed.

and now moms have to do that while working at the same time. yay.

Ok that’s a completely different topic though. Also, daycares are open for working parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who is in complete isolation? Not one person.

We are with my two DDs. We haven't been anywhere since march.

That’s psychotic. You’re doing long-term damage to your kids.

No, we're following science. We get everything delievered. We have a large backyard for them to play in. They were really busy beforehand and they like not having to do a lot. They write letters to their friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In addition to the fear mongering, OP's post also overlooks the kids who LIKE being at home. Some kids don't need constant social interaction. Some kids have been so over scheduled that this down time might actually be good for them. It's important to understand the kid(s) you have and find a balance that works for everyone during this pandemic.

3-5 year olds? No. There’s a difference between letting your kid have down time, and not being able to attend to them for hours at a time while working.

No one said anything about leaving young kids home for hours unattended. And plenty of young kids are over scheduled. When my DS was in PK4 and K, there were kids in his class who had after school activities every single day: piano, soccer, swim, dance, karate, etc. They were constantly being shuttled around here and there. My DS has always been content to play at home or outside by himself, even as a young kid. He's pretty introverted and was never the type to play with kids he didn't know at the park. Every kid is different and making sweeping generalizations like OP did isn't helpful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just my opinion. So many little kids i know with parents who tend to be the anxious type are listless, cranky, acting out.

Little kids don't have the skills to say, I'm lonely I miss my friends. They cant control anything. They don't even get online connection. For them in person is the only real thing.

I think we're seeing mass child abuse especially of age 3-5.

Who are these kids, OP? And if they are being kept in isolation, how do you know how they are acting? Why do I think this entire post is a pout because you want to get together with other people and they are all telling you no?