Complete isolation of small children is abusive

[Anonymous]

Recent threads show this is quite common.

[Anonymous]

I don't know of any kids being raised in Skinner boxes.

[Anonymous]

Anybody thinking that a 1-2 hour playdate once or twice a week is in anyway comparable to even a half day preschool 3-5x a week is kidding themselves.

I am a sahm and sent my highly social 4.5 yo back as soon as his usual summer camp reopened in June. And we continued there for preschool as his usual preschool did not reopen in September. It's amazing how much he appears to have regained his sense of purpose since returning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just my opinion. So many little kids i know with parents who tend to be the anxious type are listless, cranky, acting out.

Little kids don't have the skills to say, I'm lonely I miss my friends. They cant control anything. They don't even get online connection. For them in person is the only real thing.

I think we're seeing mass child abuse especially of age 3-5.

Horse hockey? Teach them to read. Why don't you play with them. I am sick of coddling children. They survive wars and grow up to be decent adults and don't wallow in self pity. I grew up with a next door neighbor whose mother had survived Auschwitz. She was a lovely woman who did not complain.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just my opinion. So many little kids i know with parents who tend to be the anxious type are listless, cranky, acting out.

Little kids don't have the skills to say, I'm lonely I miss my friends. They cant control anything. They don't even get online connection. For them in person is the only real thing.

I think we're seeing mass child abuse especially of age 3-5.

Horse hockey? Teach them to read. Why don't you play with them. I am sick of coddling children. They survive wars and grow up to be decent adults and don't wallow in self pity. I grew up with a next door neighbor whose mother had survived Auschwitz. She was a lovely woman who did not complain.

Came here to say this. Two of my grandparent fought in World War II. One escaped from a Croatian concentration camp processing line. That whole generation did what needed to be done.

Get a grip. Wear a mask. Stay home as much as possible. We will get through this, more quickly and with fewer dead if we all take it seriously.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Under normal circumstances, yes. But this is a national crisis. At least they will live long enough (or better have parents who live long enough) to pay for therapy for their childhood issues.

Yeah, you are right. Sell the schools to the highest bidder!

[Anonymous]

OP is nuts. You do realize that it wasn't until very recently in society that we started sending kids under 6 to school at all, right?

Until K or 1st grade, the vast majority of kids in the vast majority of the world were at home with family the vast majority of the time. Some still are. This is...not a big deal, socially or developmentally speaking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Anybody thinking that a 1-2 hour playdate once or twice a week is in anyway comparable to even a half day preschool 3-5x a week is kidding themselves.

I am a sahm and sent my highly social 4.5 yo back as soon as his usual summer camp reopened in June. And we continued there for preschool as his usual preschool did not reopen in September. It's amazing how much he appears to have regained his sense of purpose since returning.

Similar story here. Really happy we are doing preschool.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP is nuts. You do realize that it wasn't until very recently in society that we started sending kids under 6 to school at all, right?

Until K or 1st grade, the vast majority of kids in the vast majority of the world were at home with family the vast majority of the time. Some still are. This is...not a big deal, socially or developmentally speaking.

Kids at home til K in the past had at least some of the following: neighborhood friends, music/art/sports class, siblings, nearby extended family, playgrounds, events, holidays/birthdays with guests.

For 5 months, my young child had none of the above, just mom and dad. Not normal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP is nuts. You do realize that it wasn't until very recently in society that we started sending kids under 6 to school at all, right?

Until K or 1st grade, the vast majority of kids in the vast majority of the world were at home with family the vast majority of the time. Some still are. This is...not a big deal, socially or developmentally speaking.

Kids at home til K in the past had at least some of the following: neighborhood friends, music/art/sports class, siblings, nearby extended family, playgrounds, events, holidays/birthdays with guests.

For 5 months, my young child had none of the above, just mom and dad. Not normal.

Music, arts, and sports for preschoolers are a pretty new idea. Historically many families lived in rural areas without neighborhood friends and every one of those families that didn’t have twins had an oldest child who at 3 or 4 didn’t have a sibling old enough to really play with, given that kids don’t move past parallel play until 3.5 or so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP is nuts. You do realize that it wasn't until very recently in society that we started sending kids under 6 to school at all, right?

Until K or 1st grade, the vast majority of kids in the vast majority of the world were at home with family the vast majority of the time. Some still are. This is...not a big deal, socially or developmentally speaking.

Kids at home til K in the past had at least some of the following: neighborhood friends, music/art/sports class, siblings, nearby extended family, playgrounds, events, holidays/birthdays with guests.

For 5 months, my young child had none of the above, just mom and dad. Not normal.

We are in a pandemic. Your child socializing wit you is just fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP is nuts. You do realize that it wasn't until very recently in society that we started sending kids under 6 to school at all, right?

Until K or 1st grade, the vast majority of kids in the vast majority of the world were at home with family the vast majority of the time. Some still are. This is...not a big deal, socially or developmentally speaking.

Kids at home til K in the past had at least some of the following: neighborhood friends, music/art/sports class, siblings, nearby extended family, playgrounds, events, holidays/birthdays with guests.

For 5 months, my young child had none of the above, just mom and dad. Not normal.

Music, arts, and sports for preschoolers are a pretty new idea. Historically many families lived in rural areas without neighborhood friends and every one of those families that didn’t have twins had an oldest child who at 3 or 4 didn’t have a sibling old enough to really play with, given that kids don’t move past parallel play until 3.5 or so.

This is just not true. Where do people get the idea that in “the olden days” everyone was a farmer or a homesteader? Nope, people have always congregated and formed social groups. Cities and towns are the norm, not isolated farmhouses (and on a truly isolated farm, there would be tons of kids from the numerous families who lived on and worked the farm). Raising kids has also historically been a social activity shared among relatives, neighbors, and other community members. How do you all think children survived all these wars and famines you keep referring to? Through community.

What is ahistorical is nuclear families living far from relatives and isolated from their neighbors and communities. It is atypical for communities in crisis to ignore the needs of children in favor of hedonistic activities and raising capital— this runs counter to the human impulse to protect children for the sake of society. It’s weird. What is wrong with us?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP is nuts. You do realize that it wasn't until very recently in society that we started sending kids under 6 to school at all, right?

Until K or 1st grade, the vast majority of kids in the vast majority of the world were at home with family the vast majority of the time. Some still are. This is...not a big deal, socially or developmentally speaking.

Kids at home til K in the past had at least some of the following: neighborhood friends, music/art/sports class, siblings, nearby extended family, playgrounds, events, holidays/birthdays with guests.

For 5 months, my young child had none of the above, just mom and dad. Not normal.

Music, arts, and sports for preschoolers are a pretty new idea. Historically many families lived in rural areas without neighborhood friends and every one of those families that didn’t have twins had an oldest child who at 3 or 4 didn’t have a sibling old enough to really play with, given that kids don’t move past parallel play until 3.5 or so.

This is just not true. Where do people get the idea that in “the olden days” everyone was a farmer or a homesteader? Nope, people have always congregated and formed social groups. Cities and towns are the norm, not isolated farmhouses (and on a truly isolated farm, there would be tons of kids from the numerous families who lived on and worked the farm). Raising kids has also historically been a social activity shared among relatives, neighbors, and other community members. How do you all think children survived all these wars and famines you keep referring to? Through community.

What is ahistorical is nuclear families living far from relatives and isolated from their neighbors and communities. It is atypical for communities in crisis to ignore the needs of children in favor of hedonistic activities and raising capital— this runs counter to the human impulse to protect children for the sake of society. It’s weird. What is wrong with us?

I have not referred to any wars or famines.

I also didn’t say all or most families lived rurally but plenty of kids today and in the past have lived without neighborhood friends. And plenty of farmers had farms where they either farmed alone, or with the help of others who traveled to them by day, or were single, or didn’t happen to have preschoolers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just my opinion. So many little kids i know with parents who tend to be the anxious type are listless, cranky, acting out.

Little kids don't have the skills to say, I'm lonely I miss my friends. They cant control anything. They don't even get online connection. For them in person is the only real thing.

I think we're seeing mass child abuse especially of age 3-5.

If they’re so isolated, how do you know “so many” of them are listless, cranky, and acting out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP is nuts. You do realize that it wasn't until very recently in society that we started sending kids under 6 to school at all, right?

Until K or 1st grade, the vast majority of kids in the vast majority of the world were at home with family the vast majority of the time. Some still are. This is...not a big deal, socially or developmentally speaking.

Kids at home til K in the past had at least some of the following: neighborhood friends, music/art/sports class, siblings, nearby extended family, playgrounds, events, holidays/birthdays with guests.

For 5 months, my young child had none of the above, just mom and dad. Not normal.

Music, arts, and sports for preschoolers are a pretty new idea. Historically many families lived in rural areas without neighborhood friends and every one of those families that didn’t have twins had an oldest child who at 3 or 4 didn’t have a sibling old enough to really play with, given that kids don’t move past parallel play until 3.5 or so.

This is just not true. Where do people get the idea that in “the olden days” everyone was a farmer or a homesteader? Nope, people have always congregated and formed social groups. Cities and towns are the norm, not isolated farmhouses (and on a truly isolated farm, there would be tons of kids from the numerous families who lived on and worked the farm). Raising kids has also historically been a social activity shared among relatives, neighbors, and other community members. How do you all think children survived all these wars and famines you keep referring to? Through community.

What is ahistorical is nuclear families living far from relatives and isolated from their neighbors and communities. It is atypical for communities in crisis to ignore the needs of children in favor of hedonistic activities and raising capital— this runs counter to the human impulse to protect children for the sake of society. It’s weird. What is wrong with us?

I have not referred to any wars or famines.

I also didn’t say all or most families lived rurally but plenty of kids today and in the past have lived without neighborhood friends. And plenty of farmers had farms where they either farmed alone, or with the help of others who traveled to them by day, or were single, or didn’t happen to have preschoolers.

My dad grew up on a farm. He was the oldest. Didn't get a brother until he was 10. He mucked around the farm, helped my grandfather with farm work. Yes he went to school but it was a one room school with maybe 3 other kids his grade, he saw his cousins sometimes but mostly it was the family at the farm. They went to town for the afternoon on Sundays, that was the big outing. Had to get home to milk by evening. He's 90 now and crushing the pandemic at home with my mom. In his words "I know hardship. This is not hardship."