Complete isolation of small children is abusive

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You do realize that for much of history before the industrial revolution families were often isolated on farms far away from other families? Those kids survived.

But they had many more kids and generally larger families under 1 roof. What do you do with 2 parents teleworking and a single child?

You have another baby! Preferably twins!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In addition to the fear mongering, OP's post also overlooks the kids who LIKE being at home. Some kids don't need constant social interaction. Some kids have been so over scheduled that this down time might actually be good for them. It's important to understand the kid(s) you have and find a balance that works for everyone during this pandemic.

3-5 year olds? No. There’s a difference between letting your kid have down time, and not being able to attend to them for hours at a time while working.

No one said anything about leaving young kids home for hours unattended. And plenty of young kids are over scheduled. When my DS was in PK4 and K, there were kids in his class who had after school activities every single day: piano, soccer, swim, dance, karate, etc. They were constantly being shuttled around here and there. My DS has always been content to play at home or outside by himself, even as a young kid. He's pretty introverted and was never the type to play with kids he didn't know at the park. Every kid is different and making sweeping generalizations like OP did isn't helpful.

um yes we are talking about leaving kids unattended for hours. because we have JOBS. Not dangerously unattended (hopefully) but basically no attention other than the minimum. it’s not good for anyone, especially only children.

If you’re working, and leaving your ages 3-5 year old kids to fend for themselves (the age range this thread is about), then yes that is abusive. They are too young to be without superviskon for hours at a time. Daycares are open so not sure why you aren’t using them. What did you do pre covid when you worked? Continue doing that same thing.

Way to miss the point. Parents who can’t afford daycare or fear the risks are left trying to cobble together a day where they can get their work done and keep their kids alive. The resulting situation is not good for kids mental health. My son is 8 so too old for daycare and old enough not to need constant oversight — and the isolation this summer was really unhealthy.

Ok. But this thread is about children under age 5, and this previous poster was stating she had to work all day. So my point was- why did she stop the child care??? If she is still working full time I’m assuming it’s not finances since presumably she wasn’t bringing her young child to work with her pre covid

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In addition to the fear mongering, OP's post also overlooks the kids who LIKE being at home. Some kids don't need constant social interaction. Some kids have been so over scheduled that this down time might actually be good for them. It's important to understand the kid(s) you have and find a balance that works for everyone during this pandemic.

3-5 year olds? No. There’s a difference between letting your kid have down time, and not being able to attend to them for hours at a time while working.

No one said anything about leaving young kids home for hours unattended. And plenty of young kids are over scheduled. When my DS was in PK4 and K, there were kids in his class who had after school activities every single day: piano, soccer, swim, dance, karate, etc. They were constantly being shuttled around here and there. My DS has always been content to play at home or outside by himself, even as a young kid. He's pretty introverted and was never the type to play with kids he didn't know at the park. Every kid is different and making sweeping generalizations like OP did isn't helpful.

um yes we are talking about leaving kids unattended for hours. because we have JOBS. Not dangerously unattended (hopefully) but basically no attention other than the minimum. it’s not good for anyone, especially only children.

If you’re working, and leaving your ages 3-5 year old kids to fend for themselves (the age range this thread is about), then yes that is abusive. They are too young to be without superviskon for hours at a time. Daycares are open so not sure why you aren’t using them. What did you do pre covid when you worked? Continue doing that same thing.

Uh, before Covid, my 5 year old went school. Duh.

Also, a 3-5 year old can absolutely entertain themself for a couple hours. Maybe not ever single one, but most. My kid stopped napping when she was 2, so she's been doing "quiet time", which is basically just solo play for years in the afternoon. She selects a couple activities and then stays in her room doing them for about two hours a day. It's good for her to get a break from other people and have time to process her day. I often hear her playacting things that happened earlier in the day with her stuffed animals -- she's using that alone time to work through some stuff on her own, making connections and figuring out she's feeling without a parent or nanny hovering over her. The idea that a 3-5 year old needs intense supervision 100% of the time is absurd.

So your 5 year old went to full turn school last year at age 4? I’m assuming this was a preschool? And why can’t they still be there?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You do realize that for much of history before the industrial revolution families were often isolated on farms far away from other families? Those kids survived.

But they had many more kids and generally larger families under 1 roof. What do you do with 2 parents teleworking and a single child?

I grew up in a context that a lot of DCUMers would consider antiquated - in the countryside, with only my sibling for company. If you think my parents were hanging out engaging with the two of us, then you have no idea the amount of work it takes to keep up a working farm. I am so much more available for my kids as a teleworking parent than my own parent were with working outdoors, plus keeping up the fenceline, plus canning and jarring, plus livestock.

I'm not traumatized by my childhood, despite having no other kids for miles around. I wouldn't recreate it for my own kids, but that's more due to my lack of desire to work as hard as my folks did.

This is what I don't understand, it was fairly common for parents to be working or ignoring the kids, for a child to play alone, in the past. Sometimes outside all day, alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You do realize that for much of history before the industrial revolution families were often isolated on farms far away from other families? Those kids survived.

My kid was at home with just me until he was 4 when he went to preschool twice mornings a week. He "survived."

were you also working 8-10 hrs a day during that time?

If you’re working 8-10 hours a day and have preschoolers .... put them back in the damn preschool!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just my opinion. So many little kids i know with parents who tend to be the anxious type are listless, cranky, acting out.

Little kids don't have the skills to say, I'm lonely I miss my friends. They cant control anything. They don't even get online connection. For them in person is the only real thing.

I think we're seeing mass child abuse especially of age 3-5.

Yes, if you know a child who is not seeing anyone during the pandemic, that is abuse. On the other hand, if they are seeing their parents they obviously aren’t isolated. Which is it?

Parents are not enough at ages 3-5.

With involved engaged parents, its more than plenty. The issue is most parents don't want to sit down and play and engage and teach their kids.

FFS WE ARE WORKING!!! not sure why this is hard to understand

It is somewhat hard to understand, since child care for babies and toddlers is widely available

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just my opinion. So many little kids i know with parents who tend to be the anxious type are listless, cranky, acting out.

Little kids don't have the skills to say, I'm lonely I miss my friends. They cant control anything. They don't even get online connection. For them in person is the only real thing.

I think we're seeing mass child abuse especially of age 3-5.

Yes, if you know a child who is not seeing anyone during the pandemic, that is abuse. On the other hand, if they are seeing their parents they obviously aren’t isolated. Which is it?

Parents are not enough at ages 3-5.

With involved engaged parents, its more than plenty. The issue is most parents don't want to sit down and play and engage and teach their kids.

FFS WE ARE WORKING!!! not sure why this is hard to understand

It is somewhat hard to understand, since child care for babies and toddlers is widely available

No, it isn’t. There have been multiple stories in the local news about daycare shortages due to centers and in-homes remaining closed. They didn’t all just magically reopen this summer, and many people can’t afford a nanny.
Infant daycare is particularly problematic right now. It was an issue before covid, and the pandemic has just exacerbated the problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just my opinion. So many little kids i know with parents who tend to be the anxious type are listless, cranky, acting out.

Little kids don't have the skills to say, I'm lonely I miss my friends. They cant control anything. They don't even get online connection. For them in person is the only real thing.

I think we're seeing mass child abuse especially of age 3-5.

Yes, if you know a child who is not seeing anyone during the pandemic, that is abuse. On the other hand, if they are seeing their parents they obviously aren’t isolated. Which is it?

Parents are not enough at ages 3-5.

With involved engaged parents, its more than plenty. The issue is most parents don't want to sit down and play and engage and teach their kids.

FFS WE ARE WORKING!!! not sure why this is hard to understand

It is somewhat hard to understand, since child care for babies and toddlers is widely available

No, it isn’t. There have been multiple stories in the local news about daycare shortages due to centers and in-homes remaining closed. They didn’t all just magically reopen this summer, and many people can’t afford a nanny.
Infant daycare is particularly problematic right now. It was an issue before covid, and the pandemic has just exacerbated the problem.

Really!? In my area daycares are recruiting kids like crazy. (Baltimore suburb)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You do realize that for much of history before the industrial revolution families were often isolated on farms far away from other families? Those kids survived.

But they had many more kids and generally larger families under 1 roof. What do you do with 2 parents teleworking and a single child?

You have another baby! Preferably twins!

And then you have a couple more...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You do realize that for much of history before the industrial revolution families were often isolated on farms far away from other families? Those kids survived.

But they had many more kids and generally larger families under 1 roof. What do you do with 2 parents teleworking and a single child?

I grew up in a context that a lot of DCUMers would consider antiquated - in the countryside, with only my sibling for company. If you think my parents were hanging out engaging with the two of us, then you have no idea the amount of work it takes to keep up a working farm. I am so much more available for my kids as a teleworking parent than my own parent were with working outdoors, plus keeping up the fenceline, plus canning and jarring, plus livestock.

I'm not traumatized by my childhood, despite having no other kids for miles around. I wouldn't recreate it for my own kids, but that's more due to my lack of desire to work as hard as my folks did.

This is what I don't understand, it was fairly common for parents to be working or ignoring the kids, for a child to play alone, in the past. Sometimes outside all day, alone.

Not 3 year olds.

[Anonymous]

I dunno. My 3 year old seems to be pretty happy. There is an older sibling to play with and we try to do a play date with one other family once a week. She gets hikes, free play, several online classes... helps with gardening, cooking, chores. Strong sense of family identity is emotionally stabilizing at this age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Failing to protect children from a pandemic infection is child abuse.

Children are pretty much immune to the negative effects of this virus.

[Anonymous]

The kids are okay, OP. Seriously. You are the one that needs help.

[Anonymous]

My 5.5 and 1.5 are pretty happy and actually thriving with all the parental attention. I do think the 5.5 would benefit from seeing more friends more often (he sees school friends for about an hour a week) but we can get through this. Our ancestors went through much worse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In addition to the fear mongering, OP's post also overlooks the kids who LIKE being at home. Some kids don't need constant social interaction. Some kids have been so over scheduled that this down time might actually be good for them. It's important to understand the kid(s) you have and find a balance that works for everyone during this pandemic.

3-5 year olds? No. There’s a difference between letting your kid have down time, and not being able to attend to them for hours at a time while working.

No one said anything about leaving young kids home for hours unattended. And plenty of young kids are over scheduled. When my DS was in PK4 and K, there were kids in his class who had after school activities every single day: piano, soccer, swim, dance, karate, etc. They were constantly being shuttled around here and there. My DS has always been content to play at home or outside by himself, even as a young kid. He's pretty introverted and was never the type to play with kids he didn't know at the park. Every kid is different and making sweeping generalizations like OP did isn't helpful.

um yes we are talking about leaving kids unattended for hours. because we have JOBS. Not dangerously unattended (hopefully) but basically no attention other than the minimum. it’s not good for anyone, especially only children.

If you’re working, and leaving your ages 3-5 year old kids to fend for themselves (the age range this thread is about), then yes that is abusive. They are too young to be without superviskon for hours at a time. Daycares are open so not sure why you aren’t using them. What did you do pre covid when you worked? Continue doing that same thing.

Uh, before Covid, my 5 year old went school. Duh.

Also, a 3-5 year old can absolutely entertain themself for a couple hours. Maybe not ever single one, but most. My kid stopped napping when she was 2, so she's been doing "quiet time", which is basically just solo play for years in the afternoon. She selects a couple activities and then stays in her room doing them for about two hours a day. It's good for her to get a break from other people and have time to process her day. I often hear her playacting things that happened earlier in the day with her stuffed animals -- she's using that alone time to work through some stuff on her own, making connections and figuring out she's feeling without a parent or nanny hovering over her. The idea that a 3-5 year old needs intense supervision 100% of the time is absurd.

So your 5 year old went to full turn school last year at age 4? I’m assuming this was a preschool? And why can’t they still be there?

Yes, full-time PK4, in DC, where we live. Through the public school system. And they can't still be there because it is closed, as is Kindergarten, the grade my child is currently in. And no, I cannot afford full-time private school for my child, and even if I could, most of those are still closed because the public schools are closed and everyone is afraid to do anything different than the publics for liability reasons.