DH slapping butts of DD 15 and DD 20

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. When they’re walking by. He’s always been like this but at their ages I think it’s weird. It would have made me uncomfortable if my Dad did this.

But your children are not you and they don't have the relationship with their father that you had with yours. I would tell each of them when you're alone, "You know, if Dad slapping you on the butt bothers you, you can tell him to stop doing it. I'll back you up." And then just let it be. They are both old enough to speak up if it's a problem FOR THEM.

They have been conditioned to have poor boundaries so I would assume they wouldn't speak up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. When they’re walking by. He’s always been like this but at their ages I think it’s weird. It would have made me uncomfortable if my Dad did this.

Does it make your daughters uncomfortable? They are not you.

I smack my boys' butts. Oldest is 12, though. I tell them it's time for a spanking because I don't like how tall they are getting when I walk by. They giggle. It's not a big deal. But, they are not 15 year old girls so it's different.

Yes it''s weird, and so is this. Being their parent doesn't give you the right to touch them any kind of way. Now I don't think abusive oe anything like that. Just weird.

But OP your kids are 15 and 20, well past the time to have said anything. How did this go on for so long?

Why would you assume they mind, though? If they don’t mind, what is the problem? I don’t know about OP’s kids, but my kids are very vocal when there is something they do not like.

+1, your rear is very different than other areas as a private part. Its not that big of a deal. If he were touching other areas I would be concerned.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. When they’re walking by. He’s always been like this but at their ages I think it’s weird. It would have made me uncomfortable if my Dad did this.

Does it make your daughters uncomfortable? They are not you.

I smack my boys' butts. Oldest is 12, though. I tell them it's time for a spanking because I don't like how tall they are getting when I walk by. They giggle. It's not a big deal. But, they are not 15 year old girls so it's different.

Yes it''s weird, and so is this. Being their parent doesn't give you the right to touch them any kind of way. Now I don't think abusive oe anything like that. Just weird.

But OP your kids are 15 and 20, well past the time to have said anything. How did this go on for so long?

Some families are more playful than others.

And some families and parents are weird. Yours is weird.

Yours is weird for not being affectionate. Mine have gotten more affectionate as they have gotten older and I'm not going to push them away because you think its weird. I feel bad for your kids. My parents were not very affectionate and my sibling reflects it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. When they’re walking by. He’s always been like this but at their ages I think it’s weird. It would have made me uncomfortable if my Dad did this.

Does it make your daughters uncomfortable? They are not you.

I smack my boys' butts. Oldest is 12, though. I tell them it's time for a spanking because I don't like how tall they are getting when I walk by. They giggle. It's not a big deal. But, they are not 15 year old girls so it's different.

Yes it''s weird, and so is this. Being their parent doesn't give you the right to touch them any kind of way. Now I don't think abusive oe anything like that. Just weird.

But OP your kids are 15 and 20, well past the time to have said anything. How did this go on for so long?

Some families are more playful than others.

And some families and parents are weird. Yours is weird.

Yours is weird for not being affectionate. Mine have gotten more affectionate as they have gotten older and I'm not going to push them away because you think its weird. I feel bad for your kids. My parents were not very affectionate and my sibling reflects it.

There are plenty of appropriate ways to be affectionate. Slapping butts is not one of them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. When they’re walking by. He’s always been like this but at their ages I think it’s weird. It would have made me uncomfortable if my Dad did this.

But your children are not you and they don't have the relationship with their father that you had with yours. I would tell each of them when you're alone, "You know, if Dad slapping you on the butt bothers you, you can tell him to stop doing it. I'll back you up." And then just let it be. They are both old enough to speak up if it's a problem FOR THEM.

They have been conditioned to have poor boundaries so I would assume they wouldn't speak up.

This. You already confronted your husband about the awkwardness and it went nowhere. You need ask your girls how they feel about it. If it makes them uncomfortable then tell them they definitely need to say something. They also need to learn to speak up for themselves or they will continue to put themselves in potential vulnerable positions. Personally, I think it is inappropriate once kids hit the teen years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. When they’re walking by. He’s always been like this but at their ages I think it’s weird. It would have made me uncomfortable if my Dad did this.

Does it make your daughters uncomfortable? They are not you.

I smack my boys' butts. Oldest is 12, though. I tell them it's time for a spanking because I don't like how tall they are getting when I walk by. They giggle. It's not a big deal. But, they are not 15 year old girls so it's different.

Yes it''s weird, and so is this. Being their parent doesn't give you the right to touch them any kind of way. Now I don't think abusive oe anything like that. Just weird.

But OP your kids are 15 and 20, well past the time to have said anything. How did this go on for so long?

Some families are more playful than others.

And some families and parents are weird. Yours is weird.

Yours is weird for not being affectionate. Mine have gotten more affectionate as they have gotten older and I'm not going to push them away because you think its weird. I feel bad for your kids. My parents were not very affectionate and my sibling reflects it.

It shows that your parents weren't affectionate, because you think butt slapping is the only way to be affectionate. I feel sorry for you.

[Anonymous]

Your husband is a creepy, gaslighting d-hole. In what other ways has he tried to turn his screwed up behavior around onto you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think this is highly inappropriate. Am I crazy? He’s telling me I have the one with issues and am looking for problems.

This is a huge huge issue. If my spouse brought up a concern I would hear them out not call them crazy and accuse them of having problems.

People keep saying if his daughters were bothered they'd ask him to stop. Look how he responds to his wife!

He'd probably be like many of you " Lighten up it' just teasing and playful affection." " Lighten up I'm your dad."

[Anonymous]

The pearl clutching on here is beyond hilarious.

[Anonymous]

Since when is butt slapping affectionate? I’m honestly not connecting that with positive physical contact at all?

[Anonymous]

My dad did this to me basically until I left for college. It made me uncomfortable and he acted like I was some kind of pervert when I asked him to stop. PLEASE step in if you think it is making your daughters uncomfortable. I can almost guarantee you that it is, but they don't want to hurt their dad.

[Anonymous]

They are probably too weirded out to ask their dad to stop. It's creepy and I am sure their friends have pointed that out to them. Is he still going to slap their butts when they bring home a significant other?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My dad did this to me basically until I left for college. It made me uncomfortable and he acted like I was some kind of pervert when I asked him to stop. PLEASE step in if you think it is making your daughters uncomfortable. I can almost guarantee you that it is, but they don't want to hurt their dad.

+1 me too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My dad did this to me basically until I left for college. It made me uncomfortable and he acted like I was some kind of pervert when I asked him to stop. PLEASE step in if you think it is making your daughters uncomfortable. I can almost guarantee you that it is, but they don't want to hurt their dad.

+1 me too.

I didn't mind being slapped on the butt though I hated getting poked in the side.

[Anonymous]

This is gross.