My sister feels ugly next to me

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You don't have to tell her about her plastic surgery. You DO have to tell her that there will ALWAYS be someone prettier than she is, and uglier than she is. There'll always be someone richer and someone more poor, someone smarter and someone dumber. And she needs to work on her own self esteem to: value herself more than just how she looks, and to stop comparing herself to others.

+1 EXACTLY

Except that I don't think OP is the right messenger. Someone who had cosmetic surgery is not really in a position to be lecturing others about valuing themselves just as they are, accepting that others are prettier, having good self-esteem, etc.

At a minimum, stop lying to her about how you "grew into" your looks. If she's in her 20s or 30s, that isn't going to happen anyway, but it's worse that you are lying. If you won't tell her that you had work done, just stop talking to her about this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell her. What’s wrong with you?

Exactly!

What in the f#ck is wrong with you, OP??
It seems that your ego is more important to you than your sister's mental health, confidence and self esteem is.

Omf, what is wrong with you, OP??
JUST TELL HER!

Who. Cares. If. She. Tells. Anyone.???
If you're over the age of 30, you really shouldn't give a sh!t about what other people think & you definitely shouldn't care about who knows, period.

The fact of the matter is, plastic surgery made you feel better about yourself, it raised your self esteem and gave you greater confidence, and guess what? There's absolutely NOTHING wrong with it and there's no shame in it.

Whatever makes you feel better about yourself is totslly fine by me... and you know what? It's totally fine with the millions of other people that understand this too!

It's extremly immature and irrational of you to STILL worry about who knows about this and who doesn't.
We're in the middle of a pandemic here, don't you have bigger sh!t to worry about than who's "potentially" judging you?

Why would you waste even a millisecond of your life worrying about something as inconsequential as who knows you've had plastic surgery done??

I guarantee you that nobody will care what you've had done (with the one exception to that being your sister, of course) because worrying about such silly nonsense is extremly immature & shallow.

Personally, I feel the greater offense is that you've been lying to her all these years
You've repeatedly told her not to worry, because she too will grow into her looks... just like you did.

The problem with that sentiment is that it's a LIE.

You've repeatedly fed her this delusion & continued to fill her head with lies, knowing all along that there's was absolutely a ZERO chance in hell that this could happen to her, because it never even happened to you!

Why would you set her up for such a big disappointment?

Why would you keep a lie going for so long?

Is your ego so fragile that you'd resort to lying, (therefore risking her self esteem & self confidence in the process) just so you wouldn't have to fess up that you're not the natural beauty she thinks you are?

Sounds a bit narcissistic.

Stop making this about you OP, it's about your sister!
I know this will be difficult, but maybe try thinking about what's best for her for a change and not what's best for you... tell her the TRUTH.

Just apologize profusely for being dishonest with her for so long, and then...
offer to pay for those same procedures that you had for her! You owe it to her.

I imagine that she won't be upset with you for lying, IF she knows that she'll end up looking like you AND that you're paying for it, as well.

Holy post, Batman. You seem strangely invested in this.

I use this phrase as well. Funny to read it from someone else. And I agree, that PP is nuts.

[Anonymous]

Doesn't she have pictures of you from before the plastic surgery and wonder why you look so different?

FWIW, I have a younger sister who is really beautiful and way prettier than I am. She hasn't had work done but it wouldn't make a difference if she had. Either way she is more attractive than I am. And it doesn't bother me, it's just a fact.

[Anonymous]

If you are embarrassed about the plastic surgery, you shouldn't have done it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell her. What’s wrong with you?

This. It's cruel to keep it from her. Maybe get work done on your character, OP.

^100%

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a sister who is 8 years younger than me. She is cute but often compares herself to the way I look and wonders why she doesn’t look as conventionally beautiful. Thing is, she doesn’t know that I had work done on my face (she was young when I got it done and parents are dead so no one there to tell her how different I look). I’ve been deflecting and telling her she is gorgeous and will grow into her looks like I did, but I wonder if this is unfair to her. I really don’t want to tell her about the work done though because she is not good at keeping a secret. But I also care a lot about her and don’t want her to think of herself as the less attractive sister. How should I deal with this?

You are straight up lying--you didn't "grow into" anything. You bought and paid for your looks. Too bad you didn't buy some character...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a sister who is 8 years younger than me. She is cute but often compares herself to the way I look and wonders why she doesn’t look as conventionally beautiful. Thing is, she doesn’t know that I had work done on my face (she was young when I got it done and parents are dead so no one there to tell her how different I look). I’ve been deflecting and telling her she is gorgeous and will grow into her looks like I did, but I wonder if this is unfair to her. I really don’t want to tell her about the work done though because she is not good at keeping a secret. But I also care a lot about her and don’t want her to think of herself as the less attractive sister. How should I deal with this?

You are straight up lying--you didn't "grow into" anything. You bought and paid for your looks. Too bad you didn't buy some character...

Really? We all pay for our looks. My lips look luscious and kissable because of the lipstick I buy and use. My hair looks soft and shiny because of the conditioner I buy and use. My thighs look tight and taut because of the treadmill we bought and installed in the basement. I haven't had any cosmetic surgery but I have no quibbles with someone who has. It isn't about "character."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a sister who is 8 years younger than me. She is cute but often compares herself to the way I look and wonders why she doesn’t look as conventionally beautiful. Thing is, she doesn’t know that I had work done on my face (she was young when I got it done and parents are dead so no one there to tell her how different I look). I’ve been deflecting and telling her she is gorgeous and will grow into her looks like I did, but I wonder if this is unfair to her. I really don’t want to tell her about the work done though because she is not good at keeping a secret. But I also care a lot about her and don’t want her to think of herself as the less attractive sister. How should I deal with this?

You are straight up lying--you didn't "grow into" anything. You bought and paid for your looks. Too bad you didn't buy some character...

Really? We all pay for our looks. My lips look luscious and kissable because of the lipstick I buy and use. My hair looks soft and shiny because of the conditioner I buy and use. My thighs look tight and taut because of the treadmill we bought and installed in the basement. I haven't had any cosmetic surgery but I have no quibbles with someone who has. It isn't about "character."

Please stop. Not the same and you know it, PP. The OP said she had "work done" on her face--that does not sound like she just bought a new shade of lipstick

[Anonymous]

Wouldn't she have seen family photos?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a sister who is 8 years younger than me. She is cute but often compares herself to the way I look and wonders why she doesn’t look as conventionally beautiful. Thing is, she doesn’t know that I had work done on my face (she was young when I got it done and parents are dead so no one there to tell her how different I look). I’ve been deflecting and telling her she is gorgeous and will grow into her looks like I did, but I wonder if this is unfair to her. I really don’t want to tell her about the work done though because she is not good at keeping a secret. But I also care a lot about her and don’t want her to think of herself as the less attractive sister. How should I deal with this?

You are straight up lying--you didn't "grow into" anything. You bought and paid for your looks. Too bad you didn't buy some character...

Really? We all pay for our looks. My lips look luscious and kissable because of the lipstick I buy and use. My hair looks soft and shiny because of the conditioner I buy and use. My thighs look tight and taut because of the treadmill we bought and installed in the basement. I haven't had any cosmetic surgery but I have no quibbles with someone who has. It isn't about "character."

Please stop. Not the same and you know it, PP. The OP said she had "work done" on her face--that does not sound like she just bought a new shade of lipstick

Lipstick or botox or nose job all equal the same thing to me. There is no difference and you're deluding yourself if you believe there is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a sister who is 8 years younger than me. She is cute but often compares herself to the way I look and wonders why she doesn’t look as conventionally beautiful. Thing is, she doesn’t know that I had work done on my face (she was young when I got it done and parents are dead so no one there to tell her how different I look). I’ve been deflecting and telling her she is gorgeous and will grow into her looks like I did, but I wonder if this is unfair to her. I really don’t want to tell her about the work done though because she is not good at keeping a secret. But I also care a lot about her and don’t want her to think of herself as the less attractive sister. How should I deal with this?

You are straight up lying--you didn't "grow into" anything. You bought and paid for your looks. Too bad you didn't buy some character...

Really? We all pay for our looks. My lips look luscious and kissable because of the lipstick I buy and use. My hair looks soft and shiny because of the conditioner I buy and use. My thighs look tight and taut because of the treadmill we bought and installed in the basement. I haven't had any cosmetic surgery but I have no quibbles with someone who has. It isn't about "character."

Please stop. Not the same and you know it, PP. The OP said she had "work done" on her face--that does not sound like she just bought a new shade of lipstick

Lipstick or botox or nose job all equal the same thing to me. There is no difference and you're deluding yourself if you believe there is.

You think lip stick and a nose job are the same in terms of enhancing your looks? That’s nonsense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a sister who is 8 years younger than me. She is cute but often compares herself to the way I look and wonders why she doesn’t look as conventionally beautiful. Thing is, she doesn’t know that I had work done on my face (she was young when I got it done and parents are dead so no one there to tell her how different I look). I’ve been deflecting and telling her she is gorgeous and will grow into her looks like I did, but I wonder if this is unfair to her. I really don’t want to tell her about the work done though because she is not good at keeping a secret. But I also care a lot about her and don’t want her to think of herself as the less attractive sister. How should I deal with this?

You are straight up lying--you didn't "grow into" anything. You bought and paid for your looks. Too bad you didn't buy some character...

Really? We all pay for our looks. My lips look luscious and kissable because of the lipstick I buy and use. My hair looks soft and shiny because of the conditioner I buy and use. My thighs look tight and taut because of the treadmill we bought and installed in the basement. I haven't had any cosmetic surgery but I have no quibbles with someone who has. It isn't about "character."

Please stop. Not the same and you know it, PP. The OP said she had "work done" on her face--that does not sound like she just bought a new shade of lipstick

Lipstick or botox or nose job all equal the same thing to me. There is no difference and you're deluding yourself if you believe there is.

Oh ok, lipstick is the SAME as an elective surgery to alter your appearance permanently. Go ahead and keep telling yourself that!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a sister who is 8 years younger than me. She is cute but often compares herself to the way I look and wonders why she doesn’t look as conventionally beautiful. Thing is, she doesn’t know that I had work done on my face (she was young when I got it done and parents are dead so no one there to tell her how different I look). I’ve been deflecting and telling her she is gorgeous and will grow into her looks like I did, but I wonder if this is unfair to her. I really don’t want to tell her about the work done though because she is not good at keeping a secret. But I also care a lot about her and don’t want her to think of herself as the less attractive sister. How should I deal with this?

You are straight up lying--you didn't "grow into" anything. You bought and paid for your looks. Too bad you didn't buy some character...

Really? We all pay for our looks. My lips look luscious and kissable because of the lipstick I buy and use. My hair looks soft and shiny because of the conditioner I buy and use. My thighs look tight and taut because of the treadmill we bought and installed in the basement. I haven't had any cosmetic surgery but I have no quibbles with someone who has. It isn't about "character."

Please stop. Not the same and you know it, PP. The OP said she had "work done" on her face--that does not sound like she just bought a new shade of lipstick

Lipstick or botox or nose job all equal the same thing to me. There is no difference and you're deluding yourself if you believe there is.

Delusional.

[Anonymous]

Troll meter 3/10

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You have to tell her. Make her swear to keep it a secret.

I would tell her if I thought she could keep it a secret but I know she wouldn’t be able to. She’s very much a millennial and not mature enough yet.

Why does this need to be a secret?

OP decided she doesn't wish to discuss it, that's why.

Well, then, OP is bizarrely self centered and more concerned with what other people think about her than caring about her own sisters feelings.

Yeah, and it obvious like there's a whole lot of sock puppeting going on in this thread in defense of the OP, making her even more unlikable.

secrets = sickness.