My sister feels ugly next to me
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Anonymous
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You should tell her.
She can decide for herself what to do with the knowledge. But telling her she will grow into her looks feels demeaning. |
Anonymous
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Why the secrecy? let alone from your own family.
Sounds like you guys have a messed up dynamic. |
Anonymous
It's not something I want the world to know. It's private. |
Anonymous
OP that's understandable. But she's eight years your junior, correct? Not even in your peer group? Short of posting it on social media, who would she tell that would matter, her boyfriend scooter? |
Anonymous
So you’re ashamed of your vanity and shallowness? |
Anonymous
And the condescending troll has arrived. |
Anonymous
I'm the PP who learned about someone else's plastic surgery through someone who is not a peer of mine. Mother to son, to daughter in law, to me and countless others. That is reality. And I'm pretty sure that the SIL was happy to tell anyone who would listen. It just has to get far enough down the line for it to spread like wildfire. |
Anonymous
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Does she have your 'before' face? That is the only way knowing (AND her being pro cosmetic surgery AND her having the money do do it) would help her. Don't tell her if she is a blabbermouth, but if she has fixable features, just reflect back to her that she sounds unhappy and state that cosmetic surgery is an option. If she would feel like her face would better match who she is with surgery she can address that.
Does she have no childhood photos of you? I mean I feel like maybe she DOES know, wants a referral and that is why she is stalking you on the topic. |
Anonymous
I disagree. I think it is cruel to tell her if she can't afford to have it done herself. DP. |
Anonymous
| Who gives a crap who knows! Trust me, your friends know even if you didn’t tell them. Women can see a fix from miles away. I had some work done and my MIL hinted to me that she saw something different about me and I said yeah and then she had some work done and thanked me. |
Anonymous
This. Wtf |
Anonymous
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Curious, what did you change OP ? Family nose / ears ? Or even more drastic : shape of your face ? (Thinking about the key inherited big facial traits that are completely changed by surgery)
Asking because the lesson for her may be quite different depending on how drastic the change is |
Anonymous
Exactly! What in the f#ck is wrong with you, OP?? It seems that your ego is more important to you than your sister's mental health, confidence and self esteem is. Omf, what is wrong with you, OP?? 
JUST TELL HER! Who. Cares. If. She. Tells. Anyone.??? If you're over the age of 30, you really shouldn't give a sh!t about what other people think & you definitely shouldn't care about who knows, period. The fact of the matter is, plastic surgery made you feel better about yourself, it raised your self esteem and gave you greater confidence, and guess what? There's absolutely NOTHING wrong with it and there's no shame in it. Whatever makes you feel better about yourself is totslly fine by me... and you know what? It's totally fine with the millions of other people that understand this too! It's extremly immature and irrational of you to STILL worry about who knows about this and who doesn't. We're in the middle of a pandemic here, don't you have bigger sh!t to worry about than who's "potentially" judging you? Why would you waste even a millisecond of your life worrying about something as inconsequential as who knows you've had plastic surgery done?? I guarantee you that nobody will care what you've had done (with the one exception to that being your sister, of course) because worrying about such silly nonsense is extremly immature & shallow. Personally, I feel the greater offense is that you've been lying to her all these years You've repeatedly told her not to worry, because she too will grow into her looks... just like you did. The problem with that sentiment is that it's a LIE. You've repeatedly fed her this delusion & continued to fill her head with lies, knowing all along that there's was absolutely a ZERO chance in hell that this could happen to her, because it never even happened to you! Why would you set her up for such a big disappointment? Why would you keep a lie going for so long? Is your ego so fragile that you'd resort to lying, (therefore risking her self esteem & self confidence in the process) just so you wouldn't have to fess up that you're not the natural beauty she thinks you are? Sounds a bit narcissistic. Stop making this about you OP, it's about your sister! I know this will be difficult, but maybe try thinking about what's best for her for a change and not what's best for you... tell her the TRUTH. Just apologize profusely for being dishonest with her for so long, and then... offer to pay for those same procedures that you had for her! You owe it to her. I imagine that she won't be upset with you for lying, IF she knows that she'll end up looking like you AND that you're paying for it, as well. |
Anonymous
Holy post, Batman. You seem strangely invested in this. |
Anonymous
| You should be honest, especially since you are not naturally beautiful and it seems to be hurting her self esteem. It could be a teaching moment, I don't think you have anything to be ashamed of, in fact, you should be able to relate to how she's feeling. Why are you trying to keep the work you've had done a secret? |