Husband leaves room to talk to MIL

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wait is OP the same nutjob who is convinced that once they are married everything is always the two of them. No relationships with family can exist unless both are included. She posted recently but maybe now has a username

I bet it is. And that she didnt like the answers she got on the other thread, so she's started a new one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

soexcited123 wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When my mom calls I usually leave the room unless I'm in the middle of a project that can only be done in that room (like if I'm cooking I stay in the kitchen). I figure my wife will find it easier to read, watch TV, listen to music, whatever else she was doing. If my mom called with a question that involves my my wife (like when we're free to get together) or something else my wife needs to know about right away, I'll come back out and tell her.

My wife calls her parents almost every day when walking to the metro. If I'm ready at the same time we'll both be there when she calls; if we walk separately I don't care if she talks to her parents without me. I trust her. If I'm bugging her and she wants to tell her parents that, it's ok with me, though I don't think that's what they spend most of their time discussing! Besides, if my wife were keeping a big secret from me, I doubt she'd tell her parents about it.

I guess it's a worry that my husband is confiding in his mom about an issue we are having in our marriage and I would rather him go to me about it or an unbiased party such as a counselor. I like to keep any issues between us. Yes before anyone asks I apply the same rule for myself as well. I don't confide in my parents or ask for advice about issues in our marriage

As a former MIL (my son has been divorced for five years) I can tell you what they are talking about: You.

You might think this is inappropriate or whatever but you know why he's doing it. There are issues in the marriage and much as you would wish he would just address them with you he has decided to confide in his mother and get counsel from her.

So, there you go. Good luck.

Well I mean if I was stuck married to OP id be complaining too.

[Anonymous]

I never leave the room when I talk to my parents.

BUT I speak to my parents in my native language and my husband only speaks English, so there’s that...

[Anonymous]

OP, you would only be hearing 1/2 of the conversation. Maybe you are quick to jump to conclusions? Like now! Or even if he sometimes need to stand up for you in conversations, it's better if you don't hear, and judge, and ease drop.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

soexcited123 wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When my mom calls I usually leave the room unless I'm in the middle of a project that can only be done in that room (like if I'm cooking I stay in the kitchen). I figure my wife will find it easier to read, watch TV, listen to music, whatever else she was doing. If my mom called with a question that involves my my wife (like when we're free to get together) or something else my wife needs to know about right away, I'll come back out and tell her.

My wife calls her parents almost every day when walking to the metro. If I'm ready at the same time we'll both be there when she calls; if we walk separately I don't care if she talks to her parents without me. I trust her. If I'm bugging her and she wants to tell her parents that, it's ok with me, though I don't think that's what they spend most of their time discussing! Besides, if my wife were keeping a big secret from me, I doubt she'd tell her parents about it.

I guess it's a worry that my husband is confiding in his mom about an issue we are having in our marriage and I would rather him go to me about it or an unbiased party such as a counselor. I like to keep any issues between us. Yes before anyone asks I apply the same rule for myself as well. I don't confide in my parents or ask for advice about issues in our marriage

As a former MIL (my son has been divorced for five years) I can tell you what they are talking about: You.

You might think this is inappropriate or whatever but you know why he's doing it. There are issues in the marriage and much as you would wish he would just address them with you he has decided to confide in his mother and get counsel from her.

So, there you go. Good luck.

+100

[Anonymous]

After reading all your whack a doo responses I think your husband is really talking to a divorce lawyer. Geez you do need to simmer down.

[soexcited123]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

soexcited123 wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When my mom calls I usually leave the room unless I'm in the middle of a project that can only be done in that room (like if I'm cooking I stay in the kitchen). I figure my wife will find it easier to read, watch TV, listen to music, whatever else she was doing. If my mom called with a question that involves my my wife (like when we're free to get together) or something else my wife needs to know about right away, I'll come back out and tell her.

My wife calls her parents almost every day when walking to the metro. If I'm ready at the same time we'll both be there when she calls; if we walk separately I don't care if she talks to her parents without me. I trust her. If I'm bugging her and she wants to tell her parents that, it's ok with me, though I don't think that's what they spend most of their time discussing! Besides, if my wife were keeping a big secret from me, I doubt she'd tell her parents about it.

I guess it's a worry that my husband is confiding in his mom about an issue we are having in our marriage and I would rather him go to me about it or an unbiased party such as a counselor. I like to keep any issues between us. Yes before anyone asks I apply the same rule for myself as well. I don't confide in my parents or ask for advice about issues in our marriage

As a former MIL (my son has been divorced for five years) I can tell you what they are talking about: You.

You might think this is inappropriate or whatever but you know why he's doing it. There are issues in the marriage and much as you would wish he would just address them with you he has decided to confide in his mother and get counsel from her.

So, there you go. Good luck.

Well I mean if I was stuck married to OP id be complaining too.

This is the first thread I made and honestly you don't find a problem if a married man is going to mommy to complain about his wife? Wouldn't a counselor be the best unbiased party for that? You read all the time it's best for married couples to not get family/friends involves in their issues. Maybe your ex DIL divorced your son because he went to mommy about their marital issues instead of his wife. I would divorce a man child to who went running to mommy with relationship issues. You sound like a peach of a MIL and your son sounds like a peach of a husband.

[soexcited123]

Anonymous wrote:

soexcited123 wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When my mom calls I usually leave the room unless I'm in the middle of a project that can only be done in that room (like if I'm cooking I stay in the kitchen). I figure my wife will find it easier to read, watch TV, listen to music, whatever else she was doing. If my mom called with a question that involves my my wife (like when we're free to get together) or something else my wife needs to know about right away, I'll come back out and tell her.

My wife calls her parents almost every day when walking to the metro. If I'm ready at the same time we'll both be there when she calls; if we walk separately I don't care if she talks to her parents without me. I trust her. If I'm bugging her and she wants to tell her parents that, it's ok with me, though I don't think that's what they spend most of their time discussing! Besides, if my wife were keeping a big secret from me, I doubt she'd tell her parents about it.

I guess it's a worry that my husband is confiding in his mom about an issue we are having in our marriage and I would rather him go to me about it or an unbiased party such as a counselor. I like to keep any issues between us. Yes before anyone asks I apply the same rule for myself as well. I don't confide in my parents or ask for advice about issues in our marriage

As a former MIL (my son has been divorced for five years) I can tell you what they are talking about: You.

You might think this is inappropriate or whatever but you know why he's doing it. There are issues in the marriage and much as you would wish he would just address them with you he has decided to confide in his mother and get counsel from her.

So, there you go. Good luck.

Also, I forgot to add you would sit there bad mouthing your DIL. How nice. Why didn't you tell your son he should be working it out with his wife. I can't believe you really think its acceptable for a grown man to ryn to mommy when he is having marital issues. Again what if his wife wishes to keep those issues private. Of course you are going to be biased towards your own son. How is that helpful for a marriage to go to a biased party. I am truly shocked how many people on here thinks its ok to run to parents when you're upset with your spouse.

[Anonymous]

OP, are you experiencing a manic episode?

[soexcited123]

Anonymous wrote:I always leave the room if I’m on a call with someone chatting (other than a quick logistics call). I think it is rude to the person I am in the room with to be on a phone call with someone else. I also think it is important that the person I am speaking with on the phone knows that they can speak with me about things without someone else hearing part of the conversation. With my parents, I want for them to be able to share questions with me and for me to be able to answer without them feeling that my kids or husband are listening. my mom used to ask me my thoughts on things that are pretty private to her, and I don’t think she would have if she thought there was someone standing next to me hearing my responses. Same thing with my dad these days.

What are some questions your parents might share that your spouse cant be privy to?

[soexcited123]

Anonymous wrote:OP, are you experiencing a manic episode?

Nope but literally one poster said she sat there complaining about her dil to her son and her son joined in on bad mouthing his wife and I can't get over that people find that acceptable. It doesn't seem like in that case the wide was the problem rather a grown man running to mommy about his marital issues and a MIL who was awful

[soexcited123]

soexcited123 wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

soexcited123 wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When my mom calls I usually leave the room unless I'm in the middle of a project that can only be done in that room (like if I'm cooking I stay in the kitchen). I figure my wife will find it easier to read, watch TV, listen to music, whatever else she was doing. If my mom called with a question that involves my my wife (like when we're free to get together) or something else my wife needs to know about right away, I'll come back out and tell her.

My wife calls her parents almost every day when walking to the metro. If I'm ready at the same time we'll both be there when she calls; if we walk separately I don't care if she talks to her parents without me. I trust her. If I'm bugging her and she wants to tell her parents that, it's ok with me, though I don't think that's what they spend most of their time discussing! Besides, if my wife were keeping a big secret from me, I doubt she'd tell her parents about it.

I guess it's a worry that my husband is confiding in his mom about an issue we are having in our marriage and I would rather him go to me about it or an unbiased party such as a counselor. I like to keep any issues between us. Yes before anyone asks I apply the same rule for myself as well. I don't confide in my parents or ask for advice about issues in our marriage

As a former MIL (my son has been divorced for five years) I can tell you what they are talking about: You.

You might think this is inappropriate or whatever but you know why he's doing it. There are issues in the marriage and much as you would wish he would just address them with you he has decided to confide in his mother and get counsel from her.

So, there you go. Good luck.

Also, I forgot to add you would sit there bad mouthing your DIL. How nice. Why didn't you tell your son he should be working it out with his wife. I can't believe you really think its acceptable for a grown man to ryn to mommy when he is having marital issues. Again what if his wife wishes to keep those issues private. Of course you are going to be biased towards your own son. How is that helpful for a marriage to go to a biased party. I am truly shocked how many people on here thinks its ok to run to parents when you're upset with your spouse.

Also you literally just proved my point by saying they are talking about me when that's originally what I was worried about. So yes they are hiding something. We are going to counseling btw

[Anonymous]

Don't you have anything else to do OP? You are not a part of this conversation or in it, why do you need him to be in the same room, that's so weird. It totally makes sense to go elsewhere, while you're on a phone unless it's a short call. I leave the room each time and my husband can't even understand my native language. Your husband is reasonable being polite to both of you.

[Anonymous]

I go in the other room when I get any phone call- a friend, my parents, siblings, etc. It is not so I can bad mouth DH. It's so he can continue peacefully doing whatever he is doing without listening to me tell stories about things he was there for. He does the same thing. Why would he want to listen to me tell my mom about how we spent our Saturday when he experienced it too? I also sometimes talk about sensitive subjects like my sibling with mental health issues. I tell my husband about her but I feel my mom deserves the respect of a private conversation first.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, are you experiencing a manic episode?