Husband leaves room to talk to MIL

[Anonymous]

soexcited123 wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

soexcited123 wrote:My husband and I have been married for 2 years now. We dated 8 years before that and lived together for 5 years. Each time his mother calls he leaves the room. I find that odd. I would totally get it if we had company over because it could be loud in that case but we don't have any children it's literally just me. My one friend thinks it could be that he wants to confide in private about something to his mom. But what would a grown man want to tell mommy that they couldn't tell their own wife? If his was telling his mom things about himself he couldn't tell his own wife I wouldnquestion his trust in me and I would think we would have communication issues. Help me figure this out because IMO you should be able to feel 1000% comfortable in front of your own spouse.

This is your typical inappropriate mother son relationship. Beware, OP, if you have your own son some day.

Yeah I pretty much told him it was weird he feels the need to keep convos between him and his mom secret. I feel a certain type of way.

His mother has been fostering this since he was born. He doesn't know anything else. This is not good for your marriage. You are basically is a three-way relationship. Do you have children?

[Anonymous]

I have children and step away to talk to my family as I can't otherwise do it uninterrupted. DH sometimes does the same, though we see his family a few times a week normally (without current situation) so he doesn't need to 'catch up' like I do on the phone.

I wouldn't care. I guess I would if there was drama between me and his family or if he was a momma's boy and he complained about me to her. Or I might just be relieved I didn't have to hear it/deal with her.

[Anonymous]

I think it's polite to leave the room. Basic manners.

[soexcited123]

It sounds like you have some boundary issues with your son. Also you say you wouldn't be thrilled with his wife. Well isn't what goes on in their marriage not your business. Also why wouldn't you wanna include your DIL in your conversations she is part of the family. I wouldn't be thrilled if I was your mil

[soexcited123]

Anonymous wrote:

soexcited123 wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

soexcited123 wrote:My husband and I have been married for 2 years now. We dated 8 years before that and lived together for 5 years. Each time his mother calls he leaves the room. I find that odd. I would totally get it if we had company over because it could be loud in that case but we don't have any children it's literally just me. My one friend thinks it could be that he wants to confide in private about something to his mom. But what would a grown man want to tell mommy that they couldn't tell their own wife? If his was telling his mom things about himself he couldn't tell his own wife I wouldnquestion his trust in me and I would think we would have communication issues. Help me figure this out because IMO you should be able to feel 1000% comfortable in front of your own spouse.

This is your typical inappropriate mother son relationship. Beware, OP, if you have your own son some day.

Yeah I pretty much told him it was weird he feels the need to keep convos between him and his mom secret. I feel a certain type of way.

His mother has been fostering this since he was born. He doesn't know anything else. This is not good for your marriage. You are basically is a three-way relationship. Do you have children?

No i don't have children. Im confused whose side are you on? I cant follow your posts.

[Anonymous]

I think it's respectful to leave the room if you are going to be a phone call. No one likes listening to 1/2 of a conversation and I'd rather read my book, do my work, watch TV in peace.

[Anonymous]

You sound incredibly insecure. Adults, even married ones, deserve privacy.

[soexcited123]

Anonymous wrote:I always leave the room when I’m talking to my mom. My DH doesn’t care. You sound a bit controlling and transparency is not always a good thing. Let your poor husband breath. I’m extremely close to my grown son and we talk everyday. I wouldn’t be too thrilled with his wife if she made him feel uncomfortable with this .

Well it sounds like you have some boundary issues with your son. Everydat how about taking your own advice and let your grown son breathe. Also you say you wouldn't be happy if your sons wife gave gim a hard time well what goes on in their marriage is not your business. Also why would transparency not be a good thing? Part of a marriage is being transparent. If my husband talked to his mom everyday I wohld feel like he didn't fully cut the cord. Also why wouldn't you wanna talk to your DIL? Isn't she family as well.

[Anonymous]

Of course he leaves the room. If you're in the phone you don't want to be interrupted and it's rude to be on the phone in front of others. I do that and dh does that. We share what we talk about with our parents and everyone is close but I don't need to be in the room for the conversation.

[soexcited123]

Anonymous wrote:I think it's respectful to leave the room if you are going to be a phone call. No one likes listening to 1/2 of a conversation and I'd rather read my book, do my work, watch TV in peace.

Privacy? What we he be talking to his mom about that he couldn't talk to me about. Call me crazy but yes I expect my husband to tell me everything and not hide things.

[Anonymous]

soexcited123 wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I always leave the room when I’m talking to my mom. My DH doesn’t care. You sound a bit controlling and transparency is not always a good thing. Let your poor husband breath. I’m extremely close to my grown son and we talk everyday. I wouldn’t be too thrilled with his wife if she made him feel uncomfortable with this .

Well it sounds like you have some boundary issues with your son. Everydat how about taking your own advice and let your grown son breathe. Also you say you wouldn't be happy if your sons wife gave gim a hard time well what goes on in their marriage is not your business. Also why would transparency not be a good thing? Part of a marriage is being transparent. If my husband talked to his mom everyday I wohld feel like he didn't fully cut the cord. Also why wouldn't you wanna talk to your DIL? Isn't she family as well.

Wow. You're.... interesting.

[Anonymous]

Why do you want to hear the phone call? We are mutually grateful that the other leaves the room for these calls. It's just polite.

[Anonymous]

soexcited123 wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's respectful to leave the room if you are going to be a phone call. No one likes listening to 1/2 of a conversation and I'd rather read my book, do my work, watch TV in peace.

Privacy? What we he be talking to his mom about that he couldn't talk to me about. Call me crazy but yes I expect my husband to tell me everything and not hide things.

It is rude to take a phone call in front of another person, no matter who it is.

[Anonymous]

It drives my husband crazy when I get on a call and don’t leave the room. I feel the same way. It’s a courtesy.

[Anonymous]

It's incredibly rude to have a conversation on the phone with someone else in the room, and it's beyond rude to listen in on someone's conversation. So most normal people leave the room when they're on the phone.

Marriage doesn't mean you cease to be able to have your own relationship with your family of origin. My husband has his relationship with his parents, I in turn have a separate, different relationship with them. He has his own relationship with my mother, I have mine. What he's not entitled to is MY relationship with my mother, which you seem to think is fair game after marriage. It's not.