Husband leaves room to talk to MIL

[soexcited123]

My husband and I have been married for 2 years now. We dated 8 years before that and lived together for 5 years. Each time his mother calls he leaves the room. I find that odd. I would totally get it if we had company over because it could be loud in that case but we don't have any children it's literally just me. My one friend thinks it could be that he wants to confide in private about something to his mom. But what would a grown man want to tell mommy that they couldn't tell their own wife? If his was telling his mom things about himself he couldn't tell his own wife I wouldnquestion his trust in me and I would think we would have communication issues. Help me figure this out because IMO you should be able to feel 1000% comfortable in front of your own spouse.

[Anonymous]

I don't like other people listening in on my calls either. Likely at some point you listened and then commented on things he said so he is aware you are critiquing his conversations. In your mind it was probably innocent but to him it felt invasive.

I would be annoyed if my husband felt he needed to hear all my calls and that I couldn't have nay privacy. That sounds pretty controlling to me.

[Anonymous]

My husband leaves the room when he talks to his parents. I do the same. We've been married 20 years. I don't think it's a big deal.

[Anonymous]

Growing up, I was always told it's rude to be on the phone when someone else is in the room.

Rude to the person in the room who is only hearing one side of a conversation/likely is doing something where they dont want to hear a one sided conversation

And rude to the person on the phone who may be unaware that someone is half listening in

I always leave the room when on a phone call.

[Anonymous]

I don’t like talking to my family when dh is in the room. Some privacy is a good thing.

[Anonymous]

What did he say when you asked him, OP?

[soexcited123]

But why do you guys feel weird about talking to your family in front of your own spouse? Again it's about being transparent in a relationship. If my husband told his family things he couldn't tell me that would be odd. To address the answer some people gave such as the other party not beinf aware other people can hear if someone is married I assume they are probably in the same room so I act accordingly. Not to mention if im married we are all family why would my in laws tells my husband something and expect him not to tell me? A little odd. When my dad's mom called growing up he never left the room because there weren't secrets and my mom spoke to her mil also. Shouldn't the husband be including his wife in his conversations with his mom after all its her family now too.

[Anonymous]

soexcited123 wrote:My husband and I have been married for 2 years now. We dated 8 years before that and lived together for 5 years. Each time his mother calls he leaves the room. I find that odd. I would totally get it if we had company over because it could be loud in that case but we don't have any children it's literally just me. My one friend thinks it could be that he wants to confide in private about something to his mom. But what would a grown man want to tell mommy that they couldn't tell their own wife? If his was telling his mom things about himself he couldn't tell his own wife I wouldnquestion his trust in me and I would think we would have communication issues. Help me figure this out because IMO you should be able to feel 1000% comfortable in front of your own spouse.

This is your typical inappropriate mother son relationship. Beware, OP, if you have your own son some day.

[soexcited123]

Anonymous wrote:

soexcited123 wrote:My husband and I have been married for 2 years now. We dated 8 years before that and lived together for 5 years. Each time his mother calls he leaves the room. I find that odd. I would totally get it if we had company over because it could be loud in that case but we don't have any children it's literally just me. My one friend thinks it could be that he wants to confide in private about something to his mom. But what would a grown man want to tell mommy that they couldn't tell their own wife? If his was telling his mom things about himself he couldn't tell his own wife I wouldnquestion his trust in me and I would think we would have communication issues. Help me figure this out because IMO you should be able to feel 1000% comfortable in front of your own spouse.

This is your typical inappropriate mother son relationship. Beware, OP, if you have your own son some day.

Yeah I pretty much told him it was weird he feels the need to keep convos between him and his mom secret. I feel a certain type of way.

[Anonymous]

soexcited123 wrote:But why do you guys feel weird about talking to your family in front of your own spouse? Again it's about being transparent in a relationship. If my husband told his family things he couldn't tell me that would be odd. To address the answer some people gave such as the other party not beinf aware other people can hear if someone is married I assume they are probably in the same room so I act accordingly. Not to mention if im married we are all family why would my in laws tells my husband something and expect him not to tell me? A little odd. When my dad's mom called growing up he never left the room because there weren't secrets and my mom spoke to her mil also. Shouldn't the husband be including his wife in his conversations with his mom after all its her family now too.

My husband Usually calls his mom when I’m not around. So what? He tells me anything I need to know but mostly they talk about stuff that has nothing to do with me. That’s not the same as not being transparent. You sound really needy and suspicious, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Growing up, I was always told it's rude to be on the phone when someone else is in the room.

Rude to the person in the room who is only hearing one side of a conversation/likely is doing something where they dont want to hear a one sided conversation

And rude to the person on the phone who may be unaware that someone is half listening in

I always leave the room when on a phone call.

+1, same.

[Anonymous]

Why not?

[Anonymous]

He can’t have a relationship with his mom independent of you? So odd. What are you afraid of?

[Anonymous]

I had an obsessive controlling ex husband.

Now I talk privately with who I want when I want.

I find someone insisting on listening in on my phone conversations to be controlling and obsessive.

Been there. Done that.

[Anonymous]

I always leave the room when I’m talking to my mom. My DH doesn’t care. You sound a bit controlling and transparency is not always a good thing. Let your poor husband breath. I’m extremely close to my grown son and we talk everyday. I wouldn’t be too thrilled with his wife if she made him feel uncomfortable with this .