Should I reject him or schedule another date?

[Anonymous]

OP here.

This guy is amazing and has a great, easy going personality. However, I don’t feel physical attraction towards him.

I guess the reason for this might be that he’s not my ‘type’. I’m attracted to tall, slender men. This guy on the other hand is short and stocky. I don’t mean to sound shallow, but I’m just not attracted to that body type at all.

I feel that I need my man to be way taller than me. I’m attracted to tall men. With this guy, I’m trying to focus on his great personality force myself to look past his body structure, but unconsciously I can’t help it.

I don’t know if I’m being unreasonable or not (please let me know). The last date I felt we were in the friend zone. The reason I feel repulsed is because I see him as someone like my dad’s friend, rather than a future sexual and romantic partner. I can’t picture him as being my future husband,

Des this make me sound awful and am I being unreasonable?

[Anonymous]

*Does

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

This guy is amazing and has a great, easy going personality. However, I don’t feel physical attraction towards him.

I guess the reason for this might be that he’s not my ‘type’. I’m attracted to tall, slender men. This guy on the other hand is short and stocky. I don’t mean to sound shallow, but I’m just not attracted to that body type at all.

I feel that I need my man to be way taller than me. I’m attracted to tall men. With this guy, I’m trying to focus on his great personality force myself to look past his body structure, but unconsciously I can’t help it.

I don’t know if I’m being unreasonable or not (please let me know). The last date I felt we were in the friend zone. The reason I feel repulsed is because I see him as someone like my dad’s friend, rather than a future sexual and romantic partner. I can’t picture him as being my future husband,

Des this make me sound awful and am I being unreasonable?

You like what you like. I think it's good to be flexible about your "type" - but you don't have a great future with someone who totally turns you off.

And think of it from his perspective - a good guy also deserves to date someone who finds him attractive. I'm sure you wouldn't want someone to talk themselves into dates with you despite not wanting to kiss you.

[Anonymous]

Turn him down op. You don’t stay young and attractive forever though. Women’s window for looking good is pretty short. After that, you won’t be as picky.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

This guy is amazing and has a great, easy going personality. However, I don’t feel physical attraction towards him.

I guess the reason for this might be that he’s not my ‘type’. I’m attracted to tall, slender men. This guy on the other hand is short and stocky. I don’t mean to sound shallow, but I’m just not attracted to that body type at all.

I feel that I need my man to be way taller than me. I’m attracted to tall men. With this guy, I’m trying to focus on his great personality force myself to look past his body structure, but unconsciously I can’t help it.

I don’t know if I’m being unreasonable or not (please let me know). The last date I felt we were in the friend zone. The reason I feel repulsed is because I see him as someone like my dad’s friend, rather than a future sexual and romantic partner. I can’t picture him as being my future husband,

Des this make me sound awful and am I being unreasonable?

You like what you like. I'm glad I'm not limited in this way. I have married and dated black, hispanic, white, 5'3", 5'11, 6'3", skinny, average, muscular, 30 pounds overweight. Never understood the need for a man to be "way taller". Some women says it makes them feel protected. Huh? I really don't feel the need to be protected by anybody. I can tell you though, the guy who is 5'3" and muscular can bench press probably double of those taller guys and is super in bed. I am 5'4" and proudly wear my high heels with him.

How "way taller" do you need? How tall are you and how tall is this guy? Just interested. Sounds like you are set in your ways.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP is the female version of an incel.

You don’t know much about incels if you think that.

She’s not into this one guy. She isn’t claiming all men are rotten and only want big boobed dumb blondes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

This guy is amazing and has a great, easy going personality. However, I don’t feel physical attraction towards him.

I guess the reason for this might be that he’s not my ‘type’. I’m attracted to tall, slender men. This guy on the other hand is short and stocky. I don’t mean to sound shallow, but I’m just not attracted to that body type at all.

I feel that I need my man to be way taller than me. I’m attracted to tall men. With this guy, I’m trying to focus on his great personality force myself to look past his body structure, but unconsciously I can’t help it.

I don’t know if I’m being unreasonable or not (please let me know). The last date I felt we were in the friend zone. The reason I feel repulsed is because I see him as someone like my dad’s friend, rather than a future sexual and romantic partner. I can’t picture him as being my future husband,

Des this make me sound awful and am I being unreasonable?

You lack insight about your preferences, and that is going to limit you. If you’re OK being limited, then you’re good. If you would rather have more optipns in your life than having one physical “type”...work on it. Maybe don’t waste this guy’s time on it, but work on it for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

We spent a great time on our date and we had lots of banter. I find it very easy to have conversations with him and I can be myself 100% around him. I feel very comfortable in his presence.

But I can’t bring myself to be physical with him. I just don’t want to go down that route. I feel repulsed by the thought. He’s not bad looking or anything. I just can’t picture myself initiating anything physical with him.

Part of me wants to text him to part ways but I don’t know if I’ll regret doing this.

A woman let it be known she was interested in me. I did nothing because, while I liked her as a person, I wasn't attracted to her. Then I got increased pressure from her friends. I still did not act. Finally, I was put in a situation where she had to give me a ride home. It came time for me to say good bye and it was so awkward, it seemed easier to kiss her than just get out of the car. 30+ years later we are still together. Sexual attraction can grow, at least for a man.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A friend of mine set me up with a guy who she thought was a great match with me. To be honest, he’s perfect on paper. If I was to see his profile on a dating app, I’ll send him a message.

Yesterday, I decided to go on a date with him. I was initially quite nervous at first, but my nerves calmed down drastically once I started getting to know him. Halfway through the date I was extremely comfortable and relaxed around him. He’s got such an amazing personality and he’s a really kind person overall. We have similar goals in terms of career.

However, I never felt that spark. I feel like I’m not physically attracted to him. I don’t feel like I want to be intimate with him. Basically, no sexual attraction.

I’m confused on whether I should reject him or schedule another date. I told my friend about my feelings and she told me that she wasn’t initially attracted to her DH the first time she saw him, but he later grew on her. She’s encouraging me to go for a second date to see if my feelings towards him increase or not. But I feel a little repulsed from him and if I’m being honest, I can’t stand the thought of kissing him.

With the way I described things, would you suggest I reject him or give him a chance by scheduling a second date?

Spark, buttterflies- whatever you call it fades. Being comfortable to be yourself with someone is key to a long term relationship. IME, you are off to a great start.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

We spent a great time on our date and we had lots of banter. I find it very easy to have conversations with him and I can be myself 100% around him. I feel very comfortable in his presence.

But I can’t bring myself to be physical with him. I just don’t want to go down that route. I feel repulsed by the thought. He’s not bad looking or anything. I just can’t picture myself initiating anything physical with him.

Part of me wants to text him to part ways but I don’t know if I’ll regret doing this.

A woman let it be known she was interested in me. I did nothing because, while I liked her as a person, I wasn't attracted to her. Then I got increased pressure from her friends. I still did not act. Finally, I was put in a situation where she had to give me a ride home. It came time for me to say good bye and it was so awkward, it seemed easier to kiss her than just get out of the car. 30+ years later we are still together. Sexual attraction can grow, at least for a man.

Does your wife know this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

This guy is amazing and has a great, easy going personality. However, I don’t feel physical attraction towards him.

I guess the reason for this might be that he’s not my ‘type’. I’m attracted to tall, slender men. This guy on the other hand is short and stocky. I don’t mean to sound shallow, but I’m just not attracted to that body type at all.

I feel that I need my man to be way taller than me. I’m attracted to tall men. With this guy, I’m trying to focus on his great personality force myself to look past his body structure, but unconsciously I can’t help it.

I don’t know if I’m being unreasonable or not (please let me know). The last date I felt we were in the friend zone. The reason I feel repulsed is because I see him as someone like my dad’s friend, rather than a future sexual and romantic partner. I can’t picture him as being my future husband,

Des this make me sound awful and am I being unreasonable?

Replused is a strong word, Charlotte. How has the tall slender man thing been going for you up to this point? Have you found that the men to whom you are attracted are the men you want to marry and be with long term?

[Anonymous]

Schedule him another session - Thursday between 2-3:15.

[Anonymous]

From your last post, it sounds like you are young (late 20’s perhaps?) and he is older (late 30’s?).

It’s perfectly reasonable that physical attraction is important to you. I find the word ‘repulsed’ to be extreme for describing a short and overweight man, but you feel what you feel.
If you had just said you’re simply not attracted, instead of repulsed, I would say go on a second date and see if he’s a good kisser.
But since you’re repulsed by him, stop giving it more thought and text him that you’re not interested in dating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

This guy is amazing and has a great, easy going personality. However, I don’t feel physical attraction towards him.

I guess the reason for this might be that he’s not my ‘type’. I’m attracted to tall, slender men. This guy on the other hand is short and stocky. I don’t mean to sound shallow, but I’m just not attracted to that body type at all.

I feel that I need my man to be way taller than me. I’m attracted to tall men. With this guy, I’m trying to focus on his great personality force myself to look past his body structure, but unconsciously I can’t help it.

I don’t know if I’m being unreasonable or not (please let me know). The last date I felt we were in the friend zone. The reason I feel repulsed is because I see him as someone like my dad’s friend, rather than a future sexual and romantic partner. I can’t picture him as being my future husband,

Des this make me sound awful and am I being unreasonable?

Replused is a strong word, Charlotte. How has the tall slender man thing been going for you up to this point? Have you found that the men to whom you are attracted are the men you want to marry and be with long term?

Maybe she’s not looking for marriage?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

We spent a great time on our date and we had lots of banter. I find it very easy to have conversations with him and I can be myself 100% around him. I feel very comfortable in his presence.

But I can’t bring myself to be physical with him. I just don’t want to go down that route. I feel repulsed by the thought. He’s not bad looking or anything. I just can’t picture myself initiating anything physical with him.

Part of me wants to text him to part ways but I don’t know if I’ll regret doing this.

A woman let it be known she was interested in me. I did nothing because, while I liked her as a person, I wasn't attracted to her. Then I got increased pressure from her friends. I still did not act. Finally, I was put in a situation where she had to give me a ride home. It came time for me to say good bye and it was so awkward, it seemed easier to kiss her than just get out of the car. 30+ years later we are still together. Sexual attraction can grow, at least for a man.

Does your wife know this?

Does it matter? I mean she knows I didn't act and she knows I wasn't shy. Does she know our first kiss was a wtf kiss? No. I'm not a monster. What purpose would that serve?