Should I reject him or schedule another date?

[Anonymous]

It’s one thing to not feel sexually attracted on the first date. It’s another to feel “repulsed”, which is a word you use in both your posts.
Don’t go on a second date.
Try to figure out why you’re turned off by someone who seems to be a great match. Perhaps a couple sessions of therapy can help you figure that out. Are you only attracted to the “bad boys” who you want to fix? Just one possibility.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, I wrote about second date being great for dh and I. Didn't see you wrote repulsed. Why would you go out again with someone repulsive to you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

We spent a great time on our date and we had lots of banter. I find it very easy to have conversations with him and I can be myself 100% around him. I feel very comfortable in his presence.

But I can’t bring myself to be physical with him. I just don’t want to go down that route. I feel repulsed by the thought. He’s not bad looking or anything. I just can’t picture myself initiating anything physical with him.

Part of me wants to text him to part ways but I don’t know if I’ll regret doing this.

Maybe this is some type of subconscious warning? My aunt met my dad three days before my mom did. As my aunt tells it, a mutual friend introduced them and when the friend suggested they double date, my aunt blurted “Dear God, no!”. She couldn’t even put her finger on it. My dad went on to ruin my mom’s life including talking her into breaking off an engagement to another man.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"I feel like I’m not physically attracted to him. I don’t feel like I want to be intimate with him. Basically, no sexual attraction. "

Will you please listen to yourself, OP?

I felt this way once about a guy, but went out with him anyway because he was fun. He kissed and OMG! Definitely try date number 2!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stop using the word “schedule” in regard to dates. It’s not work. Jeez.

Maybe fitting dates into two people’s schedules isn’t work in your social circle (pink flag), but it is for many people in demanding careers with rich social lives.

Then you’re doing it wrong.

I’m married, but no. Many professional single people don’t have huge blocks of free time every night. Maybe if you live in an area where people have simple jobs and there are few options for grad school, exercise classes or hobbies, sure. Here, people have a lot going on and they can’t just clear their schedules at the drop of a hat for a second date. But again, the ability to do so easily is telling about that person’s lifestyle. Must be attractive if you’re the type whose nightly plan is Netflix.

No one is saying you don’t have to put it on the calendar. But don’t use the same jargon for dates that you do for work. And for god’s sake, don’t “schedule” dates at Starbucks. People who approach dating the way they do work are fundamentally doing it wrong, and maybe, just maybe, that’s why they’re single.

[Anonymous]

Didn't feel attraction on first date? I never have or never expected to feel it on first date. Now you are talking about being repulsed. Stay home and leave him alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s one thing to not feel sexually attracted on the first date. It’s another to feel “repulsed”, which is a word you use in both your posts.
Don’t go on a second date.
Try to figure out why you’re turned off by someone who seems to be a great match. Perhaps a couple sessions of therapy can help you figure that out. Are you only attracted to the “bad boys” who you want to fix? Just one possibility.

This person is totally onto something.

I have the SAME thing. I am a guy though. I end up choosing the wrong women over and over ("crazy" ones), but when I date totally perfect women for me, who match perfectly for me "on paper" I am not attracted at all. I can'teven get an erection. But give me some crazy and I am all in, then it inevitably crashes and burns and there is a bad breakup.

I know this about myself. Point is, I recognize totally the repulsive feeling. Makes no sense.

[Anonymous]

OP is the female version of an incel.

[Anonymous]

Sometimes the spark takes some time to develops, so I suggest giving it another shot.

[Anonymous]

If physical attraction is important to you, make sure you are attracted to that person--25 years of bad sex is repulsive.

There are many people who are not very sexual, or who have low libidos as young adults, so they do not believe physical attraction is important. They do not plan on having much sex anyone.


Listen to the poster who talks about his spouse being an great mom but not a wife. Either that, or start saving for your divorce NOW.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If physical attraction is important to you, make sure you are attracted to that person--25 years of bad sex is repulsive.

There are many people who are not very sexual, or who have low libidos as young adults, so they do not believe physical attraction is important. They do not plan on having much sex anyone.


Listen to the poster who talks about his spouse being an great mom but not a wife. Either that, or start saving for your divorce NOW.

But how can she know if this guy is terrible in bed or has a low libido? He might be a stallion for all she knows at this point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s one thing to not feel sexually attracted on the first date. It’s another to feel “repulsed”, which is a word you use in both your posts.
Don’t go on a second date.
Try to figure out why you’re turned off by someone who seems to be a great match. Perhaps a couple sessions of therapy can help you figure that out. Are you only attracted to the “bad boys” who you want to fix? Just one possibility.

This person is totally onto something.

I have the SAME thing. I am a guy though. I end up choosing the wrong women over and over ("crazy" ones), but when I date totally perfect women for me, who match perfectly for me "on paper" I am not attracted at all. I can'teven get an erection. But give me some crazy and I am all in, then it inevitably crashes and burns and there is a bad breakup.

I know this about myself. Point is, I recognize totally the repulsive feeling. Makes no sense.

Maybe you should stop dating for a while and figure out why you’re attracted to the crazy.

[Anonymous]

Personally I would not go on another date w/this guy.

Sometimes people tend to downplay physical/sexual attraction like it is not important, but I disagree.

How else do you differentiate a lover from a friend??!

Listen to your inner voice OP - it is there for a reason.
If kissing him repulses you, then a second date would be a waste of your time as well as his.

Good luck.

[Anonymous]

The way you wrote this makes you sound awful. YOU decided to go out on a date with him and the rejection and repulsion language....wtf - don't bother this person again

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The way you wrote this makes you sound awful. YOU decided to go out on a date with him and the rejection and repulsion language....wtf - don't bother this person again

I think OP is just being frank so we can understand her and provide advice. I am sure she isn't going to text him about being repulsed!