Wife will not plan....and does not want to deal with the consiquences

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She doesn't "have flexibility" any more than you do. SAHM is a full-time job; WOHD is a full-time job. You have home life responsibilities: BOTH of you.

If I considered it my husband's "job" to file the taxes for both of us, and that didn't get done, do you think I have no responsibility to file the damn taxes?

If she's not getting the vacation plans done, and clearly she's not, you take on the task. You don't get to delegate as if you have no responsibility here.

Ehh sounds like she’s a housewife instead of a sahm. SAHMs have young kids who aren’t in school.

She sounds depressed. I remember vacation planning being too much when I was depressed.

+1

[Anonymous]

Why is she SAHM if you have one kid only ? You sound fed up with her. Make her get a job.

[Anonymous]

OP— DH and I started out with a great rule in our marriage. If Spouse A is in charge of something, they need to make it happen or ask for help. And if Spouse B isn’t happy with how it’s being performed, they can do it themselves.

Which means you remember to be thankful that the other person has taken the responsibility of whatever the chore is off your plate. I do laundry and people always have enough clean clothes. Recently, I got the flu and asked DH to run a few loads, which he did. Now, if started micromanaging or criticizing, he could do his own laundry.

Your wife is not vacation planning up to your standards OP. I get it. So, do it yourself. Problem solved.

[Anonymous]

OP, would your wife have been upset if you had booked the travel for her? Does she have issues with anxiety?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, would your wife have been upset if you had booked the travel for her? Does she have issues with anxiety?

She would be upset if I scheduled it and it was either too early or too late. She would also blame me if there was a problem with the flight. I have learned to get her buy-in before scheduling anything.

[Anonymous]

For your child sake, next time just handle it. if there’s a control issue then pull it up in front of her and book it while you’re sitting together.

[Anonymous]

My child’s father won’t schedule pediatrician appointments. I’m not going let the kid deal with the consequences of that. Grow up, man.

[Anonymous]

OP - you're a guy, in the right so this is such an anomaly here. You will not get support or decent advice beyond one or two women. The vast majority, as you have seen here, will nitpick everything you mention and deflect, deflect, deflect until you are the one to blame.

You attend your DD's competition. Let your DW figure her sh*t out. If she gets angry, you can calmly tell her she had the chance to book cheap flights but she didn't. That was her choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, would your wife have been upset if you had booked the travel for her? Does she have issues with anxiety?

She would be upset if I scheduled it and it was either too early or too late. She would also blame me if there was a problem with the flight. I have learned to get her buy-in before scheduling anything.

she sounds like so many wives - can't let go and needs to control everything

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - you're a guy, in the right so this is such an anomaly here. You will not get support or decent advice beyond one or two women. The vast majority, as you have seen here, will nitpick everything you mention and deflect, deflect, deflect until you are the one to blame.

You attend your DD's competition. Let your DW figure her sh*t out. If she gets angry, you can calmly tell her she had the chance to book cheap flights but she didn't. That was her choice.

+1 if OP was a woman everyone would say her husband has attention deficit disorder.

[Anonymous]

I’m very detail oriented and my husband is very big picture oriented. When it comes to planning trips he will really scout out where to go and what to do but the actual travel detail I take care of. We manage so much of our lives this way because he is really good at the big picture stuff and I’m really good at making things happen. It really helps that we both respect each other’s strengths otherwise we might really annoy each other!

[Anonymous]

Disclaimer male here

You said “...she can’t afford it.”, should that read “...we can’t afford it”?

If not you two have bigge problems.

[Anonymous]

Is there a cultural difference by chance? An economic difference growing up - maybe everything was done for her growing up so she is clueless on logistics (and consequences) and decision making now that she is an adult.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Disclaimer male here

You said “...she can’t afford it.”, should that read “...we can’t afford it”?

If not you two have bigge problems.

I already corrected that error. It is We can't afford...

[Anonymous]

Something is off with her. Focus in on what that is.