School called me to clean my daughter up because of an accident.

[Anonymous]

I'm wondering if OP comes from a culture where 5 year olds are not considered to be school aged like we do here (in some cultures kids this age can be somewhat infantilized), so she thinks it's typical for a 5 year old in Kindergarten to have accidents like this.

[Anonymous]

Does your kid have other developmental delays?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm wondering if OP comes from a culture where 5 year olds are not considered to be school aged like we do here (in some cultures kids this age can be somewhat infantilized), so she thinks it's typical for a 5 year old in Kindergarten to have accidents like this.

I was thinking something along these lines as well. When we lived in Latin America kids were trained MUCH earlier, but it would have been typical for the nurses to clean up

[Anonymous]

There is nothing normal about this.

For comparison there were zero accidents in my daughter’s preschool 4’s class. There was only one kid in her prek3’s class who had an accident.

[Anonymous]

Another who agrees - 3 pees and a poop in a month are not normal for 5 year old. Not remotely normal.

One pee in a year? ok.

What your daughter is going through is excessive, and you need to find a way to work on that.

[Anonymous]

OP, I know some posts were harsh but the take away is that this isn’t normal behavior. Please follow up with your pediatrician. Your daughter must have been so embarrassed. You don’t want this to be a regular experience for her. Kids can be so mean too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm wondering if OP comes from a culture where 5 year olds are not considered to be school aged like we do here (in some cultures kids this age can be somewhat infantilized), so she thinks it's typical for a 5 year old in Kindergarten to have accidents like this.

I was thinking something along these lines as well. When we lived in Latin America kids were trained MUCH earlier, but it would have been typical for the nurses to clean up

I have taught on many continents and as an ESL teacher for over 30 years and have never experienced 5 year old's pooping by accident. Yes, urinating can be an issue and sometimes the counselor follows up with the family. It is not a teachers or nurses job to deal with bodily fluids. You are the care taker of your daughter that is your primary job. Imagine how she feels physically, socially and mentally.

[Anonymous]

OMG. People on this board clearly have not been around a lot of kids in school. One time accidents like this are not common but not unusual. It happened to my one kid in K. An explosion like yours. This kid has been regular since he was a baby. But the class kept getting worked up all day, and he was afraid to ask to go to the bathroom. Classroom misbehavior made (and still makes) him very anxious. He usually didn’t go outside designated times. He HATED the school bathrooms, so he avoided them to the extent possible. He held everything until he couldn’t. It was a BIG mess. Awful. Embarrassing. He had never had a problem before or since. I never had problems as a child, but Thankfully, I was aware of incidents when I was in my school days (a couple — yes more than one going as far as SIXTH grade). The older ones weren’t explosions per se but kids were sent home. One was a relative and another I knew from overhearing a discussion my mom had with s neighbor. Last year I ran a school program right after school. I took over the specials room after a kindergarten class, and yep, the teacher and I cleaned up messes a couple of times. (The janitorial staff took too long to come before my students arrived.)

All this is to say ... your child is not alone. If this is a regular problem, look into it further. My other kid was a withholder — which was waaay bad. If it’s a one time thing, move on.

[Anonymous]

Yes OP, not normal. A one-off incident of wetting her pants would be in the range of normal but definitely not three times in two months.

I’d take her to the ped, and also talk to her teacher about increased bathroom access for awhile.

School is going to call you about vomit or poop for sure, and have you pick her up every time.

Pee who knows...you might not have to pick her up but they will call and tell you about it.

This is all standard in elementary OP.

[Anonymous]

Sorry to pile on but my elementary school aged child had a leg issue for while with a cast and crutches. I kept him home longer than the doctor anticipated us needing because he could not independently use the bathroom without getting pee on himself. I took off of work because I knew schools were not equipped to handle pee spills or help him and he’d be mortified until we figured out a way to get this under control.

Kindergarten students have occasional pee accidents. It happens but they change their clothes. Anything frequent or beyond that cant be handled in a gen ed class.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm wondering if OP comes from a culture where 5 year olds are not considered to be school aged like we do here (in some cultures kids this age can be somewhat infantilized), so she thinks it's typical for a 5 year old in Kindergarten to have accidents like this.

I was thinking something along these lines as well. When we lived in Latin America kids were trained MUCH earlier, but it would have been typical for the nurses to clean up

I have taught on many continents and as an ESL teacher for over 30 years and have never experienced 5 year old's pooping by accident. Yes, urinating can be an issue and sometimes the counselor follows up with the family. It is not a teachers or nurses job to deal with bodily fluids. You are the care taker of your daughter that is your primary job. Imagine how she feels physically, socially and mentally.

I find hard to believe that you never had a kid with an issue like this in 30 years. However I agree the child clean up is not the job of the nurse or teacher.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OMG. People on this board clearly have not been around a lot of kids in school. One time accidents like this are not common but not unusual. It happened to my one kid in K. An explosion like yours. This kid has been regular since he was a baby. But the class kept getting worked up all day, and he was afraid to ask to go to the bathroom. Classroom misbehavior made (and still makes) him very anxious. He usually didn’t go outside designated times. He HATED the school bathrooms, so he avoided them to the extent possible. He held everything until he couldn’t. It was a BIG mess. Awful. Embarrassing. He had never had a problem before or since. I never had problems as a child, but Thankfully, I was aware of incidents when I was in my school days (a couple — yes more than one going as far as SIXTH grade). The older ones weren’t explosions per se but kids were sent home. One was a relative and another I knew from overhearing a discussion my mom had with s neighbor. Last year I ran a school program right after school. I took over the specials room after a kindergarten class, and yep, the teacher and I cleaned up messes a couple of times. (The janitorial staff took too long to come before my students arrived.)

All this is to say ... your child is not alone. If this is a regular problem, look into it further. My other kid was a withholder — which was waaay bad. If it’s a one time thing, move on.

OP said this has happened 3 times in 2 months. Not normal. one-offs of various sorts are normal yes- things happen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm wondering if OP comes from a culture where 5 year olds are not considered to be school aged like we do here (in some cultures kids this age can be somewhat infantilized), so she thinks it's typical for a 5 year old in Kindergarten to have accidents like this.

Usually cultures where kids are infantilized the most are also the ones that potty train the earliest. I know several SE Asian families who still spoon feed their preschoolers and many Indian and Chinese families who completely baby their kids. All were potty trained by age 2. It’s a hygiene thing. The grandparents get on their case about the neglect of letting their grandchildren “sit in filth.”

Anyway, regardless of culture, a kid who’s not fully potty trained at 5 is not normal. 3 pee accidents and a poop accident within the first month would have gotten us kicked out of our preschool that required children to be potty trained to attend. (Note this was the expectation for 3 year olds!!!!) It is so far out of the range of normal for a five year old to be doing this, I really think you need to see a pediatrician.

Does your child have developmental delays? You need to figure out what is going on! THIS IS NOT NORMAL!

[Anonymous]

Is she very shy and perhaps afraid to ask to use the bathroom? Does this happen at home? or in preschool/daycare last year?

If this is a sudden thing, I’d wonder if it is shyness or some sort of discomfort with school. I’d ask your DD.

If it isn’t new, and you can’t easily identify a reason I would take her to the pediatrician.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OMG. People on this board clearly have not been around a lot of kids in school. One time accidents like this are not common but not unusual. It happened to my one kid in K. An explosion like yours. This kid has been regular since he was a baby. But the class kept getting worked up all day, and he was afraid to ask to go to the bathroom. Classroom misbehavior made (and still makes) him very anxious. He usually didn’t go outside designated times. He HATED the school bathrooms, so he avoided them to the extent possible. He held everything until he couldn’t. It was a BIG mess. Awful. Embarrassing. He had never had a problem before or since. I never had problems as a child, but Thankfully, I was aware of incidents when I was in my school days (a couple — yes more than one going as far as SIXTH grade). The older ones weren’t explosions per se but kids were sent home. One was a relative and another I knew from overhearing a discussion my mom had with s neighbor. Last year I ran a school program right after school. I took over the specials room after a kindergarten class, and yep, the teacher and I cleaned up messes a couple of times. (The janitorial staff took too long to come before my students arrived.)

All this is to say ... your child is not alone. If this is a regular problem, look into it further. My other kid was a withholder — which was waaay bad. If it’s a one time thing, move on.

The part that is really not normal is not the child but op’s reaction - I can’t believe I was called. Surely the nurse is used to this. Etc. it borders on seeming like a troll.

That said, I agree it makes sense to talk to her. Figure out if she is afraid of the bathroom or something and has been trying to hold it all day. Poor kid.