Pre-school single dad conundrum

[Anonymous]

Go for it but know they may be married, ring or not. If they are, decline the 2nd asking and distance yourself. I don't wear a ring but happily married. They asked you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Another eye-opening thread.

If you polled men, close to 100% would say to go for it. It's amazing to me how many women on here think this is a bad idea. Who cares if he sleeps with another mom and the preschool. They don't work together, and most kids from preschool go to different elementary schools.

Go for it, OP.

Because most women are probably thinking that it might be awkward for their children first, and worrying about getting laid second.

[Anonymous]

OP - you would have been better off posting on the pre-school and not the relationship thread. Many of the people on the relationship thread are in dysfunctional relationships so they are not going to be able to give you good advice. I'm far from the preschool world and the single parent world but I'd think there was nothing to lose having a cup of coffee with them. Who knows what their motivation might be but you will soon find out and you go from there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You go straight to how attractive they are and dating not whether their kid might make a good friend for your child. IMHO it’s a bit disgusting, put your kid first and keep your hormones in check.

Oh, please. Moms don't interview parents with a cup of coffee before deciding if kids would work together as friends. OP's intuition is much sharper than your's is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m a single Dad and my daughter started preschool three weeks ago. I take her to and from school as I’m lucky to be able to work from home. I’ve already helped out at school so I’ve met most of the parents (almost all Mom’s) and chatted with many. Within the last week two of the moms - one today - asked me if I’d like to grab a cup of coffee after drop off. With both I made a non committal kind of response. I don’t know if they are married or single as I didn’t check out their ring finger but that’s not always a clear yes or know. They are both very attractive and my social life is pretty non existent given I’m rarely in a place where I meet women and I have not attempted social media. Do I take them up on the offer and see what’s up or do I just say thanks but no thanks politely. Even if they are single I do have concerns about dating a preschool mom if things go south but you never know. Many of you are likely pre-school moms so what should a single dad do. TIA.

OP here - I guess I should have posted on the preschool thread but it is what it is. I do intend to take them up on the coffee offer and I'll see how it plays out. My daughter's happiness at school is my #1 priority and I'm not going to risk it for someone whose libido is in overdrive. I am interested in dating but I don't need a Fatal Attraction bunny in the pot moment in my life. For those of you who are married meeting nice people when you are single is a real challenge unless you put yourself out there in social media which feels like too much work for me at this time in my life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You go straight to how attractive they are and dating not whether their kid might make a good friend for your child. IMHO it’s a bit disgusting, put your kid first and keep your hormones in check.

Don't try to date this mom, OP.

Yes, steer clear of this bitter harpy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Presumably your Ex also knows or will know most of the preschool parents. If you and your EX are not on friendly terms and/or you have not been divorced more than 2 years don’t be the douche who starts flaunting your dating in front of her.

OMG, he has a two-year do not go there order for anyone remotely associated with his ex? How do you crazy women come up with this crap?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Presumably your Ex also knows or will know most of the preschool parents. If you and your EX are not on friendly terms and/or you have not been divorced more than 2 years don’t be the douche who starts flaunting your dating in front of her.

OMG, he has a two-year do not go there order for anyone remotely associated with his ex? How do you crazy women come up with this crap?

Because they are crazy which is why they are divorced!

[Anonymous]

Single Dad here with a pre-schooler. If they were friendly I would definitely have coffee with them if I had the time. It's just coffee and not keys to a motel room! I don't understand why women get their panties in a knot over something like this. Maybe one of them is the class mom and wants him to help with the class musical!

[Anonymous]

It's just coffee. Do you enjoy coffee? Then go and get to meet another adult. If, after coffee, it appears like it was more than that, come back here and start a topic about that. This is a non-issue. It's an invite for coffee. If they intended something more, it will become clear and you are in control of what you do from there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's just coffee. Do you enjoy coffee? Then go and get to meet another adult. If, after coffee, it appears like it was more than that, come back here and start a topic about that. This is a non-issue. It's an invite for coffee. If they intended something more, it will become clear and you are in control of what you do from there.

OP here - thank you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hm, I'd say no. Meeting single moms is fine, but meeting ones that have children concurrently enrolled at the same preschool is a no. I suggest library storytime. Crawling with moms...and crawling with babies.

People often advise against dating anyone you might bump into again if things don't work out (e.g. work, gym, kids' school, etc.). While this does help to avoid awkward moments, the downside is people can act the fool, knowing they will never see the person again. Take ghosting, or flaking for example. People do this because they know they can get away with it. Because there is no overlapping social circle, people don't give a second thought about behaving badly (ghosting, ignoring, flaking, sending dick pics) while dating. If he goes out with the woman from preschool, both of them would be more likely to behave with a modicum of decency because they know they will see the other person again and they don't want word of their awful behavior to spread to other parents at the school.

I'm not saying he should treat preschool as main dating pool, but there is a downside to always avoiding people because you may have to see them again if things don't work out--sometimes knowing you will have to see them again is a good thing.

[Anonymous]

Maybe the want to set you up with their attractive and well off relative/friend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The odds of one of the moms being married and on the make is slim to none. No married woman looking for an AP would hit on a pre-school dad. If the women are single why not have coffee with them. For us single parents a 30 minute adult conversation is a wonderful break in the daily grind of being a single parent.

Haw. I got two different APs at pre-school. Both of them approached me. Both married. Great sex. DW still doesn't know about them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's just coffee. Do you enjoy coffee? Then go and get to meet another adult. If, after coffee, it appears like it was more than that, come back here and start a topic about that. This is a non-issue. It's an invite for coffee. If they intended something more, it will become clear and you are in control of what you do from there.

Women don't invite men for "just coffee".