Teenage girls not wearing bras

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You apparently have never worn a hot, uncomfortable bra, all day, every day. I’m glad teenage girls are taking a stand over what is actually practical and comfortable.

OP here - I’m a woman, been wearing bras for 20+ years and I’ve managed to find comfortable ones. And before I get bashed - I get it, we’re all in agreement here that girls should be able to wear what they want without fear or shame, but I think we need to rein it in a bit. I have boobs, and before I nursed 2 kids, I had GREAT boobs. I wore little bathing suit tops and low cut shirts, as well as short skirts and low cut jeans that showed my nice teenage toned abs. I also then breastfed without shame and my 2 sons know about respecting a woman’s body and that breasts aren’t something to oogle.

Now that that’s out of the way...

We’re on a family vacation and my 16 year old niece went for a family bike ride with no bra on under her white tank top. Then she was wearing a very loose dress with no bra and every time she bent over it was wide open. Look, I get it - it’s nice to feel comfortable, but it’s inappropriate. My father-in-law is in no, way, shape, or form “leering” at his granddaughter, it’s making him uncomfortable seeing her breasts. Her mom and dad are divorced, so her mother isn’t here and my brother-in-law is avoiding talking to her about it. I was talking to her and she mentioned she sometimes doesn’t wear a bra because she “doesn’t need to and you can’t even tell” but I let her know that I could tell and that dress needed something under it. She was fine with it, no argument ensued. But I still just don’t get it...

You are a really good aunt. I have both boys and girls not old enough to have this discussion but even as an adult there are times I wished someone would pull me aside and say that top is too see through etc etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is this a “thing” now? Why?!

Because progress.

These girls will be in for a shock at the "progress" of their boobs as they approach the age of 50 and beyond...

That’s their concern, no one else’s.

[Anonymous]

I really struggle to understand people who sit and stare at others' bodies. Do you truly have nothing else going on in your life? I don't look at men to see if they are wearing tighty whities or boxers, why would I stare at teen girls' chests? It's disturbingly impulsive behavior, perhaps something to bring up to your doctor or therapist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You apparently have never worn a hot, uncomfortable bra, all day, every day. I’m glad teenage girls are taking a stand over what is actually practical and comfortable.

OP here - I’m a woman, been wearing bras for 20+ years and I’ve managed to find comfortable ones. And before I get bashed - I get it, we’re all in agreement here that girls should be able to wear what they want without fear or shame, but I think we need to rein it in a bit. I have boobs, and before I nursed 2 kids, I had GREAT boobs. I wore little bathing suit tops and low cut shirts, as well as short skirts and low cut jeans that showed my nice teenage toned abs. I also then breastfed without shame and my 2 sons know about respecting a woman’s body and that breasts aren’t something to oogle.

Now that that’s out of the way...

We’re on a family vacation and my 16 year old niece went for a family bike ride with no bra on under her white tank top. Then she was wearing a very loose dress with no bra and every time she bent over it was wide open. Look, I get it - it’s nice to feel comfortable, but it’s inappropriate. My father-in-law is in no, way, shape, or form “leering” at his granddaughter, it’s making him uncomfortable seeing her breasts. Her mom and dad are divorced, so her mother isn’t here and my brother-in-law is avoiding talking to her about it. I was talking to her and she mentioned she sometimes doesn’t wear a bra because she “doesn’t need to and you can’t even tell” but I let her know that I could tell and that dress needed something under it. She was fine with it, no argument ensued. But I still just don’t get it...

It's not your niece's job to make men (or anyone for that matter) comfortable. She should be able to dress in whatever way makes HER comfortable and feel good. Your FIL and the rest of your family need to get over your body shame. She's not a baby anymore. She's a woman, so yes she has breasts. Just like she has arms, legs, hands, etc. Just like everyone else. It's only a big deal because you're making it one and you should be ashamed of yourself for perpetuating this misogyny and body shame.

It’s not body shame by any stretch of the imagination. It’s asking a teenage girl to basically not be topless. It’s common decency, not a crusade.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some of the girls in one of ds's classes were discussing not wearing bras.

He wondered if the guys could discuss not wearing underwear without repercussion.

Anyway, yes OP it's a thing. Probably not the nest thing to discuss in class though.

Does your son actually want to go without underwear, or is a trumped-up grievance to attack women?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Its their choice I guess. Yes, their nipples will stick out and their boobs will bounce and men (and women and children) will watch it. Yes, some people will be disgusted, some will avert their eyes, some will stare to make them uncomfortable and many others will masturbate recalling it. Yes, they might get harrassed and some men will justify this "sluttiness" to molest or stalk them. All of these scenarios have one thing in common - free will!

Everyone is free to do what they want. I will never encourage my daughter or any other female that I care about to be so stupid.

Couldn't agree more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Its their choice I guess. Yes, their nipples will stick out and their boobs will bounce and men (and women and children) will watch it. Yes, some people will be disgusted, some will avert their eyes, some will stare to make them uncomfortable and many others will masturbate recalling it. Yes, they might get harrassed and some men will justify this "sluttiness" to molest or stalk them. All of these scenarios have one thing in common - free will!

Everyone is free to do what they want. I will never encourage my daughter or any other female that I care about to be so stupid.

Yes, people will continue to use misogynistic stereotypes to justify gross behavior. Including you.

I hate that boys show their underwear and their pants from the back is below their butts. I find that low class, objectionable and gross. Then the way the boys/men walk to not have the pants fall down is even more disgusting. It reminds me of someone who pooped and realized that they do not have toilet paper nearby, so they are walking uncomfortably to get to the toilet paper. There is no misogyny. What is gross and inappropriate remains gross and inappropriate for the civilized.

Nailed it. Gross and inappropriate is genderless. No one is excluded!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It used to be expected that a woman would wear pantyhose, a hat and gloves. Bras are no different. I wear tight fitting spandex camisoles instead of bras often and I'm 48. And NOT small chested.
Deal with it.

That sounds even more uncomfortable than a bra.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You apparently have never worn a hot, uncomfortable bra, all day, every day. I’m glad teenage girls are taking a stand over what is actually practical and comfortable.

OP here - I’m a woman, been wearing bras for 20+ years and I’ve managed to find comfortable ones. And before I get bashed - I get it, we’re all in agreement here that girls should be able to wear what they want without fear or shame, but I think we need to rein it in a bit. I have boobs, and before I nursed 2 kids, I had GREAT boobs. I wore little bathing suit tops and low cut shirts, as well as short skirts and low cut jeans that showed my nice teenage toned abs. I also then breastfed without shame and my 2 sons know about respecting a woman’s body and that breasts aren’t something to oogle.

Now that that’s out of the way...

We’re on a family vacation and my 16 year old niece went for a family bike ride with no bra on under her white tank top. Then she was wearing a very loose dress with no bra and every time she bent over it was wide open. Look, I get it - it’s nice to feel comfortable, but it’s inappropriate. My father-in-law is in no, way, shape, or form “leering” at his granddaughter, it’s making him uncomfortable seeing her breasts. Her mom and dad are divorced, so her mother isn’t here and my brother-in-law is avoiding talking to her about it. I was talking to her and she mentioned she sometimes doesn’t wear a bra because she “doesn’t need to and you can’t even tell” but I let her know that I could tell and that dress needed something under it. She was fine with it, no argument ensued. But I still just don’t get it...

It's not your niece's job to make men (or anyone for that matter) comfortable. She should be able to dress in whatever way makes HER comfortable and feel good. Your FIL and the rest of your family need to get over your body shame. She's not a baby anymore. She's a woman, so yes she has breasts. Just like she has arms, legs, hands, etc. Just like everyone else. It's only a big deal because you're making it one and you should be ashamed of yourself for perpetuating this misogyny and body shame.

It’s not body shame by any stretch of the imagination. It’s asking a teenage girl to basically not be topless. It’s common decency, not a crusade.

Not wearing a bra and not wearing a top are not remotely the same. That you think they are shows how warped our thinking is about covering women. Men walk around literally topless all the time and no one gives a crap. But a 16 year old WEARING A SHIRT without a bra, has the men so uncomfortable including her own freaking father, that busy body aunt had to step in to police her body/clothing choices. Ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You apparently have never worn a hot, uncomfortable bra, all day, every day. I’m glad teenage girls are taking a stand over what is actually practical and comfortable.

OP here - I’m a woman, been wearing bras for 20+ years and I’ve managed to find comfortable ones. And before I get bashed - I get it, we’re all in agreement here that girls should be able to wear what they want without fear or shame, but I think we need to rein it in a bit. I have boobs, and before I nursed 2 kids, I had GREAT boobs. I wore little bathing suit tops and low cut shirts, as well as short skirts and low cut jeans that showed my nice teenage toned abs. I also then breastfed without shame and my 2 sons know about respecting a woman’s body and that breasts aren’t something to oogle.

Now that that’s out of the way...

We’re on a family vacation and my 16 year old niece went for a family bike ride with no bra on under her white tank top. Then she was wearing a very loose dress with no bra and every time she bent over it was wide open. Look, I get it - it’s nice to feel comfortable, but it’s inappropriate. My father-in-law is in no, way, shape, or form “leering” at his granddaughter, it’s making him uncomfortable seeing her breasts. Her mom and dad are divorced, so her mother isn’t here and my brother-in-law is avoiding talking to her about it. I was talking to her and she mentioned she sometimes doesn’t wear a bra because she “doesn’t need to and you can’t even tell” but I let her know that I could tell and that dress needed something under it. She was fine with it, no argument ensued. But I still just don’t get it...

It's not your niece's job to make men (or anyone for that matter) comfortable. She should be able to dress in whatever way makes HER comfortable and feel good. Your FIL and the rest of your family need to get over your body shame. She's not a baby anymore. She's a woman, so yes she has breasts. Just like she has arms, legs, hands, etc. Just like everyone else. It's only a big deal because you're making it one and you should be ashamed of yourself for perpetuating this misogyny and body shame.

OMG. How much more absurd can you get?
-DP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You apparently have never worn a hot, uncomfortable bra, all day, every day. I’m glad teenage girls are taking a stand over what is actually practical and comfortable.

OP here - I’m a woman, been wearing bras for 20+ years and I’ve managed to find comfortable ones. And before I get bashed - I get it, we’re all in agreement here that girls should be able to wear what they want without fear or shame, but I think we need to rein it in a bit. I have boobs, and before I nursed 2 kids, I had GREAT boobs. I wore little bathing suit tops and low cut shirts, as well as short skirts and low cut jeans that showed my nice teenage toned abs. I also then breastfed without shame and my 2 sons know about respecting a woman’s body and that breasts aren’t something to oogle.

Now that that’s out of the way...

We’re on a family vacation and my 16 year old niece went for a family bike ride with no bra on under her white tank top. Then she was wearing a very loose dress with no bra and every time she bent over it was wide open. Look, I get it - it’s nice to feel comfortable, but it’s inappropriate. My father-in-law is in no, way, shape, or form “leering” at his granddaughter, it’s making him uncomfortable seeing her breasts. Her mom and dad are divorced, so her mother isn’t here and my brother-in-law is avoiding talking to her about it. I was talking to her and she mentioned she sometimes doesn’t wear a bra because she “doesn’t need to and you can’t even tell” but I let her know that I could tell and that dress needed something under it. She was fine with it, no argument ensued. But I still just don’t get it...

It's not your niece's job to make men (or anyone for that matter) comfortable. She should be able to dress in whatever way makes HER comfortable and feel good. Your FIL and the rest of your family need to get over your body shame. She's not a baby anymore. She's a woman, so yes she has breasts. Just like she has arms, legs, hands, etc. Just like everyone else. It's only a big deal because you're making it one and you should be ashamed of yourself for perpetuating this misogyny and body shame.

OMG. How much more absurd can you get?
-DP

I know! Totally absurd to point out how dumb it is to get your knickers in a twist over a couple of nipples as though you didn't know they existed.

[Anonymous]

When I was a teen (back in the 80s), I was very flat-chested and wore little camis and sundresses all the time without a bra. I'm now a middle-aged mom and have filled out somewhat since then but can't imagine going braless as I used to. I mean, even though I was flat-chested, I'm sure my nipples were glaringly obvious. I wish in retrospect that someone had told me to put on a bra.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is this a “thing” now? Why?!

Because progress.

These girls will be in for a shock at the "progress" of their boobs as they approach the age of 50 and beyond...

That’s their concern, no one else’s.

I think it's fine for a mom to share info with her daughter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You apparently have never worn a hot, uncomfortable bra, all day, every day. I’m glad teenage girls are taking a stand over what is actually practical and comfortable.

OP here - I’m a woman, been wearing bras for 20+ years and I’ve managed to find comfortable ones. And before I get bashed - I get it, we’re all in agreement here that girls should be able to wear what they want without fear or shame, but I think we need to rein it in a bit. I have boobs, and before I nursed 2 kids, I had GREAT boobs. I wore little bathing suit tops and low cut shirts, as well as short skirts and low cut jeans that showed my nice teenage toned abs. I also then breastfed without shame and my 2 sons know about respecting a woman’s body and that breasts aren’t something to oogle.

Now that that’s out of the way...

We’re on a family vacation and my 16 year old niece went for a family bike ride with no bra on under her white tank top. Then she was wearing a very loose dress with no bra and every time she bent over it was wide open. Look, I get it - it’s nice to feel comfortable, but it’s inappropriate. My father-in-law is in no, way, shape, or form “leering” at his granddaughter, it’s making him uncomfortable seeing her breasts. Her mom and dad are divorced, so her mother isn’t here and my brother-in-law is avoiding talking to her about it. I was talking to her and she mentioned she sometimes doesn’t wear a bra because she “doesn’t need to and you can’t even tell” but I let her know that I could tell and that dress needed something under it. She was fine with it, no argument ensued. But I still just don’t get it...

It's not your niece's job to make men (or anyone for that matter) comfortable. She should be able to dress in whatever way makes HER comfortable and feel good. Your FIL and the rest of your family need to get over your body shame. She's not a baby anymore. She's a woman, so yes she has breasts. Just like she has arms, legs, hands, etc. Just like everyone else. It's only a big deal because you're making it one and you should be ashamed of yourself for perpetuating this misogyny and body shame.

It’s not body shame by any stretch of the imagination. It’s asking a teenage girl to basically not be topless. It’s common decency, not a crusade.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When I was a teen (back in the 80s), I was very flat-chested and wore little camis and sundresses all the time without a bra. I'm now a middle-aged mom and have filled out somewhat since then but can't imagine going braless as I used to. I mean, even though I was flat-chested, I'm sure my nipples were glaringly obvious. I wish in retrospect that someone had told me to put on a bra.

I have the exact opposite reaction. Um in my 50s and wish I could go without a bra now! And now there are plenty of cami-bras that younger or smaller chested women can easily wear. Wearing a sundress or cami without a bra never hurt anyone.