ExH Introduced New GF of a Few Weeks to DD; how to proceed?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am with you op. But you have to let it go.

Yep, I agree with your feelings but it is his right even if it's not the right thing to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I end up picking DD up early and cutting short her time with her dad. On one hand, I feel guilty about cutting into their time

You don't get to do this, and I am surprised he permitted it.

It was presented as a choice to me, e.g. “I know you’re uncomfortable with this situation so if you don’t want Larla to go to the park with [girlfriend + kid], you can pick her up/I will drop her off.” I didn’t demand, though I have expressed my displeasure to ExH for violating what we agreed to.

TBH, OP, your EX-H is stuck between a rock and a hard place and he's not really thinking about his daughter at all on this b/c well...he can't. He's mostly thinking with his dick. Sorry but true. He knows he can't miss the GF's son's bday without her getting pretty pissed off (obviously it's her son and she wants her S/O there with her for the party)...but he also knows that life is a LOT better when YOU aren't pissed off. So he's trying to appease you both here.

You aren't totally wrong. But also it's clear he doesn't agree. And honestly he should technically be able to take your DD (she's BOTH of yours) to hang out with whomever he feels like hanging out with during her visitation time with him. You don't get to decide that unless the person has been determined to be a threat or danger to your kid. She isn't. (Or if she is you have no evidence of that beyond your desire to not have her get attached to someone who might vanish in a couple of weeks.)

OP...I feel for you, but you lost control of this when you and Ex-H divorced. He's her parent too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here with an update. ExH and his girlfriend are no longer together. My issue was never with this one woman in particular; I fear this is only the beginning of a revolving door of women that my DD will be exposed to until she leaves home.

It's not a "fear" OP...it's a reality.

The only way to guard against this is to have stayed married to him, as he wasn't likely to have had this parade of women (at least not openly to expose your DD to) while you were married. Sorry about that.

[Anonymous]

Because of the divorce, your daughter is more likely to suffer the same fate in her relationships. Consequences can be devastating for the children.
And yes, she’s learning “friends” are here today, and gone tomorrow. Save your pennies for her therapy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because of the divorce, your daughter is more likely to suffer the same fate in her relationships. Consequences can be devastating for the children.
And yes, she’s learning “friends” are here today, and gone tomorrow. Save your pennies for her therapy.

This was kind of blunt and blamey, PP. But not completely untrue. Divorce has serious consequences on children.

[Anonymous]

OP the general idea that people should wait to introduce new girlfriends/boyfriends to kids is a good one. And if your exh was on here everyone would be telling him to cool his jets.

But you are asking a different question. You are not asking "is it right to introduce a gf to our dd without telling me so early?" You are asking "is exH introducing his gf to DD so potentially harmful that I am justified limiting his time with her as a result?" To me the answer to that is no. Even though if exH was here asking me if it was potentially harmful I would be saying yes.

You need to understand your position here. You guys will be coparenting and you can't control the environment at his home if it isn't abusive or neglectful. If a bunch of daddy's girlfriends break dds heart over the next 10 years she will learn a lesson about her dad and life that you really can't shield her from. Hopefully that wont happen. But this is her dad and his flaws and foibles will be things she learns intimately no matter what you do.

I would chill out on this and save my political capital for bigger battles.