ExH Introduced New GF of a Few Weeks to DD; how to proceed?

[Anonymous]

I am with you op. But you have to let it go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is pretty black and white. Unless you have something written into your custody agreement about introduction to partners, it is not your place to police this. Even if you DID have this clause, it is not your place to cut short visitation and you would have to pursue action through court (and frankly no one really cares unless the kid is in imminent danger with the new partner). Actually, it’s pretty sad that he feels he has to ask you about what he does during his time. The whole thing screams of an unhealthy dynamic.

Be careful because he may be documenting this to use against you in gaining more custody.

This. Also, you're not in control when she is with him, you need to give up the idea that you are. Meeting another adult and her kid isn't going to scar your kid in any way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You're just being mean and jealous. You're miserable and you are making your child miserable. Shame on you!

[Anonymous]

OP here with an update. ExH and his girlfriend are no longer together. My issue was never with this one woman in particular; I fear this is only the beginning of a revolving door of women that my DD will be exposed to until she leaves home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here with an update. ExH and his girlfriend are no longer together. My issue was never with this one woman in particular; I fear this is only the beginning of a revolving door of women that my DD will be exposed to until she leaves home.

I hear you. It’s been over a decade of the revolving door for my DD. The only upside is that she has a clear vision of the type of woman she does not want to be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also, don't answer this, but think about it: how much of your reaction has to do with the fact your ex-husband is dating? (Zero is not credible.)

As I wrote in the OP, my ex has been dating since we separated. This is not new. I am also dating; I see my boyfriend when my DD is with her dad or I get a sitter.

I don’t understand the hostility. There are countless posts here about not introducing kids to new partners right away. Read any article about dating as a parent and you’ll see this advice. It’s not like I came to this conclusion on my own.

Because you are hurting your child's relationship with her father. So, you really think its better to hire a stranger/babysitter to watch your kid so you can be with your boyfriend? You see your boyfriend during Dad's time and don't dump her on a stranger. Its equally as bad.

This. I was also surprised op gave up time with her child to date.

Op, you know he’s a serial dater. He apologized and asked if you wanted to come get her.

I’m not understanding the point of this post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here with an update. ExH and his girlfriend are no longer together. My issue was never with this one woman in particular; I fear this is only the beginning of a revolving door of women that my DD will be exposed to until she leaves home.

YOure probably. right if that’s his pereonality but that isnt something you have any control over.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also, don't answer this, but think about it: how much of your reaction has to do with the fact your ex-husband is dating? (Zero is not credible.)

As I wrote in the OP, my ex has been dating since we separated. This is not new. I am also dating; I see my boyfriend when my DD is with her dad or I get a sitter.

I don’t understand the hostility. There are countless posts here about not introducing kids to new partners right away. Read any article about dating as a parent and you’ll see this advice. It’s not like I came to this conclusion on my own.

Because you are hurting your child's relationship with her father. So, you really think its better to hire a stranger/babysitter to watch your kid so you can be with your boyfriend? You see your boyfriend during Dad's time and don't dump her on a stranger. Its equally as bad.

This. I was also surprised op gave up time with her child to date.

Op, you know he’s a serial dater. He apologized and asked if you wanted to come get her.

I’m not understanding the point of this post.

What are you not understanding? The OP asked specific questions in her first post. I personally think she’s a control freak and her ex is sleazy but the issue seems pretty simple.

[Anonymous]

OP, I'm with you and in a similar situation with an Ex who is a serial dater and always wants to bring the kids into it. I also was a child of divorce and know first-hand how extremely painful that was for me growing up. Some of my dad's girlfriends were not great people and not good to me, and that hurt. Some of them were really nice and I would adore them, and then they would be gone a few months later, and that was its own kind of pain.

I think you stick to your guns the best you can.

[Anonymous]

It is none of your business and you are just showing your jealousy

[Anonymous]

Op, he now gets to have input into how you handle future relationships.

A judge explained to me that ex's girlfriends were none of my business. He's a parent and can independently decide who to introduce the kids to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op, he now gets to have input into how you handle future relationships.

A judge explained to me that ex's girlfriends were none of my business. He's a parent and can independently decide who to introduce the kids to.

[Anonymous]

If it helps, after they break up, she probably won't remember this woman for very long.

When my daughter was younger, she would occasionally meet someone who I'd dated in the context of a larger group activity. I have a lot of friends of both sexes and she's used to meeting them at various things, so she never really put it together that I might have been dating someone in the group vs. just being friends. Your ex could tell her that this is his "friend" and if she's met other actual friends, she might not think much of it.

[Anonymous]

I agree with you Op. I think people would feel differently if it was a mom bringing multiple men around her daughter. But I think having random women is just as bad.

[Anonymous]

State your concern and then move on. He is not putting her in any jeopardy and it sounds like the only person traumatized by the situation is you. I, too, would prefer that an ex not introduce a GF too early in a relationship but that's a preference, not a law. You divorced him so you can't control his life if he is upholding the custody agreement.