Do you excuse sexist or racist behavior from a older relative because of their age?

[Anonymous]

You are quick to jump in with your judgement and corrections. It’s really uglier than saying oriental or colored.

[Anonymous]

Older people don’t get why they should say HRH the royal brown person and bend the knee when they see one or even if discussion comes up in their own homes. To them the constantly changing language envelope seems ludicrous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I correct my parents but they are pretty good. Not hateful just have said one or two things over the years that are ignorant. But my ILs are willfully ignorant racists. There’s usually at least one zinger when we visit. I leave the room and seethe. However if anyone were around that might be hurt by their comments I’d correct them on the spot.

You are hurt by it. Your are hurt if you do not say something. That's what some of you do not realize-- you feel as if, 'oh well, they are old, or no one of color is around so I will not take the intellectual and EMOTIONAL energy to say something'. That means you are PARTICIPATING in their ignorance. And once again, THOSE OF US WHO ARE ON THE RECEIVING END, THOSE OF US WHO HAVE TO HANDLE THE FIRST TIME THEIR KID(S) IS CALLED A "N*****" HAVE TO DEAL WITH THIS CRAP THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO EXPEND THE ENERGY ON.
IT DOES NOT MATTER IF THEY DO NOT HAVE SOME MIRACULOUS EPIPHANY -- WHAT MATTERS IS THAT THEY KNOW AND UNDERSTAND THAT YOU WILL NOT TOLERATE THAT BEHAVIOUR.
IF YOUR 50 YR OLD DAD OR 90 YR WERE SHOPLIFTING IN FRONT OF YOU -- YOU IGNORE IT?
MISS ME WITH THE BS

[Anonymous]

Joe, stop!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Older people don’t get why they should say HRH the royal brown person and bend the knee when they see one or even if discussion comes up in their own homes. To them the constantly changing language envelope seems ludicrous.

WTF

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you have any idea how old the people who marched in the civil rights movement are today?

No free passes for age.

Some of them have evolved to be the biggest bigots themselves so not sure the comparison helps much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you have any idea how old the people who marched in the civil rights movement are today?

No free passes for age.

Some of them have evolved to be the biggest bigots themselves so not sure the comparison helps much.

Say what?
Prove your point or move on back to Breitbart, StormFront or KKK is Us.com.
Add to the conversation in a meaninful way or move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are quick to jump in with your judgement and corrections. It’s really uglier than saying oriental or colored.

Um no..no it's not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you have any idea how old the people who marched in the civil rights movement are today?

No free passes for age.

Some of them have evolved to be the biggest bigots themselves so not sure the comparison helps much.

Man. Some of us are waiting you out

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I correct my parents but they are pretty good. Not hateful just have said one or two things over the years that are ignorant. But my ILs are willfully ignorant racists. There’s usually at least one zinger when we visit. I leave the room and seethe. However if anyone were around that might be hurt by their comments I’d correct them on the spot.

You are hurt by it. Your are hurt if you do not say something. That's what some of you do not realize-- you feel as if, 'oh well, they are old, or no one of color is around so I will not take the intellectual and EMOTIONAL energy to say something'. That means you are PARTICIPATING in their ignorance. And once again, THOSE OF US WHO ARE ON THE RECEIVING END, THOSE OF US WHO HAVE TO HANDLE THE FIRST TIME THEIR KID(S) IS CALLED A "N*****" HAVE TO DEAL WITH THIS CRAP THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO EXPEND THE ENERGY ON.
IT DOES NOT MATTER IF THEY DO NOT HAVE SOME MIRACULOUS EPIPHANY -- WHAT MATTERS IS THAT THEY KNOW AND UNDERSTAND THAT YOU WILL NOT TOLERATE THAT BEHAVIOUR.
IF YOUR 50 YR OLD DAD OR 90 YR WERE SHOPLIFTING IN FRONT OF YOU -- YOU IGNORE IT?
MISS ME WITH THE BS

Thank you for responding. My in-laws would never use the n-word. I would cut them out of my life if they did. It's nothing as bad as that. It's political talk that I find to be ignorant. My in-laws also don't interact with anyone in the world except their sons and elderly friends. They almost never leave the house.

[Anonymous]

My IL-laws have thrown around the n-word from time to time, complain about immigrants and make disparaging comments about skin tones and religions. My DH claims this is due to age (mid-70's) and never having any exposure outside of their hometown. I think this is entirely wrong and a weak excuse. Maybe using the incorrect terminology is excusable, but the equating certain skin tones to criminal or suspect behavior is just flat out wrong no matter where you grow up. I keep my kids away.

[Anonymous]

My grandpa, born in the late 20s, who passed a few years ago did still use the terms oriental and colored. It was cringey, of course, but he truly only used them conversationally, not derisively. It was clearly just his carried over habit of how to describe an Asian or person of color. And he didn't do it publicly. He was actually quite progressive/liberal for his age and geographic location. So, while we didn't love the terms, I don't think correcting him would have broken his habits.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I correct my parents but they are pretty good. Not hateful just have said one or two things over the years that are ignorant. But my ILs are willfully ignorant racists. There’s usually at least one zinger when we visit. I leave the room and seethe. However if anyone were around that might be hurt by their comments I’d correct them on the spot.

You are hurt by it. Your are hurt if you do not say something. That's what some of you do not realize-- you feel as if, 'oh well, they are old, or no one of color is around so I will not take the intellectual and EMOTIONAL energy to say something'. That means you are PARTICIPATING in their ignorance. And once again, THOSE OF US WHO ARE ON THE RECEIVING END, THOSE OF US WHO HAVE TO HANDLE THE FIRST TIME THEIR KID(S) IS CALLED A "N*****" HAVE TO DEAL WITH THIS CRAP THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO EXPEND THE ENERGY ON.
IT DOES NOT MATTER IF THEY DO NOT HAVE SOME MIRACULOUS EPIPHANY -- WHAT MATTERS IS THAT THEY KNOW AND UNDERSTAND THAT YOU WILL NOT TOLERATE THAT BEHAVIOUR.
IF YOUR 50 YR OLD DAD OR 90 YR WERE SHOPLIFTING IN FRONT OF YOU -- YOU IGNORE IT?
MISS ME WITH THE BS

Thank you for responding. My in-laws would never use the n-word. I would cut them out of my life if they did. It's nothing as bad as that. It's political talk that I find to be ignorant. My in-laws also don't interact with anyone in the world except their sons and elderly friends. They almost never leave the house.

Just to be clear, I was not insinuating that your in-laws would use that word, it was an explanation of the life experience of those of us who live at the other end of the insults/epithets/ugliness which is the topic of this thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My grandpa, born in the late 20s, who passed a few years ago did still use the terms oriental and colored. It was cringey, of course, but he truly only used them conversationally, not derisively. It was clearly just his carried over habit of how to describe an Asian or person of color. And he didn't do it publicly. He was actually quite progressive/liberal for his age and geographic location. So, while we didn't love the terms, I don't think correcting him would have broken his habits.

The usage is derisive, do you understand, it is derisive. If no one is referring to you in that manner, then you do not get to make that call.
SHEESH -- this is tiring. The goal may not be to change the person, it is to POINT OUT WHAT IS WRONG.
SMDH!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My IL-laws have thrown around the n-word from time to time, complain about immigrants and make disparaging comments about skin tones and religions. My DH claims this is due to age (mid-70's) and never having any exposure outside of their hometown. I think this is entirely wrong and a weak excuse. Maybe using the incorrect terminology is excusable, but the equating certain skin tones to criminal or suspect behavior is just flat out wrong no matter where you grow up. I keep my kids away.

My in-laws are in their 70's and they don't use those words -- OH YEA, THEY ARE THE ONES GETTING CALLED THOSE WORDS. You husband excusing this -- WEAK AF!