And I'm officially done with staying at MIL's house

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My MIL also has no concept of privacy or boundaries. She would barge in under the pretense of collecting our dirty clothes to do laundry, even after we repeatedly asked her not to and that we'd do our own laundry thank you.

You are a saint if you didn't flip out at that point.

The word you're looking for isn't "saint," it's "doormat."

[Anonymous]

My MIL used to open our DD’s room to “watch her sleep” when she was an infant. Roughly 50% of the time DD woke up within 5 minutes. MIL would change the baby’s diaper and bring her to use acting like she had done us some big favor. Totally ignored us when we said the baby would otherwise not have woken yet. Well, one time she totally ducked up and didn’t realize DD didn’t go down the first time we tried, so went in literally 10 minutes after her usually 2 hour nap started and, surprise, baby woke up. My DH finally snapped at her immediately so that his reaction could in no way be blamed on me and the nonsense finally stopped. She still gets up and bangs around making coffee at 6 am, even when staying in our tiny row house, typically waking up is + all 3 kids. It is insane-making. I hate her visits with a passion and she usually stays 3 weeks at least because she is coming from the other side of the world, so we are always exhausted by the time she leaves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you my SIL? My MIL does this too! It is so rude and it makes me so angry. She has done this in her has as well as mine. She walked in on me breastfeeding when I was in m own bed, in my underwear, in my own house. The icing on the cake was she just let herself into my house so I didn't even know she was there. When I said something about it, she said, "Well I knocked first, so it's okay." Uh, don't most people knock to get permission to enter? A knock isn't a warning, it's a request for permission.

I’m curious what your response was? Did you tell it was NOT ok? She needs to wait for someone to let her in?

Yes, I told her it was not okay, and that she needs to get permission to enter after knocking. She still insists that it's perfectly okay for her to barge in if she knocks right before barging, and maintains that she did nothing wrong. She is never wrong, you know.

Are these knocks with no response and then an enter? I mean, often if you own the house or are family visiting. You knock to see if someone is in the room and then enter because you think noone is in the room. This sounds like a lot of veiled hatred looking for an excuse to justify it. I mean really, is this a final straw or an honest mistake?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My MIL used to open our DD’s room to “watch her sleep” when she was an infant. Roughly 50% of the time DD woke up within 5 minutes. MIL would change the baby’s diaper and bring her to use acting like she had done us some big favor. Totally ignored us when we said the baby would otherwise not have woken yet. Well, one time she totally ducked up and didn’t realize DD didn’t go down the first time we tried, so went in literally 10 minutes after her usually 2 hour nap started and, surprise, baby woke up. My DH finally snapped at her immediately so that his reaction could in no way be blamed on me and the nonsense finally stopped. She still gets up and bangs around making coffee at 6 am, even when staying in our tiny row house, typically waking up is + all 3 kids. It is insane-making. I hate her visits with a passion and she usually stays 3 weeks at least because she is coming from the other side of the world, so we are always exhausted by the time she leaves.

Omg yessssss. MIL always wants to see my kids sleeping! What is up with that? They’re bad sleepers there anyways. Last time over Christmas her best friend wanted to see them sleeping too. MIL said “that’s okay right?” And I said no. She said it was her house. Wtf

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you my SIL? My MIL does this too! It is so rude and it makes me so angry. She has done this in her has as well as mine. She walked in on me breastfeeding when I was in m own bed, in my underwear, in my own house. The icing on the cake was she just let herself into my house so I didn't even know she was there. When I said something about it, she said, "Well I knocked first, so it's okay." Uh, don't most people knock to get permission to enter? A knock isn't a warning, it's a request for permission.

I’m curious what your response was? Did you tell it was NOT ok? She needs to wait for someone to let her in?

Yes, I told her it was not okay, and that she needs to get permission to enter after knocking. She still insists that it's perfectly okay for her to barge in if she knocks right before barging, and maintains that she did nothing wrong. She is never wrong, you know.

Are these knocks with no response and then an enter? I mean, often if you own the house or are family visiting. You knock to see if someone is in the room and then enter because you think noone is in the room. This sounds like a lot of veiled hatred looking for an excuse to justify it. I mean really, is this a final straw or an honest mistake?

??? Wow you’re clearly making a lot of assumptions here. She knocks and screams, “I’m coming in!” while opening the door. There is no time to even respond. She doesn’t pause between knocking and entering. There is no “veiled hatred.” It is a violation of basic courtesy and basic personal boundaries.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you my SIL? My MIL does this too! It is so rude and it makes me so angry. She has done this in her has as well as mine. She walked in on me breastfeeding when I was in m own bed, in my underwear, in my own house. The icing on the cake was she just let herself into my house so I didn't even know she was there. When I said something about it, she said, "Well I knocked first, so it's okay." Uh, don't most people knock to get permission to enter? A knock isn't a warning, it's a request for permission.

I’m curious what your response was? Did you tell it was NOT ok? She needs to wait for someone to let her in?

Yes, I told her it was not okay, and that she needs to get permission to enter after knocking. She still insists that it's perfectly okay for her to barge in if she knocks right before barging, and maintains that she did nothing wrong. She is never wrong, you know.

Are these knocks with no response and then an enter? I mean, often if you own the house or are family visiting. You knock to see if someone is in the room and then enter because you think noone is in the room. This sounds like a lot of veiled hatred looking for an excuse to justify it. I mean really, is this a final straw or an honest mistake?

??? Wow you’re clearly making a lot of assumptions here. She knocks and screams, “I’m coming in!” while opening the door. There is no time to even respond. She doesn’t pause between knocking and entering. There is no “veiled hatred.” It is a violation of basic courtesy and basic personal boundaries.

Did you explain to them you found it rude and together agreed upon what you believed is appropriate behavior. This is the adult reaction. Different cultures, families, and individuals have different perspectives on what is appropriate and civil. Unless you speech up and agree, then you are just using the scenario to justify your feelings. If you agree and they disobey, or refuse to talk with you, that is different

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you my SIL? My MIL does this too! It is so rude and it makes me so angry. She has done this in her has as well as mine. She walked in on me breastfeeding when I was in m own bed, in my underwear, in my own house. The icing on the cake was she just let herself into my house so I didn't even know she was there. When I said something about it, she said, "Well I knocked first, so it's okay." Uh, don't most people knock to get permission to enter? A knock isn't a warning, it's a request for permission.

I’m curious what your response was? Did you tell it was NOT ok? She needs to wait for someone to let her in?

Yes, I told her it was not okay, and that she needs to get permission to enter after knocking. She still insists that it's perfectly okay for her to barge in if she knocks right before barging, and maintains that she did nothing wrong. She is never wrong, you know.

Are these knocks with no response and then an enter? I mean, often if you own the house or are family visiting. You knock to see if someone is in the room and then enter because you think noone is in the room. This sounds like a lot of veiled hatred looking for an excuse to justify it. I mean really, is this a final straw or an honest mistake?

??? Wow you’re clearly making a lot of assumptions here. She knocks and screams, “I’m coming in!” while opening the door. There is no time to even respond. She doesn’t pause between knocking and entering. There is no “veiled hatred.” It is a violation of basic courtesy and basic personal boundaries.

Did you explain to them you found it rude and together agreed upon what you believed is appropriate behavior. This is the adult reaction. Different cultures, families, and individuals have different perspectives on what is appropriate and civil. Unless you speech up and agree, then you are just using the scenario to justify your feelings. If you agree and they disobey, or refuse to talk with you, that is different

NP. Did you even read the thread you’re responding to? The third response says they did and nothing changed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you my SIL? My MIL does this too! It is so rude and it makes me so angry. She has done this in her has as well as mine. She walked in on me breastfeeding when I was in m own bed, in my underwear, in my own house. The icing on the cake was she just let herself into my house so I didn't even know she was there. When I said something about it, she said, "Well I knocked first, so it's okay." Uh, don't most people knock to get permission to enter? A knock isn't a warning, it's a request for permission.

I’m curious what your response was? Did you tell it was NOT ok? She needs to wait for someone to let her in?

Yes, I told her it was not okay, and that she needs to get permission to enter after knocking. She still insists that it's perfectly okay for her to barge in if she knocks right before barging, and maintains that she did nothing wrong. She is never wrong, you know.

Does she have a key?

[Anonymous]

How peaceful for your entire family to be done with those horrible arrangements! Own tv, own bathroom, hotel pool sound perfect! Long overdue!! Your MIL sounds rude and ignorant!

I agree! Good for you and I'm so glad your DH lead the charge!

[Anonymous]

Ugh, I feel you OP. My mom isn't this rude, but her house is so small you hear everything. We're about to have ours second, and I dread having to explain why we'll be doing a hotel from now on when we visit. But it must be done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you my SIL? My MIL does this too! It is so rude and it makes me so angry. She has done this in her has as well as mine. She walked in on me breastfeeding when I was in m own bed, in my underwear, in my own house. The icing on the cake was she just let herself into my house so I didn't even know she was there. When I said something about it, she said, "Well I knocked first, so it's okay." Uh, don't most people knock to get permission to enter? A knock isn't a warning, it's a request for permission.

I’m curious what your response was? Did you tell it was NOT ok? She needs to wait for someone to let her in?

Yes, I told her it was not okay, and that she needs to get permission to enter after knocking. She still insists that it's perfectly okay for her to barge in if she knocks right before barging, and maintains that she did nothing wrong. She is never wrong, you know.

Are these knocks with no response and then an enter? I mean, often if you own the house or are family visiting. You knock to see if someone is in the room and then enter because you think noone is in the room. This sounds like a lot of veiled hatred looking for an excuse to justify it. I mean really, is this a final straw or an honest mistake?

I'm not the PP you are responding to, but I am the OP. Look, if you don't get it, you don't get it. If you don't get that people are staying over in a GUEST ROOM in someone's home, or are in their very own BEDROOM in their own home, with a closed door, then it is incredibly rude to knock and not wait for a response.

Gee, do you think I'm getting dressed after I literally just took a shower? Yes, this happened to me: I passed MIL in the hallway in my robe, with my hair in a towel. Literally three minutes later, she knock-enters the guest room where she knows I'm staying. Oh boy, you caught me undressed, who could have possibly foreseen that?

Yes, this happens. It's clearly a control thing. It's clearly a "I am the master of this domain, even if it is your house" thing, with some people.

Luckily, I'm off the carousel.

[Anonymous]

Yes, it is a control thing. MIL knocked, paused & walked into my bedroom when I was half-naked lying in bed breastfeeding baby. DH was in the shower. So awkward for her. After that, she started pausing longer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Old people gonna old.

+1

Thank you, I needed this. SO true.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you my SIL? My MIL does this too! It is so rude and it makes me so angry. She has done this in her has as well as mine. She walked in on me breastfeeding when I was in m own bed, in my underwear, in my own house. The icing on the cake was she just let herself into my house so I didn't even know she was there. When I said something about it, she said, "Well I knocked first, so it's okay." Uh, don't most people knock to get permission to enter? A knock isn't a warning, it's a request for permission.

I’m curious what your response was? Did you tell it was NOT ok? She needs to wait for someone to let her in?

Yes, I told her it was not okay, and that she needs to get permission to enter after knocking. She still insists that it's perfectly okay for her to barge in if she knocks right before barging, and maintains that she did nothing wrong. She is never wrong, you know.

Does she have a key?

To our house? Not a chance! But the back door was unlocked that day while I was at home. She simply walked in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you my SIL? My MIL does this too! It is so rude and it makes me so angry. She has done this in her has as well as mine. She walked in on me breastfeeding when I was in m own bed, in my underwear, in my own house. The icing on the cake was she just let herself into my house so I didn't even know she was there. When I said something about it, she said, "Well I knocked first, so it's okay." Uh, don't most people knock to get permission to enter? A knock isn't a warning, it's a request for permission.

I’m curious what your response was? Did you tell it was NOT ok? She needs to wait for someone to let her in?

Yes, I told her it was not okay, and that she needs to get permission to enter after knocking. She still insists that it's perfectly okay for her to barge in if she knocks right before barging, and maintains that she did nothing wrong. She is never wrong, you know.

Are these knocks with no response and then an enter? I mean, often if you own the house or are family visiting. You knock to see if someone is in the room and then enter because you think noone is in the room. This sounds like a lot of veiled hatred looking for an excuse to justify it. I mean really, is this a final straw or an honest mistake?

I'm not the PP you are responding to, but I am the OP. Look, if you don't get it, you don't get it. If you don't get that people are staying over in a GUEST ROOM in someone's home, or are in their very own BEDROOM in their own home, with a closed door, then it is incredibly rude to knock and not wait for a response.

Gee, do you think I'm getting dressed after I literally just took a shower? Yes, this happened to me: I passed MIL in the hallway in my robe, with my hair in a towel. Literally three minutes later, she knock-enters the guest room where she knows I'm staying. Oh boy, you caught me undressed, who could have possibly foreseen that?

Yes, this happens. It's clearly a control thing. It's clearly a "I am the master of this domain, even if it is your house" thing, with some people.

Luckily, I'm off the carousel.

Thank you, OP. I had no idea other people were dealing with this exact same thing with their MILs.