And I'm officially done with staying at MIL's house

[Anonymous]

Nobody walks in on me. I have a door stop that I wedge under the door before I undress, take a shower or go to sleep whenever I am away from home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, it is a control thing. MIL knocked, paused & walked into my bedroom when I was half-naked lying in bed breastfeeding baby. DH was in the shower. So awkward for her. After that, she started pausing longer.

This may be the key! OP - you should always be doing something totally weird and awkward whenever your MIL busts in on you. Then maybe she will learn her lesson. Be topless, make out with DH, lay a bunch of lacy underwear all of the room 'to dry.'

[Anonymous]

OP, it would have been better if you had just started staying in hotels, without all the drama

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, it would have been better if you had just started staying in hotels, without all the drama

Gee, do you think?

See, the problem with me is, I'm a normal person. So I would never behave the way MIL does, and wouldn't expect that kind of behavior from others. Like the vast majority of people on this board, we have stayed with other family members before, without incident.

Like most people, we gently brought up problems and addressed them with her in good faith. But her promises to stop this behavior were empty. So after putting up with it and putting forth our best efforts for years--in the name of family closeness--we are done.

As I mentioned, she's always guilt-tripped and pouted when we mentioned hotel before. We wanted to make her happy. But she's unreasonable and not normal.

[Anonymous]

you don't mention, you just do

[Anonymous]

and you do without all this drama

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:and you do without all this drama

If you have life allllll figured out, why, exactly are you on this board?

Go away. You're not helpful.

[Anonymous]

at this point it's beyond knocking on doors. nobody in his right mind would enter a guest room with guests at 6am, even knocking before, unless it is a life-threatening emergency. also nobody would vacuum a house with guest at 6am so she could have waited. hotel from now on and if she pouts let her pouts.

[Anonymous]

I'm with you, OP. My in-laws really, really pressured us to stay in their very small house - the guest room has two twin beds they would push together for us. When kid #2 was an infant the four of us stayed in the room, once, and then I said: never again. MIL loves to watch the kids sleep (us, the parents!, as well as her grandkids), opens the door, turns on the TV loudly at all hours of the night, and gets upset if we take an extra towel or move anything. There was a ton of pouting and a lot of pressure for us to stay in their house: no. Now it's a given, and it very much makes for a better trip. Good for you!

[Anonymous]

She sounds like an asshole. Disrespectful and not even considerate of the baby. Hotel time!

By the way, does she pull this crap when she’s at your house?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Locks?

Only on bathroom doors.

Better yet, save your money and stay at her house, but get a hotel room door lock and don't tell her; then let her try to come in. There's a bunch on Amazon, but here are 2.

https://www.amazon.com/Addalock-Portable-Travel-AirBNB-Lockdown/dp/B00186URTY?ref_=fsclp_pl_dp_3


https://www.amazon.com/DoorJammer-Portable-Security-Personal-Protection/dp/B00N95IVSQ?ref_=fsclp_pl_dp_9

Nope, the ruckus would still disturb us/wake us up. And her trying to get in without knocking is still disrespecting me. Instead, she's losing out on us ever staying on her home. Ever. She's done. We're driving away as we speak, and nodded at the Hampton Inn on our way out of town. That's our new New Jersey home away from home.

Ok, so what are you looking for from DCUM? Are you just venting?

Are you new here? Yes, sometimes people vent and commiserate on DCUM. Welcome!

No, I'm not new here, I've been here long enough to know that an asshole like you always seems to show up.

Personally, I think the asshole is you for asking the stupid question first (what are you looking for from DCUM? Really?). But that’s just me.

NP, btw

And you thought you'd add exactly what to the conversation? LOL

NP, btw

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nobody walks in on me. I have a door stop that I wedge under the door before I undress, take a shower or go to sleep whenever I am away from home.

Yes, that makes sense, but that's been suggested to OP and she wasn't interested in that option. But, apparently it's bad to ask if she was just venting because she isn't actually interested in hearing solutions. That's fine, but would be good to know ahead of time.

[Anonymous]

What is this weird shit about wanting to watch people sleep? is that a thing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nobody walks in on me. I have a door stop that I wedge under the door before I undress, take a shower or go to sleep whenever I am away from home.

Yes, that makes sense, but that's been suggested to OP and she wasn't interested in that option. But, apparently it's bad to ask if she was just venting because she isn't actually interested in hearing solutions. That's fine, but would be good to know ahead of time.

People who are trying to jump on OP just need to stop. There's no gray area here, no two ways about it. MIL is being inappropriate and OP doesn't have to get door stops or locks or push a dresser in front of the door, ridiculous. They are grown adults and a hotel is a perfectly fine solution.

And I love my MIL, I have taken her on vacation with me and the kids (I'm divorced) and we all stayed in one room. But she would never just enter a bedroom with a closed door. No normal person would. Outrageous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nobody walks in on me. I have a door stop that I wedge under the door before I undress, take a shower or go to sleep whenever I am away from home.

Yes, that makes sense, but that's been suggested to OP and she wasn't interested in that option. But, apparently it's bad to ask if she was just venting because she isn't actually interested in hearing solutions. That's fine, but would be good to know ahead of time.

Read the OP again. She didn't ask for solutions. She made it clear she had made the decision to use hotels moving forward. Yes, she came to vent and for commiseration, and last I checked, a significant percent of posts on DCUM do the same.