Should I include being vegan in my dating profile?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Okay. I'm out. You have decided that my DH who loves to cook, and just has to make a separate batch and leave some meat out is somehow suffering.

He's not a saint. He's just not a put upon a******

If you were a true foodie, you would know that taking everyday dishes and making them slightly exotic or upscale fun for cooks. There are whole restaurants with famous chefs devoted to this concept

You're digging in because you don't have a real point. And making yourself seem kind of mean at the same time.

Are you under the impression that you're just talking to one person? You aren't. At least two of us think you're a high maintenance, defensive PITA.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:But whatever. Maybe I'm trying too hard. All I can tell you is my experience of being a vegan and being married to an omnivore foodie. We do lots of dining out and fun but it has never been an issue between us.

I guess you are making an issue for you so it would be an issue. But don't put that on vegans and vegetarians. You're the one with all the fears about oh my God I might not have the best restaurant experience and that's the most important thing in the world to me

You've convinced me, PP. You have demonstrated that vegans are kind, and considerate, and not at all defensive, and all-around wonderful people. I definitely want to date one now.

Except . . . you didn't do that at all. Quite the opposite, actually.

You better hang onto that husband of yours - he's apparently a saint.

and there is the death knell You are resorting to a personal attack without any evidence because you have nothing else.

The evidence is in your posts. Which also demonstrate your lack of knowledge.

"My husband made three-meat chili! From Whole Foods! Organic! So he must be a foodie!"

No, he's just got more money than sense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't see any reason to include it, if you don't consider it fundamental to your personal identity and need a partner who shares your dietary choices.

I feel like it's a myth of online dating that you need to put every single thing about yourself - esp stuff that could turn someone else off - on your profile. No need to mention that you like Big Bang Theory, either, or that you don't have a passport. That's all stuff that someone can find out after getting to know you a little, so it's not the only info they are going on.

Back when I was single, I did mention being vegetarian on my profile - but that's because it *is* fundamental to my self-identity, and I wanted to be with someone who shared that or at least who was open to it. (Course I ended up marrying a guy who periodically does Atkins, eating only meat - so there you go.)

If, after coffee, I suggest going and getting a burger and there is hemming and hawing about which restaurant because you want to know if there will be something available for you to eat, then I'm not interested. You're already too much work. If you had put it in your profile, then I would know not to bother with you. Not because you're not a great person, a great fit, a great whatever.....it really is about ME. I have no interest in dealing with food limitations.

Then you should put in YOUR profile you only want someone who will go out for burgers with you. Sounds like you are the one with the strict requirements, not OP. She can choose not to date you, if you say off the bat that you will only date meat eaters.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't see any reason to include it, if you don't consider it fundamental to your personal identity and need a partner who shares your dietary choices.

I feel like it's a myth of online dating that you need to put every single thing about yourself - esp stuff that could turn someone else off - on your profile. No need to mention that you like Big Bang Theory, either, or that you don't have a passport. That's all stuff that someone can find out after getting to know you a little, so it's not the only info they are going on.

Back when I was single, I did mention being vegetarian on my profile - but that's because it *is* fundamental to my self-identity, and I wanted to be with someone who shared that or at least who was open to it. (Course I ended up marrying a guy who periodically does Atkins, eating only meat - so there you go.)

It is fundamental to your personality and lifestyle if you eat such a restricted diet.

I agree. It requires a partner who is willing to accept the challenges of being with someone with significant restrictions and, therefore, should be included in your profile. I wouldn't date a vegan.

Make sure that's in YOUR profile, then.

It's really much easier if you say who you won't date than if you require all prospective partners to list every part of their lives that might end up being a problem, just in case.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dude. People talk about vegans being obsessed with their diets? freaking carnivores whocan't even imagine dating one because of their love of food seem like they are more overly focused on that.

I'm a vegan, my husband of 20 years is not. We have had 20 wonderful years of meals and dinners out and happiness. And he is a foodie, too. But not to the point that me being a vegan sucks joy out of his life I guess

+1 yepppp

I am a lifelong vegetarian married to a serious meat eater. It's really not a problem for either of us. I'm only seeing the meat eaters here getting angry and obsessed about possibly being tricked into a date with someone who doesn't eat meat.

So as I keep saying: If that is how you feel, make sure your profile states that you only want to date meat eaters. It will really help keep those who don't eat meat be sure they don't contact you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't see any reason to include it, if you don't consider it fundamental to your personal identity and need a partner who shares your dietary choices.

I feel like it's a myth of online dating that you need to put every single thing about yourself - esp stuff that could turn someone else off - on your profile. No need to mention that you like Big Bang Theory, either, or that you don't have a passport. That's all stuff that someone can find out after getting to know you a little, so it's not the only info they are going on.

Back when I was single, I did mention being vegetarian on my profile - but that's because it *is* fundamental to my self-identity, and I wanted to be with someone who shared that or at least who was open to it. (Course I ended up marrying a guy who periodically does Atkins, eating only meat - so there you go.)

If, after coffee, I suggest going and getting a burger and there is hemming and hawing about which restaurant because you want to know if there will be something available for you to eat, then I'm not interested. You're already too much work. If you had put it in your profile, then I would know not to bother with you. Not because you're not a great person, a great fit, a great whatever.....it really is about ME. I have no interest in dealing with food limitations.

Then you should put in YOUR profile you only want someone who will go out for burgers with you. Sounds like you are the one with the strict requirements, not OP. She can choose not to date you, if you say off the bat that you will only date meat eaters.

I could put that I only date people without food restrictions. I feel the same way about vegans that I do about gluten.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:no, you will automatically turn off a lot of people

NP here. I disagree. I think OP should list it. For many people, food and dining is a very significant part of their lives. The point of a dating profile is to find people that are compatible. If eating omnivorous foods and not having to worry about your partner's diet when choosing food options is important, then it's good to turn that person off. Why would OP want to waste time with someone that is not flexible or would be disappointed in accommodating her diet for health reasons?

OP, you should include this because the people that get turned off are not worth going on a date with for you, right? Why would you want to introduce a point of tension before you even have your first date. Find someone who can accept your diet and work with you on enjoying your time together, not someone who will stress out over how to accommodate his eating preferences with yours.

The only people I think should not include dietary restrictions are ones who have a preferred diet but will made exceptions when needed. For example, I know a few families that are vegetarian by preference, but for social events will occasionally eat meat if they cannot find vegetarian food that they like either on a menu or at someone's house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dude. People talk about vegans being obsessed with their diets? freaking carnivores whocan't even imagine dating one because of their love of food seem like they are more overly focused on that.

I'm a vegan, my husband of 20 years is not. We have had 20 wonderful years of meals and dinners out and happiness. And he is a foodie, too. But not to the point that me being a vegan sucks joy out of his life I guess

How nice for you. BTW, most people are omnivores, not carnivores.

Wow. Cool response. I think you get my point. You are just choosing not to deal with that by adding snark.

Choosing not to date a vegan is a limitation on YOUR part.

Choosing not to date a specific vegan is a different matter altogether.

OK, I'll bite. How often do you go out to eat? What are your regular restaurants? How often do you refuse to go to a restaurant because of your veganism? DO you travel extensively? Internationally? Who cooks at home? What do you make at home?

Yes please do share all of your wonderful meals and dinners out and happiness?

Fine I'll bite too. I will start with meat palaces. In the last year, I have been to incredibly fancy steakhouses or high-end seafood joints in New York, Vegas, Italy, the Bahamas, miami, and New Orleans. And California.

My husband my son and I travel about once every six weeks. We always eat out and look for local cuisine. never once have I been able to not find something enjoyable at any of these restaurants, even if it's not always as adventurous at a steakhouse as it would be at any other place

Here in the DC area, since November, we have eaten recently at the inn at Little Washington, Zaytinya, Woodlands, Osteroa Bibiana, and Ambar. I am sure there are more exciting places, but we really enjoyed these restaurants

We do do a chain restaurant for normal everyday eating out. We eat at true food once a week

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dude. People talk about vegans being obsessed with their diets? freaking carnivores whocan't even imagine dating one because of their love of food seem like they are more overly focused on that.

I'm a vegan, my husband of 20 years is not. We have had 20 wonderful years of meals and dinners out and happiness. And he is a foodie, too. But not to the point that me being a vegan sucks joy out of his life I guess

No, he isn't.

Really? This Sunday, he made some kind of super expensive three meat chili with meat from whole foods that cost more than I care to think about. ? All organic, all free range, super spiced

On the side, he made me an incredibly tasty version of spicy chili without the meat.

For Thanksgiving, here and my kid had some 6 course tasting menu that included vegan butternut squash soup, turkey carpaccio and sweetbreads. I would say those are adventurous foodie foods for foodies.

Tonight, he's making us Margharita Pizza in his pizza oven with the dough that he makes himself. And his homemade pizza sauce.

I could go on about the excellent experience restaurants we go to, but you won't believe me anyway.

I certainly have known plenty of picky eaters who are not vegan or vegetarian and they are bigger pain to deal with then veg people. Half the time, the food is too spicy or the cheese is too weird or the meat isn't cooked enough for these people

I would rather be vegan than have anything to do with turkey carpaccio.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it would matter to a lot of meat eaters, for different reasons. Akin to social drinkers preferring to date other social drinkers.

+1 I would have no interest in dating a vegan regardless of the reason for being one.

Weird.

Well then I’m weird, too because I feel the same. It would also be my preference not to date a vegetarian though with a really great guy I would consider it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:But whatever. Maybe I'm trying too hard. All I can tell you is my experience of being a vegan and being married to an omnivore foodie. We do lots of dining out and fun but it has never been an issue between us.

I guess you are making an issue for you so it would be an issue. But don't put that on vegans and vegetarians. You're the one with all the fears about oh my God I might not have the best restaurant experience and that's the most important thing in the world to me

You've convinced me, PP. You have demonstrated that vegans are kind, and considerate, and not at all defensive, and all-around wonderful people. I definitely want to date one now.

Except . . . you didn't do that at all. Quite the opposite, actually.

You better hang onto that husband of yours - he's apparently a saint.

and there is the death knell You are resorting to a personal attack without any evidence because you have nothing else.

The evidence is in your posts. Which also demonstrate your lack of knowledge.

"My husband made three-meat chili! From Whole Foods! Organic! So he must be a foodie!"

No, he's just got more money than sense.

like I said, you are only demonstrating that you lack true foodie bona fides. You ignored my other examples and also ignore the fact that foodie is not defined by only exotic foods.

some of the best restaurants in the world take normal everyday cuisines like chili and jazz them up like my husband does and sell them for $30 a plate.

all you're doing is showing that you don't really enjoy food, you just like saying you're a foodie without understanding what it means

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dude. People talk about vegans being obsessed with their diets? freaking carnivores whocan't even imagine dating one because of their love of food seem like they are more overly focused on that.

I'm a vegan, my husband of 20 years is not. We have had 20 wonderful years of meals and dinners out and happiness. And he is a foodie, too. But not to the point that me being a vegan sucks joy out of his life I guess

How nice for you. BTW, most people are omnivores, not carnivores.

Wow. Cool response. I think you get my point. You are just choosing not to deal with that by adding snark.

Choosing not to date a vegan is a limitation on YOUR part.

Choosing not to date a specific vegan is a different matter altogether.

It's a limitation alot of people have. I think op would be smart to put it in the profile. I wouldn't date a vegan - I eat too much meat too often to deal with that in a partner. I'm not judging anyone who is, I just don't want to deal with it in my own life.

Again: make sure YOUR profile says you won't date vegans, then. I would say this is your problem, not OP's - the onus is on you to make sure your needs are met.

[Anonymous]

Being a picky eater who imposes their food limitations on others is the problem, not being a vegan. There are vegans who eat a wide range of foods and cuisines while there are omnivores who will only eat small range of foods. It's a nonissue unless OP expects to be catered to constantly and/or judgemental about non-vegans.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't see any reason to include it, if you don't consider it fundamental to your personal identity and need a partner who shares your dietary choices.

I feel like it's a myth of online dating that you need to put every single thing about yourself - esp stuff that could turn someone else off - on your profile. No need to mention that you like Big Bang Theory, either, or that you don't have a passport. That's all stuff that someone can find out after getting to know you a little, so it's not the only info they are going on.

Back when I was single, I did mention being vegetarian on my profile - but that's because it *is* fundamental to my self-identity, and I wanted to be with someone who shared that or at least who was open to it. (Course I ended up marrying a guy who periodically does Atkins, eating only meat - so there you go.)

If, after coffee, I suggest going and getting a burger and there is hemming and hawing about which restaurant because you want to know if there will be something available for you to eat, then I'm not interested. You're already too much work. If you had put it in your profile, then I would know not to bother with you. Not because you're not a great person, a great fit, a great whatever.....it really is about ME. I have no interest in dealing with food limitations.

Then you should put in YOUR profile you only want someone who will go out for burgers with you. Sounds like you are the one with the strict requirements, not OP. She can choose not to date you, if you say off the bat that you will only date meat eaters.

I could put that I only date people without food restrictions. I feel the same way about vegans that I do about gluten.

Then problem solved. If you reach out to OP on Match.com or wherever, and she sees in your profile that you don't date anyone with food restrictions - she can just not reply to you, or reply explaining why you aren't a match. It's really not a problem as long as you are explicit about who you are excluding from your pool. To repeat: YOU are the one with the food requirements, not OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it would matter to a lot of meat eaters, for different reasons. Akin to social drinkers preferring to date other social drinkers.

+1 Vegan diets are so restrictive, much more so than vegetarian. As someone who loves to cook and eat out, and has had a friend who refused to eat at numerous great restaurants due to the lack of vegan options, I would prefer to date someone without these strict limitations. JMO.

If I met a committed vegan and we fell in love, would I deal? Sure. But I would prefer to know in a dating profile since it might be one of several variables that, taken together, might suggest it's not a good match.