My friend giving me cold shoulder after getting cogat back

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My oldest did okay on the COGAT. Average. Gen ed student in grade school. Now in high school. We worked with her over the summer before starting MS and moved her a year ahead on math starting in seventh grade, so she ended up with the AAP-track kids with an all-honors course load, anyway.

It all evens out in the end.

Bless you, finally, someone on DCUM who is well-adjusted and reasonable.

What? She worked with this kid over the summer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s so incredibly weird to know that people discuss their children’s personal and academic lives with their friends. I’m a mother of two—never looked to friends for validationn, advice, etc. regarding my children. Those conversations should be reserved for your spouse, educators, doctors, coaches, and possibly close family members.

You forgot to add "in my opinion." Adults can decide independently what they should share and with whom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s so incredibly weird to know that people discuss their children’s personal and academic lives with their friends. I’m a mother of two—never looked to friends for validationn, advice, etc. regarding my children. Those conversations should be reserved for your spouse, educators, doctors, coaches, and possibly close family members.

You forgot to add "in my opinion." Adults can decide independently what they should share and with whom.

It is unusual and generally considered inappropriate in US culture.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My oldest did okay on the COGAT. Average. Gen ed student in grade school. Now in high school. We worked with her over the summer before starting MS and moved her a year ahead on math starting in seventh grade, so she ended up with the AAP-track kids with an all-honors course load, anyway.

It all evens out in the end.

Bless you, finally, someone on DCUM who is well-adjusted and reasonable.

What? She worked with this kid over the summer.

Yes, a nice change from the GET INTO AAP IN 3RD GRADE OR DIE PENNILESS IN A DITCH MY SNOWFLAKE GOT A 412 ON THE COGAT IS THAT ENOUGH WEEKEND PREP SCHOOL 4EVAH bullshit that is all over this forum. The idea that kids' academic futures are wrecked based on their test performance in second grade is absurd.

[Anonymous]

Or the women who refer to themselves as "gifted moms" and don't want to be friends with the 'regular moms' or God forbid, the SPED moms.

Chances are OP is already referring to herself as a "gifted mom" which makes everyone else run screaming in the other direction.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My oldest did okay on the COGAT. Average. Gen ed student in grade school. Now in high school. We worked with her over the summer before starting MS and moved her a year ahead on math starting in seventh grade, so she ended up with the AAP-track kids with an all-honors course load, anyway.

It all evens out in the end.

Bless you, finally, someone on DCUM who is well-adjusted and reasonable.

What? She worked with this kid over the summer.

Yes, a nice change from the GET INTO AAP IN 3RD GRADE OR DIE PENNILESS IN A DITCH MY SNOWFLAKE GOT A 412 ON THE COGAT IS THAT ENOUGH WEEKEND PREP SCHOOL 4EVAH bullshit that is all over this forum. The idea that kids' academic futures are wrecked based on their test performance in second grade is absurd.

It is absurd that she made sure her kid took either Math 7 honors or algebra in 7th grade is ridiculous. WHat it means is that she was CERTAIN her kid would be on an advanced math track, despite not being on it on her own nor assessed by the school to be on it. What kid wants to do that all summer?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s so incredibly weird to know that people discuss their children’s personal and academic lives with their friends. I’m a mother of two—never looked to friends for validationn, advice, etc. regarding my children. Those conversations should be reserved for your spouse, educators, doctors, coaches, and possibly close family members.

You forgot to add "in my opinion." Adults can decide independently what they should share and with whom.

It is unusual and generally considered inappropriate in US culture.

I don't care - since I'm an immigrant and so are most of my mom friends, and children of immigrant families account for not an insignificant proportion of the AAP contingent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s so incredibly weird to know that people discuss their children’s personal and academic lives with their friends. I’m a mother of two—never looked to friends for validationn, advice, etc. regarding my children. Those conversations should be reserved for your spouse, educators, doctors, coaches, and possibly close family members.

You forgot to add "in my opinion." Adults can decide independently what they should share and with whom.

It is unusual and generally considered inappropriate in US culture.

So true. And even weirder still is that in the exact same US culture, it is not only acceptable, but expected for one to brag on a kid who makes the travel team of XYZ sport, is chosen as MVP of his Little League, or who hold's the fastest time on her swim team. Superior ATHLETIC ability and performance is to be revered and praised from the rooftops. It's just the ACADEMIC talent/ability that must be hidden and only spoken about among family in whispers as though we should all be ashamed of making another child feel inferior or "less than"... Strange cultural norm.

[Anonymous]

I would hope that she just had a busy holiday season and things will get back to normal after school is back in next week. FWIW I have two close friends and we talk about these things (scores, pool, etc) because we are all reasonable and not secretive and supportive of each other. Some of our kids are in pool, some are not, some are applying, some are not. We all like each other and just want to offer advice and friendship while other people act crazy about AAP. It's not weird to have close friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s so incredibly weird to know that people discuss their children’s personal and academic lives with their friends. I’m a mother of two—never looked to friends for validationn, advice, etc. regarding my children. Those conversations should be reserved for your spouse, educators, doctors, coaches, and possibly close family members.

You forgot to add "in my opinion." Adults can decide independently what they should share and with whom.

It is unusual and generally considered inappropriate in US culture.

So true. And even weirder still is that in the exact same US culture, it is not only acceptable, but expected for one to brag on a kid who makes the travel team of XYZ sport, is chosen as MVP of his Little League, or who hold's the fastest time on her swim team. Superior ATHLETIC ability and performance is to be revered and praised from the rooftops. It's just the ACADEMIC talent/ability that must be hidden and only spoken about among family in whispers as though we should all be ashamed of making another child feel inferior or "less than"... Strange cultural norm.

Don't know who you hang out with, but the parents I know don't brag about these things. Talking about where kids are going after school and on the weekends is not the same as talking about children's grades and scores, which is an invasion of the child's privacy.

Being on a team is pretty public because games and practices take place in public places. Grades and scores, on the other hand, are considered private information. FCPS doesn't publicly release grades and test scores because they protect the privacy of the children whose scores they are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s so incredibly weird to know that people discuss their children’s personal and academic lives with their friends. I’m a mother of two—never looked to friends for validationn, advice, etc. regarding my children. Those conversations should be reserved for your spouse, educators, doctors, coaches, and possibly close family members.

You forgot to add "in my opinion." Adults can decide independently what they should share and with whom.

It is unusual and generally considered inappropriate in US culture.

So true. And even weirder still is that in the exact same US culture, it is not only acceptable, but expected for one to brag on a kid who makes the travel team of XYZ sport, is chosen as MVP of his Little League, or who hold's the fastest time on her swim team. Superior ATHLETIC ability and performance is to be revered and praised from the rooftops. It's just the ACADEMIC talent/ability that must be hidden and only spoken about among family in whispers as though we should all be ashamed of making another child feel inferior or "less than"... Strange cultural norm.

Don't know who you hang out with, but the parents I know don't brag about these things. Talking about where kids are going after school and on the weekends is not the same as talking about children's grades and scores, which is an invasion of the child's privacy.

Being on a team is pretty public because games and practices take place in public places. Grades and scores, on the other hand, are considered private information. FCPS doesn't publicly release grades and test scores because they protect the privacy of the children whose scores they are.

Bear in mind that in athletic pursuits, losses are just as public as successes. Privacy in academics means that low scores and grades are protected from public view, unlike in sports where your win-loss record is available for all to see.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s so incredibly weird to know that people discuss their children’s personal and academic lives with their friends. I’m a mother of two—never looked to friends for validationn, advice, etc. regarding my children. Those conversations should be reserved for your spouse, educators, doctors, coaches, and possibly close family members.

You forgot to add "in my opinion." Adults can decide independently what they should share and with whom.

It is unusual and generally considered inappropriate in US culture.

So true. And even weirder still is that in the exact same US culture, it is not only acceptable, but expected for one to brag on a kid who makes the travel team of XYZ sport, is chosen as MVP of his Little League, or who hold's the fastest time on her swim team. Superior ATHLETIC ability and performance is to be revered and praised from the rooftops. It's just the ACADEMIC talent/ability that must be hidden and only spoken about among family in whispers as though we should all be ashamed of making another child feel inferior or "less than"... Strange cultural norm.

That's a huge stretch. Schools absolutely will list who won the spelling bee, won an essay contest, won a math contest, or whatever. I'd also expect parents to brag about things like that. Grades and academic accomplishments are publicly praised in US culture all of the time, in part because they are the result of effort and not just ability. The thing that is considered private and tacky is sharing IQ or ability test scores.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Or the women who refer to themselves as "gifted moms" and don't want to be friends with the 'regular moms' or God forbid, the SPED moms.

Chances are OP is already referring to herself as a "gifted mom" which makes everyone else run screaming in the other direction.

I wonder if they know it's possible to both be a gifted mom AND a SpEd mom. Some of us are quite confusing. Of course, they'd probably think we had the gifted child as a "do over" for the SpEd kid.

[Anonymous]

She needs a little time to get over it. Leave her alone for now and be friendly but don't talk about AAP with her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Or the women who refer to themselves as "gifted moms" and don't want to be friends with the 'regular moms' or God forbid, the SPED moms.

Chances are OP is already referring to herself as a "gifted mom" which makes everyone else run screaming in the other direction.

I wonder if they know it's possible to both be a gifted mom AND a SpEd mom. Some of us are quite confusing. Of course, they'd probably think we had the gifted child as a "do over" for the SpEd kid.

Ha ha! And then there are those of us with GT/LD kids - gifted, talented and learning disabled. Their little minds are probably blown away.