My friend giving me cold shoulder after getting cogat back

[Anonymous]

Maybe she just found out her husband is having an affair. Or maybe her parent is dying. Or maybe she has depression and has been able to manage until now. Who knows? Unless she comes out and says, “I don’t want to be around you because your kid is in pool,” who are you to assume why she hasn’t been in contact.

[Anonymous]

You tainted the results by giving your DC a practice test.

[Anonymous]

That's really immature if true. FWIW, my child just bombed the COGAT, well not bombed but below the cut-off. Two of my friends' children (friends of DS) have scored very well. I congratulated the moms and they commiserated with me. In no way did that affect my feelings toward them or their kids. Good for them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That's really immature if true. FWIW, my child just bombed the COGAT, well not bombed but below the cut-off. Two of my friends' children (friends of DS) have scored very well. I congratulated the moms and they commiserated with me. In no way did that affect my feelings toward them or their kids. Good for them.

You’re not evolved. You’re all a little off for discussing scores.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That's really immature if true. FWIW, my child just bombed the COGAT, well not bombed but below the cut-off. Two of my friends' children (friends of DS) have scored very well. I congratulated the moms and they commiserated with me. In no way did that affect my feelings toward them or their kids. Good for them.

You’re not evolved. You’re all a little off for discussing scores.

We are not Americans and our concept of friendship differs from yours.

[Anonymous]

Yep. Happened to me too. It’s a real thing OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This happened to me OP, very similar, with my closest neighbor and friend at the time. I moved my DD to public school in 2nd grade (my husband lost his job and we are zoned to a good school so we took DD out of private and put her in our local public school) I had not idea about aap but as soon as we switched my neighbor told me everything about it, how DD HAD to be in the program, how to prep her, and she got me all stressed out about it. My neighbor gave me 2 books that her child had completed and gave me information of an online prep site (which was too expensive for us at the time). DD did both books and she did fine and that was that. DD did really well in the test and we got a pool letter. A couple of days later my neighbor came to me and said something like "I see DD didn't do well either on the test either". I told her she did well and we had a pool letter. She looked so shocked and annoyed and I knew right then and there that this was going to be an issue. She distanced herself from me after that. We rarely talk and we used to talk every day. It has been 2 years since. It is THAT important to some people.

What happened in the end? Did your child get into AAP and hers didn't?

[Anonymous]

You don’t need friends like that anyway

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That's really immature if true. FWIW, my child just bombed the COGAT, well not bombed but below the cut-off. Two of my friends' children (friends of DS) have scored very well. I congratulated the moms and they commiserated with me. In no way did that affect my feelings toward them or their kids. Good for them.

You’re not evolved. You’re all a little off for discussing scores.

We are not Americans and our concept of friendship differs from yours.

How can that be? My concept is you don’t talk specifics about things that could be hurtful to others. Example: being in pool, being invited to a party, etc. Your friend seems to agree with me. Who is the “ours?”

[Anonymous]

Those who think they have been treated different probably haven't realized how they have come across - like nothing has changed, when everything has changed.

[Anonymous]

Maybe some of you are not coming off as innocently as you portray. And maybe the friend had a busy holiday like almost everyone else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why did you text her the score? That is really inappropriate and weird.

You’d be surprised how many people around here think it is okay to discuss their children’s grades and test scores with others.

I grew up in a culture that really discourages any sort of bragging. It was a totally new experience to move to this area and come in contact with so many people who openly brag about their children’s grades and scores and ask other parents to share in return. It’s very off-putting, especially when it is the opposite of what you were always taught is appropriate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why did you text her the score? That is really inappropriate and weird.

You’d be surprised how many people around here think it is okay to discuss their children’s grades and test scores with others.

I grew up in a culture that really discourages any sort of bragging. It was a totally new experience to move to this area and come in contact with so many people who openly brag about their children’s grades and scores and ask other parents to share in return. It’s very off-putting, especially when it is the opposite of what you were always taught is appropriate.

It used to be considered poor taste to brag in the traditional American culture, as well. (Did you hear the stories about George H.W. Bush and his mother? He had a hard time touting his own accomplishments because his mother had taught him that blowing your own horn is wrong.)

I don't think this is an ethnic thing as much as a cultural shift of some other sort. Helicopter parenting also used to be unknown. Social media may have something to do with it, as well.

[Anonymous]

Some groups of parents share all their kids scores and grades.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why did you text her the score? That is really inappropriate and weird.

+1