My friend giving me cold shoulder after getting cogat back

[Anonymous]

We both have second graders. Her child is better behaved and always seemed smarter than my child. I gave my child a practice test and be totally bombed it so I did not expect him to do well and get in pool. I excitedly texted her that my child was in pool. She said her child did not do well on the test. We are very good friends, probably my closest mom friend. She has totally blown me off over the holidays.

Did I do wrong by being excited for my child?
Should I apologize?

I know she expected her child to do well. I was not expecting my child to be in pool.

[Anonymous]

[Anonymous]

Getting excited over a cogat score is weird.

[Anonymous]

Why did you text her the score? That is really inappropriate and weird.

[Anonymous]

Welcome to the world of competition mothering. Her child did not do well.

[Anonymous]

So maybe she has had relatives visiting or she’s been out of town. Everything really isn’t about you or your kid or this stupid test and AAP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why did you text her the score? That is really inappropriate and weird.

I did not text her the score. She was the one telling me about the process. We were both wondering about the scores and letters because the referral deadline is coming up. I told her we got ours in the mail and that he was in pool. Their mail came one day later.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So maybe she has had relatives visiting or she’s been out of town. Everything really isn’t about you or your kid or this stupid test and AAP.

Last year she invited us over during the holidays. We had play dates.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So maybe she has had relatives visiting or she’s been out of town. Everything really isn’t about you or your kid or this stupid test and AAP.

Last year she invited us over during the holidays. We had play dates.

Wait, are you just going to insist on making this about you? Are you just going to argue with what anyone posts?

Sure. It’s the cold shoulder. She’s immature and can’t handle that her kid might not get into precious AAP. And she’s jealous of you and she feels inferior around you. That’s the reason you haven’t heard from her over one of these holidays.
Is that better?

[Anonymous]

Both you and your friend need to grow up. This is a textbook example of why there is so much animosity toward AAP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So maybe she has had relatives visiting or she’s been out of town. Everything really isn’t about you or your kid or this stupid test and AAP.

+1

[Anonymous]

You never tell another parent your kid’s scores, ever. This is your business, no one else’s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You never tell another parent your kid’s scores, ever. This is your business, no one else’s.

+1

This includes your kids.

[Anonymous]

You really need to take a break from Fairfax County, op.

[Anonymous]

This happened to me OP, very similar, with my closest neighbor and friend at the time. I moved my DD to public school in 2nd grade (my husband lost his job and we are zoned to a good school so we took DD out of private and put her in our local public school) I had not idea about aap but as soon as we switched my neighbor told me everything about it, how DD HAD to be in the program, how to prep her, and she got me all stressed out about it. My neighbor gave me 2 books that her child had completed and gave me information of an online prep site (which was too expensive for us at the time). DD did both books and she did fine and that was that. DD did really well in the test and we got a pool letter. A couple of days later my neighbor came to me and said something like "I see DD didn't do well either on the test either". I told her she did well and we had a pool letter. She looked so shocked and annoyed and I knew right then and there that this was going to be an issue. She distanced herself from me after that. We rarely talk and we used to talk every day. It has been 2 years since. It is THAT important to some people.