Average straight guys: tell us about your dating experiences

[Anonymous]

I'm a 5 ft 7 inch 43 year old above average looking dude who makes 82k in a boring job. I'm also divorced with two kids.

Yet, I meet, date, and sleep with gorgeous women on a biweekly basis. No idea if I'm special or if I have a different definition of gorgeous women but they approach me everywhere.

I sill say that its been like this my whole life- women have always like me- but I don't get teh trouble some dudes have who are way better on paper

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DC is a target rich environment for even an average guy. Hill staffers are everywhere looking for a decent guy and lobbying and PR firms are loaded with good looking young women. If you are average looking, have a good job, can hold an intelligent conversation and can eat with a knife and fork you can do very well.

These are exactly the same women I posted of above, looking for unicorns. They're the one's that, rather than ask, "how do you do" when they meet you, ask, "what do you do?"

No where else in America does this happen except DC.

I’ve gotten what do you do in NY.

I hate when people say this. This about how much of your life your career consumes, how much time you spent studying, deciding what to do. That's why people ask what you do, it's not necessarily about $, it's more about who you are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DC is a target rich environment for even an average guy. Hill staffers are everywhere looking for a decent guy and lobbying and PR firms are loaded with good looking young women. If you are average looking, have a good job, can hold an intelligent conversation and can eat with a knife and fork you can do very well.

These are exactly the same women I posted of above, looking for unicorns. They're the one's that, rather than ask, "how do you do" when they meet you, ask, "what do you do?"

No where else in America does this happen except DC.

I’ve gotten what do you do in NY.

I hate when people say this. This about how much of your life your career consumes, how much time you spent studying, deciding what to do. That's why people ask what you do, it's not necessarily about $, it's more about who you are.

No, not in DC. It's a more polite form of asking, "who do you work for and what can you do for me?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DC is a target rich environment for even an average guy. Hill staffers are everywhere looking for a decent guy and lobbying and PR firms are loaded with good looking young women. If you are average looking, have a good job, can hold an intelligent conversation and can eat with a knife and fork you can do very well.

These are exactly the same women I posted of above, looking for unicorns. They're the one's that, rather than ask, "how do you do" when they meet you, ask, "what do you do?"

No where else in America does this happen except DC.

I’ve gotten what do you do in NY.

I hate when people say this. This about how much of your life your career consumes, how much time you spent studying, deciding what to do. That's why people ask what you do, it's not necessarily about $, it's more about who you are.

that is such a myth about DC. iI have lived her for over 20 years, dated plenty of men and married a man I met in DC. I have never dated men or met people in general who lead with that question. Can we please let that myth die?
Men need confidence more than anything in DC.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DC is a target rich environment for even an average guy. Hill staffers are everywhere looking for a decent guy and lobbying and PR firms are loaded with good looking young women. If you are average looking, have a good job, can hold an intelligent conversation and can eat with a knife and fork you can do very well.

These are exactly the same women I posted of above, looking for unicorns. They're the one's that, rather than ask, "how do you do" when they meet you, ask, "what do you do?"

No where else in America does this happen except DC.

I’ve gotten what do you do in NY.

I hate when people say this. This about how much of your life your career consumes, how much time you spent studying, deciding what to do. That's why people ask what you do, it's not necessarily about $, it's more about who you are.

No, not in DC. It's a more polite form of asking, "who do you work for and what can you do for me?"

I don't agree. Everyone in DC thinks they are special with this- as you can read every Sunday in "Date Lab". I am from NY and live in DC, and have been hit on in other areas as well. Occupation always comes up early- it's a huge part of someones life and also an easy conversation starter.

[Anonymous]

Average Guy here. 32, 5'8", normal weight, 130k. I've traveled to every major US city and 40 countries and DC is one of the hardest places for me. I'm mostly socializing at bars, concerts, and sporting events. I generally find women in DC to be standoffish and it's hard to break their shell. There are also not many attractive women in DC when compared to international hotspots like NY/Miami/LA or even southern cities like Charleston/Atlanta. It seems like the cute women here know they don't have much competition and are immediately dismissive if the guy doesn't meet the initial 6'2" lobbyist qualifications. A lot of my friends try to orbit attractive women with BFs under the guise of friendship and then slide in once their relationship fails. It works for them about 10% of the time. Honestly, the best way to attract women for an average DC guy is to buy a boat.

My average guy friends that tend to do the best in DC are typically the political wonks or those passionate about social justice causes. DC is obviously the epicenter for this type of person and they tend to pair off with other average socially conscious mates. Together they can discuss their causes of choice and attend cultural events. These guys always rave to me about DC dating, because honestly they don't fit in anywhere else. DC is probably the only place where you can talk about Supreme Court nominees or Obamacare in a bar and not appear totally weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your problem:

1. 80% of the women are chasing 20% of the men.
2. You think you are in the 80% of the men who are not being chased ("average straight guy... average looks... average guy who isn’t a player...")

Solution:

Stop being average.

1. Go get jacked. Most of the guys I see are skinnyfat.
2. Dress well. Most guys I see are slobs.
3. Improve your social skills. Most guys are inept, especially at speaking to women.
4. Do interesting things. Most guys are boring.

If you have muscles, are well dressed, are chatty and confident, and have an interesting life, you will be in the top 5% of men.

Now enough of your defeatism. Go forth and improve yourself!

I think this is very good advice if your goal is to improve the quality/quantity of dates. In general:
1. Muscles are relatively easy to put on, if a guy puts in the work.
2. Dressing well is the easiest way for a woman to pretend you are more successful or more attractive than you are, which will pay off a lot of dividends in the dating market.
3. Speaking to women is probably the wrong focus. Asking them questions about themselves is better.
4. Meh. Do things you like.

I say this as someone who focused on a lot of these things after my divorce. I don't think my new girlfriend cares about any of them, but it certainly helped the dating process before I met her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a 5 ft 7 inch 43 year old above average looking dude who makes 82k in a boring job. I'm also divorced with two kids.

Yet, I meet, date, and sleep with gorgeous women on a biweekly basis. No idea if I'm special or if I have a different definition of gorgeous women but they approach me everywhere.

I sill say that its been like this my whole life- women have always like me- but I don't get teh trouble some dudes have who are way better on paper

my belief is that guys either have the magic with women or they don't, and if you do then you keep it your whole life. It has something to do with confidence but it's hard to say what it is. A lot of seemingly inferior men have it and women are all over them.

I don't naturally have that magic but I eventually did OK by working at it. If I became single again I would have to again work hard at it -- gorgeous women wouldn't approach me, I would have to do online dating or join clubs or whatever.

I have a relative who was married three times, broke up with his partner when he was 76, and within a few months he was dating a 28 year old woman who adored him. That's the magic. He used to be good looking but at 76 he wasn't particularly. (He broke up with her to go back to his partner because a 28 year old is f'in exhausting when you're 76).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

My average guy friends that tend to do the best in DC are typically the political wonks or those passionate about social justice causes. DC is obviously the epicenter for this type of person and they tend to pair off with other average socially conscious mates. Together they can discuss their causes of choice and attend cultural events. These guys always rave to me about DC dating, because honestly they don't fit in anywhere else. DC is probably the only place where you can talk about Supreme Court nominees or Obamacare in a bar and not appear totally weird.

I used to get some women like this but now that politics is unbearably toxic I wouldn't want to do it any more. It would be like signing up for a stay in a mental institution to date someone who is freaking out about politics all the time in the current environment. I work in politics and believe in certain forms of social justice but I'd prefer to date someone with a healthy distance and perspective on the whole mess.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Average Guy here. 32, 5'8", normal weight, 130k. I've traveled to every major US city and 40 countries and DC is one of the hardest places for me. I'm mostly socializing at bars, concerts, and sporting events. I generally find women in DC to be standoffish and it's hard to break their shell. There are also not many attractive women in DC when compared to international hotspots like NY/Miami/LA or even southern cities like Charleston/Atlanta. It seems like the cute women here know they don't have much competition and are immediately dismissive if the guy doesn't meet the initial 6'2" lobbyist qualifications. A lot of my friends try to orbit attractive women with BFs under the guise of friendship and then slide in once their relationship fails. It works for them about 10% of the time. Honestly, the best way to attract women for an average DC guy is to buy a boat.

This is also very true. It helps for guys to reduce their looks standard if they are dating in DC as compared to a lot of places. Proceed on the assumption that you're going for a 5-6 not a 7-8.

[Anonymous]

When I was single I was never good at the bar scene because I was never good with the normal one on one starter conversation even though it was a necessity. I was so much better in a group setting and a group conversation because I have a pretty wide range of interests, a decent sense of humor and I'm a decent extrovert. If there was an attractive woman there that I didn't know I could tell if she had any interest in me if she got really engaged in the discussion I was very engaged in. The key was the eye contact. If it was there, as the group was breaking up I'd tell her how much I enjoyed the discussion and if she said she enjoyed it to I'd then say that I hoped we could continue it at some point.

[Anonymous]

I am not average; I am a bit taller than average and a bit heavier (6'2"), 235 lbs. My salary is decent but not great (180K), and I am a bit older (widowed, 55, 1 kid).

What I have found is on-line dating works; not app-dating, like tinder, but places where I set up a profile, I can tell a story about who I am; my best attributes are my brain and humor. I put that in my profile. And I am a nerd in the 80's sense. Good in math and science (I am a scientist).

I could probably get laid every night with a different women. Except, I can't go out every night (DD, while 16, has some issues and I need to be there for her). Also, it does not work quite as well as it did before I met my wife (in my 20's, there was no limits; now there is -- recovery time is measured in hours not microseconds).

Because of my limited time, I find I prefer to be picky. I do not want to go out with people just to have sex. I am looking for a partner. I found I can be choosy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am not average; I am a bit taller than average and a bit heavier (6'2"), 235 lbs. My salary is decent but not great (180K), and I am a bit older (widowed, 55, 1 kid).

What I have found is on-line dating works; not app-dating, like tinder, but places where I set up a profile, I can tell a story about who I am; my best attributes are my brain and humor. I put that in my profile. And I am a nerd in the 80's sense. Good in math and science (I am a scientist).

I could probably get laid every night with a different women. Except, I can't go out every night (DD, while 16, has some issues and I need to be there for her). Also, it does not work quite as well as it did before I met my wife (in my 20's, there was no limits; now there is -- recovery time is measured in hours not microseconds).

Because of my limited time, I find I prefer to be picky. I do not want to go out with people just to have sex. I am looking for a partner. I found I can be choosy.

what age of women are you dating?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Cool story, bro. What's your point? Are you single or did you finally find someone?

The reality is that average looking people need to lower their standards to average looking people. It isn't hard to find someone when you have realistic expectations.

You should know about that!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your problem:

1. 80% of the women are chasing 20% of the men.
2. You think you are in the 80% of the men who are not being chased ("average straight guy... average looks... average guy who isn’t a player...")

Solution:

Stop being average.

1. Go get jacked. Most of the guys I see are skinnyfat.
2. Dress well. Most guys I see are slobs.
3. Improve your social skills. Most guys are inept, especially at speaking to women.
4. Do interesting things. Most guys are boring.

If you have muscles, are well dressed, are chatty and confident, and have an interesting life, you will be in the top 5% of men.

Now enough of your defeatism. Go forth and improve yourself!

This nonsense makes me envy gay guys

Seriously could you image a thread that told women something like this? It really show you how egotistical these women are. DC is know for very average women(3-5’s) who think they are the bomb.