Average straight guys: tell us about your dating experiences

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DC is a target rich environment for even an average guy. Hill staffers are everywhere looking for a decent guy and lobbying and PR firms are loaded with good looking young women. If you are average looking, have a good job, can hold an intelligent conversation and can eat with a knife and fork you can do very well.

These are exactly the same women I posted of above, looking for unicorns. They're the one's that, rather than ask, "how do you do" when they meet you, ask, "what do you do?"

No where else in America does this happen except DC.

Best response = “you”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why should women be attracted to men that cannot support their portion of a household in DC?

No one in this thread has suggested they should. BTW, his bank account is exactly like his endowment. You cant know how big it is until you give him a chance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DC is a target rich environment for even an average guy. Hill staffers are everywhere looking for a decent guy and lobbying and PR firms are loaded with good looking young women. If you are average looking, have a good job, can hold an intelligent conversation and can eat with a knife and fork you can do very well.

These are exactly the same women I posted of above, looking for unicorns. They're the one's that, rather than ask, "how do you do" when they meet you, ask, "what do you do?"

No where else in America does this happen except DC.

An average-looking guy with a good job who can hold a conversation and eat with utensils is a unicorn ?! DC is filled with thousands of men that match this description.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your problem:

1. 80% of the women are chasing 20% of the men.
2. You think you are in the 80% of the men who are not being chased ("average straight guy... average looks... average guy who isn’t a player...")

Solution:

Stop being average.

1. Go get jacked. Most of the guys I see are skinnyfat.
2. Dress well. Most guys I see are slobs.
3. Improve your social skills. Most guys are inept, especially at speaking to women.
4. Do interesting things. Most guys are boring.

If you have muscles, are well dressed, are chatty and confident, and have an interesting life, you will be in the top 5% of men.

Now enough of your defeatism. Go forth and improve yourself!

This nonsense makes me envy gay guys

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why should women be attracted to men that cannot support their portion of a household in DC?

who says that? Also what happened to equality? Menhave had toaupport women for millennia

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your problem:

1. 80% of the women are chasing 20% of the men.
2. You think you are in the 80% of the men who are not being chased ("average straight guy... average looks... average guy who isn’t a player...")

Solution:

Stop being average.

1. Go get jacked. Most of the guys I see are skinnyfat.
2. Dress well. Most guys I see are slobs.
3. Improve your social skills. Most guys are inept, especially at speaking to women.
4. Do interesting things. Most guys are boring.

If you have muscles, are well dressed, are chatty and confident, and have an interesting life, you will be in the top 5% of men.

Now enough of your defeatism. Go forth and improve yourself!

This nonsense makes me envy gay guys

Because gay guys that do well on the dating scene aren't fit, well dressed, socially adept, and interesting? Right ...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm 5'9" and average looking. A nice guy and the boy next door type. I had one girlfriend in high school. One year break; two in college (each 2 years, I was in college for 5 years). One post-college; dated for 5 years. Took a break for 5 years and met the woman who would become my wife at 33. Married at 37. Now 53 with 2 kids.

You met your DW 20 years ago. Smartphones didn't even exist then, and online dating was in its infancy. Today's single people have a lot more options, which can be a good and a bad thing.

True, but I'm still involved in community theater and I can still tell you that single straight men who join community theater often find dates with the larger female population within the arts community. I know of at least 6 couples within the last 2-3 years who met through community theater, almost always when the guy did his first show. Half of those couples are married or engaged. The others are in committed exclusive relationships after having met through theater. For single guys, even average guys, it's a great place to meet single available women where the odds are in your favor.

What can you do to get involved in community theatre if you're not an actor?

'

Community theaters always need tech folks. Each show typically has a person in charge of various areas that need extra hands to help. The lead for each facet of a show needs to be a skilled person in the area, but the teams that work for the designer are often comprised of people who have varying levels of skill down to completely unskilled helpers. I have been involved in many cases where we teach people what they need to know on the job, e.g. when you show up. If you don't have experience, they usually ask you to come to work parties (build and setup events) or come to several rehearsals to learn what you'll need to know.

For example, the lighting designer needs people who can climb up a ladder, hang a light on a rod, tighten the nut, plug it in, and point it at a person standing on the stage. Sound designers need people to carry a speaker across the room and them string cables to it and tape down the cable to the floor. Set designers need people who can hold a flat (a 4x8 wooden panel with an image painted on it) up while another person screws it to a beam or wall with a screw gun (cordless drill). Props people need someone to help them find "a feather duster, a hand mirror, a rolling pin, a pink pillow, a stuffed bear, etc" and then help set up a station where the props will be located so that the actors can find them. Stage crew often have a list of random duties to make a show run smooth (carry this chair on and put the feet on the blue X's, Go on stage and move the table from the brown tape marks to the green ones. Go and pick up all the newspapers that the actor threw on the floor in the last scene).

An easy way to get your feet wet is to show up to usher a show. They train you when you show up (usually about 30 minutes before patrons are let in), you hand out programs, tell people how to get to seats (if assigned), help people who need assistance, and sometimes have to serve refreshments at intermission. Then you actually get to sit and watch the show. You'll meet a few people, like those who run box office or sell tickets, those who are house managers, running the front of house. You can also get your feet wet by volunteering for a work party where they are building or painting or preparing a set for the show. They always need extra hands, both skilled and unskilled (although if you are skilled with tools you are worth your weight in gold). And there, you will often meet many of the actors, and the skilled designers (director, producer, light/sound/set designers, props manager, etc).

If you aren't sure, look for a community theater near you, visit their web-site and look for "ways to volunteer" there usually is a way to contact the theater for that. If you can't find anything, let me know what part of town you live in and I can look for theaters near you and contact information.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm 5'9" and average looking. A nice guy and the boy next door type. I had one girlfriend in high school. One year break; two in college (each 2 years, I was in college for 5 years). One post-college; dated for 5 years. Took a break for 5 years and met the woman who would become my wife at 33. Married at 37. Now 53 with 2 kids.

You met your DW 20 years ago. Smartphones didn't even exist then, and online dating was in its infancy. Today's single people have a lot more options, which can be a good and a bad thing.

I met my DW 20 years ago through OLD. Go me!

Incidentally, OLD had the same problem back then as now: a guy posts a profile, he gets three responses; a girl posts a profile, she gets three hundred responses (of which 297 are creepy but oh well).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm 5'9" and average looking. A nice guy and the boy next door type. I had one girlfriend in high school. One year break; two in college (each 2 years, I was in college for 5 years). One post-college; dated for 5 years. Took a break for 5 years and met the woman who would become my wife at 33. Married at 37. Now 53 with 2 kids.

You met your DW 20 years ago. Smartphones didn't even exist then, and online dating was in its infancy. Today's single people have a lot more options, which can be a good and a bad thing.

True, but I'm still involved in community theater and I can still tell you that single straight men who join community theater often find dates with the larger female population within the arts community. I know of at least 6 couples within the last 2-3 years who met through community theater, almost always when the guy did his first show. Half of those couples are married or engaged. The others are in committed exclusive relationships after having met through theater. For single guys, even average guys, it's a great place to meet single available women where the odds are in your favor.

What can you do to get involved in community theatre if you're not an actor?

'

Community theaters always need tech folks. Each show typically has a person in charge of various areas that need extra hands to help. The lead for each facet of a show needs to be a skilled person in the area, but the teams that work for the designer are often comprised of people who have varying levels of skill down to completely unskilled helpers. I have been involved in many cases where we teach people what they need to know on the job, e.g. when you show up. If you don't have experience, they usually ask you to come to work parties (build and setup events) or come to several rehearsals to learn what you'll need to know.

For example, the lighting designer needs people who can climb up a ladder, hang a light on a rod, tighten the nut, plug it in, and point it at a person standing on the stage. Sound designers need people to carry a speaker across the room and them string cables to it and tape down the cable to the floor. Set designers need people who can hold a flat (a 4x8 wooden panel with an image painted on it) up while another person screws it to a beam or wall with a screw gun (cordless drill). Props people need someone to help them find "a feather duster, a hand mirror, a rolling pin, a pink pillow, a stuffed bear, etc" and then help set up a station where the props will be located so that the actors can find them. Stage crew often have a list of random duties to make a show run smooth (carry this chair on and put the feet on the blue X's, Go on stage and move the table from the brown tape marks to the green ones. Go and pick up all the newspapers that the actor threw on the floor in the last scene).

An easy way to get your feet wet is to show up to usher a show. They train you when you show up (usually about 30 minutes before patrons are let in), you hand out programs, tell people how to get to seats (if assigned), help people who need assistance, and sometimes have to serve refreshments at intermission. Then you actually get to sit and watch the show. You'll meet a few people, like those who run box office or sell tickets, those who are house managers, running the front of house. You can also get your feet wet by volunteering for a work party where they are building or painting or preparing a set for the show. They always need extra hands, both skilled and unskilled (although if you are skilled with tools you are worth your weight in gold). And there, you will often meet many of the actors, and the skilled designers (director, producer, light/sound/set designers, props manager, etc).

If you aren't sure, look for a community theater near you, visit their web-site and look for "ways to volunteer" there usually is a way to contact the theater for that. If you can't find anything, let me know what part of town you live in and I can look for theaters near you and contact information.

Thanks very much for this. A Google search is showing community theatres all over the area. I do have carpentry skills, my own tools, even a pick up truck, so we'll see if I'm worth my weight in gold!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I met my wife through community theater (something I had done in high school and college). I decided to get back involved in theater and it was good. There are many more women including many single women in community theater than there are men. I met my now-wife in my first production. We started dating about a month after the show closed. Single straight guys joining theater groups often have a big selection of available women to date.

That's an interesting idea! I'd never thought of that. I like to watch plays from time to time, but I'm not an actor/drama kind of person.

The only other thing I could think of with a good female-male ratio was yoga class.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I met my wife through community theater (something I had done in high school and college). I decided to get back involved in theater and it was good. There are many more women including many single women in community theater than there are men. I met my now-wife in my first production. We started dating about a month after the show closed. Single straight guys joining theater groups often have a big selection of available women to date.

That's an interesting idea! I'd never thought of that. I like to watch plays from time to time, but I'm not an actor/drama kind of person.

The only other thing I could think of with a good female-male ratio was yoga class.

Not to bust on the community theater people but I know several people (men and women) who are in community theater. I agree there are way more women than men but... they’re an interesting type of people. I’d never date any of the ones I know. Just not my thing. Not saying it isn’t yours but that hobby attracts a certain type.

Back to the issue at hand, I do find a lot of guys competing against a single woman’s desire to be alone. She has to like your company better than she likes her own. The emotionally healthier the woman, the more she likes herself. That’s a hurdle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I met my wife through community theater (something I had done in high school and college). I decided to get back involved in theater and it was good. There are many more women including many single women in community theater than there are men. I met my now-wife in my first production. We started dating about a month after the show closed. Single straight guys joining theater groups often have a big selection of available women to date.

That's an interesting idea! I'd never thought of that. I like to watch plays from time to time, but I'm not an actor/drama kind of person.

The only other thing I could think of with a good female-male ratio was yoga class.

Not to bust on the community theater people but I know several people (men and women) who are in community theater. I agree there are way more women than men but... they’re an interesting type of people. I’d never date any of the ones I know. Just not my thing. Not saying it isn’t yours but that hobby attracts a certain type.

Back to the issue at hand, I do find a lot of guys competing against a single woman’s desire to be alone. She has to like your company better than she likes her own. The emotionally healthier the woman, the more she likes herself. That’s a hurdle.

Even if she is “alone” she’s still having booty calls and the guys are competing to be one of her booty calls

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your problem:

1. 80% of the women are chasing 20% of the men.
2. You think you are in the 80% of the men who are not being chased ("average straight guy... average looks... average guy who isn’t a player...")

Solution:

Stop being average.

1. Go get jacked. Most of the guys I see are skinnyfat.
2. Dress well. Most guys I see are slobs.
3. Improve your social skills. Most guys are inept, especially at speaking to women.
4. Do interesting things. Most guys are boring.

If you have muscles, are well dressed, are chatty and confident, and have an interesting life, you will be in the top 5% of men.

Now enough of your defeatism. Go forth and improve yourself!

And 80% of the men are chasing 20% of the women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your problem:

1. 80% of the women are chasing 20% of the men.
2. You think you are in the 80% of the men who are not being chased ("average straight guy... average looks... average guy who isn’t a player...")

Solution:

Stop being average.

1. Go get jacked. Most of the guys I see are skinnyfat.
2. Dress well. Most guys I see are slobs.
3. Improve your social skills. Most guys are inept, especially at speaking to women.
4. Do interesting things. Most guys are boring.

If you have muscles, are well dressed, are chatty and confident, and have an interesting life, you will be in the top 5% of men.

Now enough of your defeatism. Go forth and improve yourself!

And 80% of the men are chasing 20% of the women.

other way around. The women are prepared to share desirable men than go for the 80%. I knew wonejsho knowingly got involved with married men or pretended they didn’t know and act shocked that having sex in hotels and stairwells wasn’t a giant clue. The worst part is these women lose their looks and can o longer get these guys then they settle for a guy and resent him

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DC is a target rich environment for even an average guy. Hill staffers are everywhere looking for a decent guy and lobbying and PR firms are loaded with good looking young women. If you are average looking, have a good job, can hold an intelligent conversation and can eat with a knife and fork you can do very well.

These are exactly the same women I posted of above, looking for unicorns. They're the one's that, rather than ask, "how do you do" when they meet you, ask, "what do you do?"

No where else in America does this happen except DC.

Best response = “you”

+1 - you beat me to it! Better be prepared to continue the assertive banter though in order to close the deal - you can't just be a one-liner.