Refusing carpool/not wanting to give another child a ride

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What comes around goes around. You are already going, it's NBD to pick up a kid nearby. It's the right thing to do and you know it.

There will come a day where you need help - hopefully you don't run into someone like yourself when that time comes.

Nah- The Right Thing To Do is a two way street- other mom didn't even offer to also share the driving responsibilities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nah. Just tell them that your schedule is unpredictable and that you can't commit to being a reliable car pool partner. Fin.

+1

I wouldn’t do it either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When I was a kid I had hebrew school twice a week with a lot of kids from school. My mom discovered that we were in front or back of this other girl both going and coming home from hebrew school. Even though I didn't like her much, my mom arranged to carpool with her. And then my mom discovered how much worse my non-stop talking could be once she was stuck in a car with Julie who actually talked MORE than I did. But we carpooled with her for three years.

Except we always forgot her. We'd always get a couple of blocks past her house and one of us would say "We forgot Julie!"

Thanks for the memories, OP.

Currently driving my kids and one of their classmates. The amount of noise/chatter in the car went up 500 percent.

[Anonymous]

I’m with you OP. I only want to drive my kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What comes around goes around. You are already going, it's NBD to pick up a kid nearby. It's the right thing to do and you know it.

There will come a day where you need help - hopefully you don't run into someone like yourself when that time comes.

Your laughable attempt at a guilt trip has no power over us non-doormats.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes you are terrible.

Life is not tit for tat.

Someday you will need something and have nothing to offer in return but nobody will be there for you. You will wonder why. I won't wonder why.

And neither do yours.

[Anonymous]

OP, you are entitled to have a preference. And act on it. For any 'ol reason at all. You should not feel obligated - - as long as --- previously, you weren't spineless and gave the impression you would help.

[Anonymous]

I LOVE driving my middle schooler and her friends.
THey talk as if I'm not there! I learn a lot!!

[Anonymous]

Can't believe the other parent didn't offer to drive at all.

Last year a random parent I didn't know "got in a jam" and I was asked by a member of our carpool if we could drive the child. We did that for 4 months with no thank you, no driving from the other family, no gift card to say thanks a lot, nothing. Just tons of texts, "Larla will need a pick up this morning", "Larla will be a little late", etc etc. It added more noise and stress to my life.

One day the dad was out front when we picked up Larla and I realized he didn't even know my name.

Then before school started last fall he texted us about starting up the carpool again. It felt SO GOOD to woman up and say, no, if you're not going to drive, you can't be in our car pool. I know they think I'm a bitch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What comes around goes around. You are already going, it's NBD to pick up a kid nearby. It's the right thing to do and you know it.

There will come a day where you need help - hopefully you don't run into someone like yourself when that time comes.

Nah- The Right Thing To Do is a two way street- other mom didn't even offer to also share the driving responsibilities.

Well, probably she can't due to work. My friend is a SAHM and is transporting another mom's kid to an activity. The other mom can't carpool (works those hours), but has taken my friend's kid with her on weekends so my friend can have date nights, given her gift baskets, sports tickets etc. Be kind OP when you can afford to be, and you may find yourself pleasantly surprised by the result.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Since you asked...I dont know why you couldn't just be helpful and do this. At some point you are going to need the help of others. What goes around comes around and its always good to build up some good will in the kid logistics department.

Because this isn't a once and done thing. It's twice a week, eight times a month, for at least 6-8 months. I wouldn't agree to it either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What comes around goes around. You are already going, it's NBD to pick up a kid nearby. It's the right thing to do and you know it.

There will come a day where you need help - hopefully you don't run into someone like yourself when that time comes.

Nah- The Right Thing To Do is a two way street- other mom didn't even offer to also share the driving responsibilities.

Well, probably she can't due to work. My friend is a SAHM and is transporting another mom's kid to an activity. The other mom can't carpool (works those hours), but has taken my friend's kid with her on weekends so my friend can have date nights, given her gift baskets, sports tickets etc. Be kind OP when you can afford to be, and you may find yourself pleasantly surprised by the result.

Not everyone would be nearly as thoughtful - as exemplified up thread. You take care of whats yours and I'll take care of mine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What comes around goes around. You are already going, it's NBD to pick up a kid nearby. It's the right thing to do and you know it.

There will come a day where you need help - hopefully you don't run into someone like yourself when that time comes.

Nah- The Right Thing To Do is a two way street- other mom didn't even offer to also share the driving responsibilities.

Well, probably she can't due to work. My friend is a SAHM and is transporting another mom's kid to an activity. The other mom can't carpool (works those hours), but has taken my friend's kid with her on weekends so my friend can have date nights, given her gift baskets, sports tickets etc. Be kind OP when you can afford to be, and you may find yourself pleasantly surprised by the result.

Not everyone would be nearly as thoughtful - as exemplified up thread. You take care of whats yours and I'll take care of mine.

What a cheery view on life and society. I hope you never need assistance one day, because then you will find out what community is all about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here, I appreciate everybody's input (even those calling me selfish...) I guess part of my aggravation is that I am self reliant and am rearranging my schedule so that my child can make it. Obviously I'd love it if somebody else could miraculously take care of the transportation problem. If the other parents offered to carpool for real, rather than just asking for a ride, I would be more inclined to agree. Instead I feel like I'm being taken advantage of, and coordination isn't always as straightforward as just telling somebody you can't drive their kid--they have to confirm that they've received the message, or else you've ended up stranding their child.

Thanks again for taking the time to read and offer an opinion.

My sister in law almost died when she was 14 in a carpool accident situation. She spent 4 months at the hospital. One of the other kids died. Terrible. I would never ever carpool. Things happen and I could not forgive myself if something like this happened to my family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What comes around goes around. You are already going, it's NBD to pick up a kid nearby. It's the right thing to do and you know it.

There will come a day where you need help - hopefully you don't run into someone like yourself when that time comes.

Nah- The Right Thing To Do is a two way street- other mom didn't even offer to also share the driving responsibilities.

Well, probably she can't due to work. My friend is a SAHM and is transporting another mom's kid to an activity. The other mom can't carpool (works those hours), but has taken my friend's kid with her on weekends so my friend can have date nights, given her gift baskets, sports tickets etc. Be kind OP when you can afford to be, and you may find yourself pleasantly surprised by the result.

Not everyone would be nearly as thoughtful - as exemplified up thread. You take care of whats yours and I'll take care of mine.

What a cheery view on life and society. I hope you never need assistance one day, because then you will find out what community is all about.

Please stop trying to guilt me and others into doing free work for you. If you're a SAHP you have all the time in the world to chauffeur your child around. If you're a working parent then you (should) have the money to hire someone to do it for you.