Refusing carpool/not wanting to give another child a ride

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hate f@cking carpools. I work from home in a flexible schedule and I’m a stickler for being on time.

I tried it once for one season years ago and could not wait for the season to end.

Now my kids do a sport where nobody in the area goes so I don’t have to deal with it.

Since I did have such flexibility, I was taken advantage of quite a bit. I purposely took my job over something that paid more/longer hours so I could be with my kids after school. So I wouldn’t worry- just say “no”.

Same-- I hate carpools for the same reason.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand the 'karma' and all that.

The woman is a user. She doesn't work and is not offering a reciprocal ride.

Travel soccer practice is 3 times per week. Two ways after a 90 minute practice.

Most people are rushing out the door--trying to do dinner first or get home after in time for it and bed, etc. Homework.

AGAIN, THE WOMAN ASKING HAS NO PHYSICAL LIMITATION OR NEED. She just wants OP to do it.

I don't like carpools so I don't do them. But, if I know somebody has an illness/death/trip, etc. I have zero problem taking their child to and from practice. If a kid isn't picked up--I often wait with them, call their parent, etc.

It's not all or nothing---oh if you don't take this kid every practice for free, on your time--boy--you will really be screwed later when you need something. Ahhh-no. The free-loader is the one with the problem.

OP said the woman does work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous[/quote wrote:

I blame you for digging up a 6 month old thread, just so you can make yourself feel better because you're like the awful OP.

Hey there, why don't you post your private email online, so that the rest of us freeloaders can get in touch with you. You are going to help, right? Not turn us down? I mean you have such a generous heart, you moron. I bet you are that freeloader who wanted free rides in the first place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Am I terrible?

"Terrible" is too strong. I'd go with "not great."

Why? Because she is not a doormat? The other family wants her to do something for them with no offer of returning the favor. It woukd be different if the family had an illness or something, but there are lots of people who are just looking to make thier lives easier at the cost of others.

Op,

You are fine. If you want, offer to share the driving. But it is also ok for you to want to just take care of your own kid. The people who believe in all the it takes a village crap are usually the ones that take more than they give.

Helping someone out is not "being a doormat." It's being kind. That's what kind people do. At some point in our lives, we will all be in need of help and need to rely on the kindness of others. I simply cannot believe all the selfish assholes that need something in return before you would do something nice and totally within your ability to do (with minimal output - you're going there anyway). Very disheartening and shows an utter decline in civility, kindness, and neighborliness. You're all awful.

Did you read that the asker wasn’t going to drive at all? And that it’s for the whole year? Op would’ve looked like a doormat, because it wasn’t a village situation, it was a USER situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm feeling really guilty and am trying to figure out if it's warranted or not. My child attends the same twice a week after school activity as another child, which is 5 minutes away from school. We pretty far from school (20-30 minutes depending on traffic). The parent of the other child is asking if I can drive the other child. Am I a terrible person if I say no? We all work, but I have the flexibility of crazy hours (ie starting work at 630) so that I can transport my child. I don't like the responsibility of having to coordinate (if my child is sick or we are out of town), but when it comes down to it, I just don't feel like it because there is nothing in it for me. Am I terrible?

Why wouldn’t you? I give kids rides all the time everywhere whether I want to or not. Part of being in a community.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Since you asked...I dont know why you couldnt just be helpful and do this. At some point you are going to need the help of others. What goes around comes around and its always good to build up some good will in the kid logistics department.

That's just not true.