How to tell a child that she is not going to Ivy?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are some "crazy" people out there who don't think an ivy league education is worth the price. Father may feel this way too.

your ivy education is failing you. you completely missed the pt

[Anonymous]

" Yes, you'll have to cosign and go the PLUS loan route."

Can someone making $50k/year cosign $240k worth of loans?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are some "crazy" people out there who don't think an ivy league education is worth the price. Father may feel this way too.

your ivy education is failing you. you completely missed the pt

That the dad is a jerk? Don't worry, I got that. Perhaps there may be more to the story.

[Anonymous]

I got into my dream school, back in the day, with no financial aid but loans, in a middle class family.

I went to the amazing liberal arts school that gave me a scholarship. I graduated with no loans--awfully handy when starting out and when it came time for grad school. I ended up marrying someone I met at that school too.

Maybe your DD just needs a little bit more time to process it, but at the end of the day, she will be fine. You don't need to feel guilty about this.

[Anonymous]

I, too, went to the tier-two school that gave me a free ride over the more prestigious one that my parents could not afford. It is annoying at times to have to ignore the assumptions of education snobs, but I do live the same lifestyle and have all the same opportunities and career success as those who have a more prestigious degree.

[Anonymous]

I went to a good state school instead of the Ivy I got into because of cost. No regrets. I had a great 4 years, good career, happy life.

Go with the full ride and save anything you can put toward college for grad school or to pay expenses so she can take good unpaid summer experiences.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My heart is bleeding now. Daughter got into her dream school. She worked so hard for the last 10 years, no Bs at all since 1st grade. A lot of extracurriculars, varsity sports, volunteering, working every summer, national and international awards, 99% ACT and SAT, 4.0/4.5 GPA, etc. She got there all by herself, without any tutors, no prep courses for SAT, nothing.

We are in that situation that we are not qualified for financial aid (well, they offered $15k for next year out of $75k). My husband and I are separated and I am making only $50k a year.

I saved $20k in 529 and can pull some money from emergency savings, but it is not nearly enough even for the first year.

She has an option to go with a full ride to a great school, or a full tuition+fees in the state flagship university. And she knows that these are great choices and most kids don't have them.

If there's a money fight with the ex, and a choice between Harvard and a really mediocre, non-flagship state school: the best strategy might be to go sell a kidney or do whatever else is necessary to go to Harvard.

If the choice is between, say, Harvard and going to Duke for free, and there's just no way to get enough money out of Harvard: Duke is a great university, too. There is absolutely nothing wrong with going to Duke for free. In some ways, being a cherished merit scholarship recipient at a school like Duke might be a lot more fun and rewarding than being just another lottery winner chair filler at Harvard.

[Anonymous]

OP, it’s fine. You and your kid need to be practical. It sounds like you don’t have a lot of assets or earning power to help your kid with loans and that’s a huge burden to come out with just an undergrad degree. I got into Harvard, Yale and Princeton, no aid offered, and instead went to my state school on a full ride. My parents felt bad too. Had a great time, education, and life. Grad school might be worth those loans, when your kid is more mature and can better make those decisions. Feel better. Buck up for your kid. Be sympathetic but confident and matter of fact.

[Anonymous]

You guys are INSANE if you're advising OP to have her daughter borrow $240K for an Ivy degree over a free degree elsewhere.
The Ivy worship on this board is out of control.
Get a freaking grip!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are some "crazy" people out there who don't think an ivy league education is worth the price. Father may feel this way too.

Yes, one of my friends feels this way. I'm sure they could come up with the money, but it's a matter of principle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My heart is bleeding now. Daughter got into her dream school. She worked so hard for the last 10 years, no Bs at all since 1st grade. A lot of extracurriculars, varsity sports, volunteering, working every summer, national and international awards, 99% ACT and SAT, 4.0/4.5 GPA, etc. She got there all by herself, without any tutors, no prep courses for SAT, nothing.

We are in that situation that we are not qualified for financial aid (well, they offered $15k for next year out of $75k). My husband and I are separated and I am making only $50k a year.

I saved $20k in 529 and can pull some money from emergency savings, but it is not nearly enough even for the first year.

She has an option to go with a full ride to a great school, or a full tuition+fees in the state flagship university. And she knows that these are great choices and most kids don't have them.

If there's a money fight with the ex, and a choice between Harvard and a really mediocre, non-flagship state school: the best strategy might be to go sell a kidney or do whatever else is necessary to go to Harvard.

If the choice is between, say, Harvard and going to Duke for free, and there's just no way to get enough money out of Harvard: Duke is a great university, too. There is absolutely nothing wrong with going to Duke for free. In some ways, being a cherished merit scholarship recipient at a school like Duke might be a lot more fun and rewarding than being just another lottery winner chair filler at Harvard.

NEVER, EVER. You are insane.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:An Ivy is going to give tons of financial aid to someone making only $50k. Something is fishy here.

My guess is OP wasn't separated when the initial FAFSA went in.

OP, you should call the school and explain that there has been a change in your situation.

No, even if that's the case (which I do not believe), school will not consider that. FAFSA requires both parents assets - being separated has no bearing on FA amount.

OP is definitely a troll.

not true, unless parents filed jointly for the relevant year. CSS wants everything...your info, the ex's info, the ex's new wife's info....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a fake post. Person making 50k only got 15k FA? No way. Not from ivy schools.

They taking into consideration both parents income. Father is not planning to contribute.

Call FA office and tell them this.

LOL. What do you think they will say?

You never know until you call and that's pretty much the only option at this point besides loans.

If that works, please let us know - I am going to decide to not pay for my daughter's school as well. She should get aid then, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are some "crazy" people out there who don't think an ivy league education is worth the price. Father may feel this way too.

Yes, one of my friends feels this way. I'm sure they could come up with the money, but it's a matter of principle.

That's a very different situation. I could make a strong case that your friend is a stingy asshole; that's clearly not OP's issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, have you tried calling the dream school and explaining your situation. You filed the FAFSA, right?

Yes, we filed FAFSA. The problem is that my husband made in 2016 unusual amount ($210), normally his income is around $120. We received $15 from the school, and $3,500 of that amount suppose to come from her working during the school (they will provide the job).

We just filed a reconsideration form a week ago, but I don't think they will change anything. There is a line of people to get to the school who are willing to pay full price.

CALL THE SCHOOL. Or better yet, go there and meet with someone in the financial aid office. I got into an Ivy a billion years ago but got less aid than I was offered from other schools. We went to visit, my dad went in with the different offers, and they improved on the other packages.

Fwiw none of us can gauge if the Ivy is truly "worth it." I got rejected from a non-Ivy that was my dream school and in the end I am so glad that I wound up "having" to go where I did. But don't walk away without going the extra mile to see if you can at least keep the option in reach for your daughter.

BTW I am reasonably confident that neither of my kids will go to an Ivy or anything close - but that's mostly because I doubt they will be competitive applicants. You and your daughter should be so proud that she has such fantastic options ahead of her.