This would be for most especially if the family broke up. No one wants to find out their parent sucks as a person. |
My dad cheated on my mom when I was growing up. By this point in life I can understand that a good person can make a bad decision. People aren't one-dimensional cartoon characters. |
!!!!!!!! So on point I'm speechless. |
| XDH and his AP were walking down the street hand-in-hand in a nearby village after a romantic lunch. My BF was driving through and caught a glimpse of XDH's signature hat. She gently told me what she had seen, which led to a month of my gathering data from the home computer and phone records. Then I confronted him, picked up my packed overnight bag, and never looked back. |
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H accidentally synced his phone to our apple account and I received all his texts... so did my teen son.
The next day, I asked him to move to the guest room. My teen son already knew and could not handle lying to his brother so I told my other son, who spent 2 weeks in bed crying. Kids did not talk to him for 6 months... we all lived in the same house. The younger one might talk to him once or twice a week. The therapist told him it is up to him to heal their relationship, it is not my job. I was fine with it actually, a little pissed but I am very radically accepting... of people not their actions. He suffers from PTSD so i was use to eradicate behavior from him. I have friends/family/money so my life did not change much. It sucks not having somebody to spend the rest of your life with but I am older and men die and I have my friends (1/2 are widowed or divorced). He did the crime so he is doing the time, which means he is single (can't date since he can't afford to move out) and his kids basically think he is a rube. It's hard to parent a teen when they have no respect for you so I am stuck with all the parenting. They constantly ask me... "why did you marry him?" I just say he was pretty awesome before PTSD. Why are you so nice to him? I just say, "it' take more energy to be mad" They are coming around. |
Its all a matter of perspective. My dad is such a pos without ever cheating that cheating in and of itself would be nothing. Blessing in disguise, actually. Its funny how jumping thru the hoops to catch dh red handed makes a woman a gem. Ridiculous. |
Some would say the same about criminals and murderers. |
+1 Most adults have some perspective on people and wouldn't have such an extreme reaction. |
I’m one of the people who said golf guy’s ex wife is a gem. I was referring to how she’s handled their relationship after the split. It takes strength of character to make the effort to stay friends with your cheating ex. She surely made the divorce somewhat easier on the kids by rising above and taking the high road. (And it really sounds like she was surprised by the affair, not trying to catch him.) |
People are saying she's a gem for her level-headed reaction. For not going all unhinged and Tiger-Wood's-ex on the pp. |
Yes, that is correct. Criminals aren’t one dimensional cartoon characters either. |
It's not extreme at all. PP didn't say she would stop talking to her dad or banish him from her life. She said it would permanently change her perception of him - as another 30-something daughter, I agree. I would too. Although of course I would still love him |
Oh good grief. Pretending people aren't human and are good is naive. If any mans daughter saw the things he fantasizes about in his mind she would never see him the same. Everything is fake to different degrees. When someone has lived long enough they know people who have never been exposed as an idiot are often bigger idiots than those who have been humbled by failures. |
You can’t change your parents so you rationalize/minimize what they did |
Mental fantasies and concrete deception/betrayal of trust are totally different |