Why wouldn't a man want just a sexual relationship?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a woman. I was discussing with my gay male friend whether I should sleep with this guy I am dating. I'm not comfortable with casual sex, so I only want to sleep with guys who are definitely into me.

Anyway, my friend was saying, this is not an issue with gay men. Men just sleep together with each other pretty much right away. So then he asked, "So then why dont straight men just lie, and act like they really like the girl, so that she will sleep with them?"

I said, "I think some men DO do that. Which is why women try to analyze men's actions. But I think some men realize that if the sleep with a woman, there is the potential with drama. And sleeping with a woman who you are not that into and you know you will eventually dump may not be worth the drama."

Any straight men want to weigh in on this?

Straight and verile guy here - I think the point about "drama" has its merits for sure. In addition, some guys just aren't assholes, don't just see women as a notch in the belt (among other euphemisms one can use here) and actually respect women. I've never been one to feign interest just to sleep with women. I have had short-term relationships/flings where it was just sex, but it was pretty clear that both of us wanted that and nothing more. When I am seriously dating, I say that - I say that so a) I can weed out women who aren't in the same place that I am and b) to send a clear signal to a woman that I'm not in any rush to get her into bed (though it never really took too long for that to happen anyway). I have always been clear about what I wanted and left no ambiguity to be deciphered.

What I don't get is when women say they need an emotional connection but their own past history contradicts that. Just be upfront about what you want and stop making up excuses.

Virile. If you’re going to brag, be sure to get it right.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a woman. I was discussing with my gay male friend whether I should sleep with this guy I am dating. I'm not comfortable with casual sex, so I only want to sleep with guys who are definitely into me.

Anyway, my friend was saying, this is not an issue with gay men. Men just sleep together with each other pretty much right away. So then he asked, "So then why dont straight men just lie, and act like they really like the girl, so that she will sleep with them?"

I said, "I think some men DO do that. Which is why women try to analyze men's actions. But I think some men realize that if the sleep with a woman, there is the potential with drama. And sleeping with a woman who you are not that into and you know you will eventually dump may not be worth the drama."

Any straight men want to weigh in on this?

Straight and verile guy here - I think the point about "drama" has its merits for sure. In addition, some guys just aren't assholes, don't just see women as a notch in the belt (among other euphemisms one can use here) and actually respect women. I've never been one to feign interest just to sleep with women. I have had short-term relationships/flings where it was just sex, but it was pretty clear that both of us wanted that and nothing more. When I am seriously dating, I say that - I say that so a) I can weed out women who aren't in the same place that I am and b) to send a clear signal to a woman that I'm not in any rush to get her into bed (though it never really took too long for that to happen anyway). I have always been clear about what I wanted and left no ambiguity to be deciphered.

What I don't get is when women say they need an emotional connection but their own past history contradicts that. Just be upfront about what you want and stop making up excuses.

Virile. If you’re going to brag, be sure to get it right.

I like em virile and stupid

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe what you characterize as "hot sex" because you enjoyed it was "meh" for him. I don't know why so many women think that because they liked sex with someone that it was mutual.

I don't think so. Possible? Yes. But he always wanted it, and always talked about how good it was, so...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a woman. I was discussing with my gay male friend whether I should sleep with this guy I am dating. I'm not comfortable with casual sex, so I only want to sleep with guys who are definitely into me.

Anyway, my friend was saying, this is not an issue with gay men. Men just sleep together with each other pretty much right away. So then he asked, "So then why dont straight men just lie, and act like they really like the girl, so that she will sleep with them?"

I said, "I think some men DO do that. Which is why women try to analyze men's actions. But I think some men realize that if the sleep with a woman, there is the potential with drama. And sleeping with a woman who you are not that into and you know you will eventually dump may not be worth the drama."

Any straight men want to weigh in on this?

Another man here. This is dead on, in my opinion.

There is no such thing as "no strings attached" sex with most women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a woman. I was discussing with my gay male friend whether I should sleep with this guy I am dating. I'm not comfortable with casual sex, so I only want to sleep with guys who are definitely into me.

Anyway, my friend was saying, this is not an issue with gay men. Men just sleep together with each other pretty much right away. So then he asked, "So then why dont straight men just lie, and act like they really like the girl, so that she will sleep with them?"

I said, "I think some men DO do that. Which is why women try to analyze men's actions. But I think some men realize that if the sleep with a woman, there is the potential with drama. And sleeping with a woman who you are not that into and you know you will eventually dump may not be worth the drama."

Any straight men want to weigh in on this?

Another man here. This is dead on, in my opinion.

There is no such thing as "no strings attached" sex with most women.

Basically he's probably a somewhat nice guy who probably wouldn't mind sleeping with you, but he's not smitten and is worried that you'd get attached to him. Then he'd have to be the bad guy at some point and dump you anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe what you characterize as "hot sex" because you enjoyed it was "meh" for him. I don't know why so many women think that because they liked sex with someone that it was mutual.

I don't think so. Possible? Yes. But he always wanted it, and always talked about how good it was, so...

Proof is in the pudding. If it was really that great he'd be going for it now.

[Anonymous]

Because he is afraid of whole lot of drama, including false rape accusations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe what you characterize as "hot sex" because you enjoyed it was "meh" for him. I don't know why so many women think that because they liked sex with someone that it was mutual.

I don't think so. Possible? Yes. But he always wanted it, and always talked about how good it was, so...

Proof is in the pudding. If it was really that great he'd be going for it now.

Well, it's been four days, so I'll see if I get a booty call soon

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a woman. I was discussing with my gay male friend whether I should sleep with this guy I am dating. I'm not comfortable with casual sex, so I only want to sleep with guys who are definitely into me.

Anyway, my friend was saying, this is not an issue with gay men. Men just sleep together with each other pretty much right away. So then he asked, "So then why dont straight men just lie, and act like they really like the girl, so that she will sleep with them?"

I said, "I think some men DO do that. Which is why women try to analyze men's actions. But I think some men realize that if the sleep with a woman, there is the potential with drama. And sleeping with a woman who you are not that into and you know you will eventually dump may not be worth the drama."

Any straight men want to weigh in on this?

Well he could just not be attracted to her. You see there are about 5% of men who will sleep with anything. Women see these men, get hit on by these men and think all men will sleep with any women at anytime. This is not true. Most men are selective. If you find the woman annoying, unattractive, dumb, bad in bed, has bad breath, different values, etc etc, many men will pass. Hard to believe I know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe what you characterize as "hot sex" because you enjoyed it was "meh" for him. I don't know why so many women think that because they liked sex with someone that it was mutual.

I don't think so. Possible? Yes. But he always wanted it, and always talked about how good it was, so...

"meh" sex is better than no sex so you were better than nothing. Of course he talked about how good it was. He isn't stupid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe what you characterize as "hot sex" because you enjoyed it was "meh" for him. I don't know why so many women think that because they liked sex with someone that it was mutual.

I don't think so. Possible? Yes. But he always wanted it, and always talked about how good it was, so...

Proof is in the pudding. If it was really that great he'd be going for it now.

Well, it's been four days, so I'll see if I get a booty call soon

So you're just sitting around waiting for some guy that doesn't like you anymore to call you for a f*ck? I feel so sorry for you....and I'm a man.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe what you characterize as "hot sex" because you enjoyed it was "meh" for him. I don't know why so many women think that because they liked sex with someone that it was mutual.

I don't think so. Possible? Yes. But he always wanted it, and always talked about how good it was, so...

Proof is in the pudding. If it was really that great he'd be going for it now.

Well, it's been four days, so I'll see if I get a booty call soon

So you're just sitting around waiting for some guy that doesn't like you anymore to call you for a f*ck? I feel so sorry for you....and I'm a man.

What's the alternative? F**k some random dude? No thank you!

[Anonymous]

OP here. I love how people assume it wasn't good sex. This being DCUM with its embarrassment of sexless husbands/wives - how the hell would you remember what good sex is anyway??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe what you characterize as "hot sex" because you enjoyed it was "meh" for him. I don't know why so many women think that because they liked sex with someone that it was mutual.

I don't think so. Possible? Yes. But he always wanted it, and always talked about how good it was, so...

OH grow up. "My boyfriend said I was the most beautiful girl in the world. Why won't Brad Pitt go out with me?"

People say all sorts of crap in the passion of a romantic relationship. Most people over the age of sixteen understand that there is a high level of well intended bullshit involved with it. I've had various girls tell me how big I was while we were having sex. Because I am not a giant dumbass I didn't actually walk around actually thinking that I had a huge dong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I love how people assume it wasn't good sex. This being DCUM with its embarrassment of sexless husbands/wives - how the hell would you remember what good sex is anyway??

Yes, amazingly, people are questioning whether the sex that he is turning down from you was that great for him. If a man showed up and insisted that he was a super-awesome lover and didn't understand why his ex wouldn't have sex with him, he'd get much more mockery than you've received.

OP: Why won't my ex have NSA sex with me? I am incredible in bed.
DCUM: Uh here are some reasons. Also, since men generally love NSA sex and he doesn't want it from you, maybe you're not incredible in bed.
OP: What the hell do you losers know?!?