How do I handle this? Teacher gave kid F for questionable reasons. (Long)

[Anonymous]

Or, you could send an email and schedule a time for a telephone call so you know what the teacher saw and heard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am shaking my head in disbelief.

The kid got a bad grade.

Who I here doesn't have a similar story? And did we all survive? Looks like we did!

OP, the amount of helicoptering you are doing is going to be 10 times more damaging to your child than a poor grade in a cooking class. This child will have zero resilience if his mother gets this worked up over the "injustice"! A teacher doesn't like your kid, so what? We all had teachers like that! It's not necessarily the ADHD, she just doesn't like him. So what? That will happen over and over to him and all of us in life.

Teach him to cope. Teach him that life isn't "fair". Teach him to shake it off. That's a far better use of your time than this eternal nonsense!

Completely agree. Also teaches him that behavior matters significantly, as it does every day in the real world. He's not 3 - 11 is old enough to know this, and learn the ramifications.

Also agree!

[Anonymous]

I agree too. Let him make mistakes now and learn from them

[Anonymous]

I agree with the PP who said OP is working too hard to justify her son's behavior. I agree with the PP who said that OP needs to figure out how to be more successful managing his disability because what is in place isn't working. I agree that the situation might not be what OP's son said. And, I agree that fooling around in a cooking lab is dangerous and could justify his grade.

However, given that one lab took his grade down so far and he doesn't seem to understand why it was dropped so much, I would ask for a meeting with the school counselor. I would choose the school counselor because my kids (two of whom have ADHD and other disabilities that resulted in IEP and 504) and I have good relationships with the counselor and get good information that way. I would expect that it would result in a sit down in person meeting with the teacher, counselor and my child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I am pissed for you! Fight back. It is not okay that she was vindictive, which she clearly was. At some point parents need to fight back. You may not be able to get grade changed and even though that stings now, it is not a huge deal In long run. But the administration needs to know who she is. Schedule meeting with Principal immediately. Most teachers are professional but this one is not. The last lab of quarter she got to stick it to an 11 year old that she doesn't like. What a bitch, call her out!

I absolutely would reach out to the teacher and request a meeting. And in that meeting, if she is unable to effectively defend giving him that F, I would be willing to call her out and say “based on what you have described, the grade you assigned to my son seems doesn’t seem based on what he actually earned. It feels punitive and a bit vindictive, frankly.”

+1000

And if you are getting this response on DCUM, of all places, which is one of the most judgemental, "love to rip OP a new one" place- you know it's bad. OP, get in there.

[Anonymous]

Teachers don’t GIVE grades. Students EARN the grade they get.

[Anonymous]

OP, what are your long term parenting goals? Are they for your child to be independent? Self sufficient? Happy? Successful? Have a good relationship with others?

Then before you do anything, ask yourself if your actions will move him toward these goals or farther away.

I am constantly amazed at the number of parents who claim that their number one goal is for their child to be able to take care of him/herself and then they insert themselves in every situation that the child becomes uncomfortable or upset. How in the heck do these people expect their children to be self sufficient? Do you think it magically just happens at a certain age? No, it is learned through experience.

Life is uncomfortable at times. It's unfair at times. Let him learn how to cope, you will be doing him a favor.

This isn't about YOU and how hard it is for YOU to witness this. Let him experience it and become stronger so he can tell his children this story one day when they come home upset after a bad grade.

[Anonymous]

OP,

You kid obviously contributed to this situation, however, if he is bad enough to be failing, it sounds like mid-marking period was the time to have notified you.

And stop talking about honor roll.

I think it is time for a discussion with the teacher, a representative from the administration, you and your kid. You want to learn what happened and what needs to be done next. Say little, be pleasant, and dont yell.

[Anonymous]

Is he on medication OP? If not, it sounds like he needs to be. His behavior should impact his grade and if he is unable to control it, it's time for meds.

[Anonymous]

Definitely go in and talk. Get the principal involved as well. This sounds pretty egregious.

[Anonymous]

Teachers don’t GIVE grades. Students EARN the grade they get

Ha! Not this student, or this situation ... but teachers fit the class into a grade distribution bell curve, one that was been enforced by the school and school system. It's not about what they earn, only in relation to their peers and what grade the school allows them to earn (except for the very outliners)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is this MCPS? If so, your DC can’t be graded on behavior so you can get the grade changed via the principal. The downside is that your child will think that his “funny behavior” is above reproach and he has FACS for the rest of the semester if not the year.

I think the kid will find it funny. The teacher gave him a grade to humiliate him. The lesson he learns is that as a child his parent will advocate for him.

If he was talking during class I can't imagine no other students were. Did they all get Fs?

If there was a serious safety issue, the teacher would have needed to report it at the time as well as give immediate feedback to the student. So not saying the OP's kid is perfect, saying this F is fishy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Teachers don’t GIVE grades. Students EARN the grade they get.

+1 I already commented on this thread earlier, but I'll add that I don't dislike ANY Of my students; I check my emotions at the door because all teenagers act in crazy ways at least some of the time. I've been shocked in the past to learn that a student thought I hated him/her: this was never the case.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Teachers don’t GIVE grades. Students EARN the grade they get

Ha! Not this student, or this situation ... but teachers fit the class into a grade distribution bell curve, one that was been enforced by the school and school system. It's not about what they earn, only in relation to their peers and what grade the school allows them to earn (except for the very outliners)

Exactly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Teachers don’t GIVE grades. Students EARN the grade they get.

+1 I already commented on this thread earlier, but I'll add that I don't dislike ANY Of my students; I check my emotions at the door because all teenagers act in crazy ways at least some of the time. I've been shocked in the past to learn that a student thought I hated him/her: this was never the case.

If a student thinks you hate him or her, then you created an environment that was not conducive to learning. It isn't about your feelings, but about what you are projecting. I hope you took this revelation as an opportunity to reflect.