How do I handle this? Teacher gave kid F for questionable reasons. (Long)

[Anonymous]

She sounds like a bad teacher and believe me they exist. I have experienced teachers like this growing up.

[Anonymous]

Is this MCPS? If so, your DC can’t be graded on behavior so you can get the grade changed via the principal. The downside is that your child will think that his “funny behavior” is above reproach and he has FACS for the rest of the semester if not the year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Talk to the principal.

Sometimes teachers can be vindictive. "Behavior" is marking him down on stuff she doesn't like not objectively what he's supposed to be learning.

Set a time with the principal. Keep your comments reflective of the behaviors of the teacher--don't get personal or angry. Stick to the facts.

Ask the principal how he/she will resolve this and a time you can expect a follow up. If the principal jerks you around ask that your kid have a different teacher.

It will help if your kid has a 504 or iep, but if not time to get one. The teacher sounds like she is discriminating.

The problem with this is that OP doesn't have facts. She wasn't in the class all quarter. She is relying on her son's version of the facts, when he may or may not be a reliable narrator. Of course he's going to tell the version of the story that reflects best on him. I'm sure there's more to this story than what OP's son has presented to her. I'm not absolving the teacher--just saying that OP can't know the facts since she wasn't there.

I completely agree. I am suspicious that the son’s behavior was not what he says it was. She had no issues giving him lower grades when he earned them and higher grades on things he did well on so I HIGHLY doubt this was just “f*** it, I don’t like you, you’re getting an F, muah ha haaa.” C’mon Mom. You know better. And stop using your kids diagnosis as an excuse.

[Anonymous]

Your kid admits he was telling funny stories during a cooking lab. Cooking is different than a group history project. It can be dangerous if you are goofing off. Kids can get cut with knives or burned. Was he trying to make someone laugh when they were cutting something or using heat to cook? If he is endangering others by being silly he deserved the F. He didn't get an F in the class, it probably brought down his grade to a B or C. Your kid deserves that final grade. It is better for him to learn that now then when he is in a high science lab goofing off when someone is using a Bunsen burner or mixing chemicals.

[Anonymous]

The thing I would do is first emotionally disengage from the instinct to protect your kid. Then, schedule a conference with the Principal and the teacher about this.

Do not accuse anything, rather ask for an explanation.

When you have the explanation, counter with logical arguments (if you have them).

The 504 will give some legal protections. Go in assuming the grade will not change, but try to change the circumstances.

Something like this happened to me in HS chemistry. Teacher did not like me, and assumed I was cheating, so gave me zeros. I got a D in the class. I know I did not earn the D, but it is really hard to overcome zeros. There was no proof of cheating other than I "did not show my work". That meant, simplifying 10/30 to 1/3 in my head.

Impact it had was I was not able to get into my choice of college out of HS; went elsewhere and transferred.

Oh, and I graduated college with a degree in physics. No. I was not cheating in HS.

Should have fought it, but was afraid to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had a teacher like this in 7th grade. She targeted me, said I was "hyper" and was a bitch to me. I was a straight A student but she used the conduct grade to ding me and keep me off the principal's honor roll. I still hate her guts more than 45 years later.

Yep, this home ec teacher will be my son's version of that teacher. It sucks to have to tell him "your teacher really didn't like you and it was reflected in your grade." And no honor roll for him because of it.

This is a terrible thing to tell/teach your child.

Seriously, you were not there. You do NOT want to teach your kid that if he is not getting good grades, it is because the teacher doesn't like him.

[Anonymous]

My DD is in sixth and she has a teacher who hates her. I explained to DD she needs to be perfection in that class. On time, no talking, above and beyond work. No clicking with people is a fact of life.

There is no harm that can come from your DS going and talking to the teacher about the grade.

[Anonymous]

If I were you I would bring this up. I was bullied by a teacher in elementary school (I was similar to your son) and it took my mom intervening to where the school finally took action. They had to reprimand her and I ended up being switched out. Someone people are just incrdibly immature and use their power to try to hurt kids they dont like. That's where you have to go to the principal. Because my mom was such a huge advocate for me, and fought it tooth and nail, and reminded me that it was NOT my fault, and then that was backed up the principal who was also upset at how I had been treated, it didn't really destroy my confidence in the way it might have. I went on to be hugely academically successful the year after and then so on for my academic career, and I think a lot of that was my mom seizing back the narrative and not allowing me to be treated like a "bad kid" or juvenile delinquent (it was exactly the same behavior as you described- I'm an extrovert and would simply talk to my friends in class, ADHD things like fidgeting, drumming on things- same deal. Traits which, btw, have helped me a lot in my life since then, as having good social skills and being friendly is a huge advantage). Some people simply really dislike ADHD kids. But as the mom of one I think you need to be his advocate and let him know this is NOT his fault.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Talk to the principal.

Sometimes teachers can be vindictive. "Behavior" is marking him down on stuff she doesn't like not objectively what he's supposed to be learning.

Set a time with the principal. Keep your comments reflective of the behaviors of the teacher--don't get personal or angry. Stick to the facts.

Ask the principal how he/she will resolve this and a time you can expect a follow up. If the principal jerks you around ask that your kid have a different teacher.

It will help if your kid has a 504 or iep, but if not time to get one. The teacher sounds like she is discriminating.

The problem with this is that OP doesn't have facts. She wasn't in the class all quarter. She is relying on her son's version of the facts, when he may or may not be a reliable narrator. Of course he's going to tell the version of the story that reflects best on him. I'm sure there's more to this story than what OP's son has presented to her. I'm not absolving the teacher--just saying that OP can't know the facts since she wasn't there.

I agree with this. I also think it's important in this context to know if your child has an IEP or 504, and what techniques is he using in class to stay on task and not distract others or disrupt the class.

+1 you son was disruptive the entire quarter. Was told to reign it in. Didn't and was disruptive during a pop test. There are other kids in that class that may need to focus to do their best. I'd let him live with the grade and learn that his behavior has consequences. This all changes if he has an iep

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should review your school system's grading policies. Ours (APS) states explicitly that grades cannot be based on stude t behavior.

Wow, we really are raising a bunch of special snowflakes. That's okay, I'm sure future employers won't consider behavior at all.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I am pissed for you! Fight back. It is not okay that she was vindictive, which she clearly was. At some point parents need to fight back. You may not be able to get grade changed and even though that stings now, it is not a huge deal In long run. But the administration needs to know who she is. Schedule meeting with Principal immediately. Most teachers are professional but this one is not. The last lab of quarter she got to stick it to an 11 year old that she doesn't like. What a bitch, call her out!

I absolutely would reach out to the teacher and request a meeting. And in that meeting, if she is unable to effectively defend giving him that F, I would be willing to call her out and say “based on what you have described, the grade you assigned to my son seems doesn’t seem based on what he actually earned. It feels punitive and a bit vindictive, frankly.”

[Anonymous]

If he really did all of the work, didn't cheat, and can't have points taken off for behavior, then he shouldn't have an F. (Unless following safety rules is tied to his grade and he violated those).

If he is in the class for the next quarter, then escalating it might just make the teacher worse. I would tell him to suck it up if it's a semester class and see if he can get through it without telling funny stories.

You 11 year old has 27 additional chances to make the honor roll. Don't let him tie his self-worth to that. An ADHD kid is likely to get some Bs along the way no matter how bright he is. Celebrate the As that he did get and the hard work he put into his academic classes.

[Anonymous]

I am shaking my head in disbelief.

The kid got a bad grade.

Who I here doesn't have a similar story? And did we all survive? Looks like we did!

OP, the amount of helicoptering you are doing is going to be 10 times more damaging to your child than a poor grade in a cooking class. This child will have zero resilience if his mother gets this worked up over the "injustice"! A teacher doesn't like your kid, so what? We all had teachers like that! It's not necessarily the ADHD, she just doesn't like him. So what? That will happen over and over to him and all of us in life.

Teach him to cope. Teach him that life isn't "fair". Teach him to shake it off. That's a far better use of your time than this eternal nonsense!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am shaking my head in disbelief.

The kid got a bad grade.

Who I here doesn't have a similar story? And did we all survive? Looks like we did!

OP, the amount of helicoptering you are doing is going to be 10 times more damaging to your child than a poor grade in a cooking class. This child will have zero resilience if his mother gets this worked up over the "injustice"! A teacher doesn't like your kid, so what? We all had teachers like that! It's not necessarily the ADHD, she just doesn't like him. So what? That will happen over and over to him and all of us in life.

Teach him to cope. Teach him that life isn't "fair". Teach him to shake it off. That's a far better use of your time than this eternal nonsense!

Completely agree. Also teaches him that behavior matters significantly, as it does every day in the real world. He's not 3 - 11 is old enough to know this, and learn the ramifications.

[Anonymous]

If he really and truly did the work in the lab, I do not see how he could get an F for that entire assignment. That does not make sense to me, and I am a sixth grade teacher.

I do think that you are justifying your son's behavior throughout this post. It sounds like he is very disruptive in class, and when you qualify statements like he kept talking to friends that he hadn't seen all summer, you are making an excuse for his continuous disruptive behavior.

I would not take everything that he says as truth. For example, that he is the only one single out for talking and others who talk as much as him or not addressed by the teacher – he is likely not able to completely measure others actions in relation to his own.

But if he did do the lab work, I would make a complaint with the assistant principal or the principal. That is not right.