How do I handle this? Teacher gave kid F for questionable reasons. (Long)

[Anonymous]

I have an 11yr old 6th grader, first year of middle school. First quarter included a FACS class (formerly known as Home Ec, or at least it was for me). Early in the year it was clear he and his teacher were not clicking (he pretty quickly believed she hated him). He has ADHD and can definitely be annoying (drums fingers on things, taps or clicks his pen, fidgets in his seat) and was overly chatty the first week or so with friends he hadn't seen all year. By week two she was keeping him after class and asking him how he can pay better attention in class and threatened him with detention for talking with classmates (equally talkative classmates were not threatened with detention). At my recommendation he ended up talking to the guidance counselor about how he could better communicate with the teacher and improve the situation.

A week or so later was teacher conferences and we met with her. She was VERY effusive about how she would NEVER want a student to feel singled out and that everything is just fine and they're good now. All was not well; she continued to chastise him regularly and appeared to be downgrading him on any assignment that didn't require objective grading. Written tests with clear correct/incorrect answers? A. Labs, presentations? Anywhere from B- to D+. After the final test of the year, he had an A- based on test scores, which pulled up the grades she was giving him on everything else.

Final day of class (it ends at the end the quarter), she has a surprise cooking lab. When final grades are posted for the quarter, he gets an F on the lab. The notation says "lab behavior". I grill my kid extensively. He is baffled. He is hurt. He says he was telling funny stories with his group during lab but he wasn't doing anything "wrong". (He has plenty of experience reflecting upon and admitting to poor behavior). I ask him if she asked him to stop. No. I asked him if he was disruptive. No. I asked him if he completed the lab steps and did the work. Yes. I ask him to seriously think about it and what might have resulted in an F. He is devastated because he really believes he was doing nothing different from others, finished all the work, cleaned his materials, etc.

Why does this feel like a big deal to him? He has As in every other class and was SO proud of himself. He has worked really hard and is hugely disappointed that he won't be on the A honor roll because of the final F in this class. It brought his grade down just enough. And it feels so...intentional.

How do I handle this? So far I'm telling him that he can have a conversation with the teacher and ask her to help him understand why. He keeps hoping she will have a change of heart and change the grade. I don't want to wade into this because it feels too helicopter-y over a pretty meaningless grade in a class that doesn't "matter" (apologies to all FACS teachers out there). But I also don't want to say nothing to or about a teacher that has seemingly been arbitrary and punishing an unliked kid by docking grades.

Okay, that was LONG, but advice welcome!

[Anonymous]

Your kid is manipulating you.

[Anonymous]

I am almost always against complaining about a grade on behalf of a kid, but assuming he isn't going to have this teacher again I might do so in this case. She sounds like a bad teacher and petty AF.

[Anonymous]

Talk to the principal.

Sometimes teachers can be vindictive. "Behavior" is marking him down on stuff she doesn't like not objectively what he's supposed to be learning.

Set a time with the principal. Keep your comments reflective of the behaviors of the teacher--don't get personal or angry. Stick to the facts.

Ask the principal how he/she will resolve this and a time you can expect a follow up. If the principal jerks you around ask that your kid have a different teacher.

It will help if your kid has a 504 or iep, but if not time to get one. The teacher sounds like she is discriminating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your kid is manipulating you.

? How so? I agree with OP (based on the info presented), it seems so intentional.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Talk to the principal.

Sometimes teachers can be vindictive. "Behavior" is marking him down on stuff she doesn't like not objectively what he's supposed to be learning.

Set a time with the principal. Keep your comments reflective of the behaviors of the teacher--don't get personal or angry. Stick to the facts.

Ask the principal how he/she will resolve this and a time you can expect a follow up. If the principal jerks you around ask that your kid have a different teacher.

It will help if your kid has a 504 or iep, but if not time to get one. The teacher sounds like she is discriminating.

The problem with this is that OP doesn't have facts. She wasn't in the class all quarter. She is relying on her son's version of the facts, when he may or may not be a reliable narrator. Of course he's going to tell the version of the story that reflects best on him. I'm sure there's more to this story than what OP's son has presented to her. I'm not absolving the teacher--just saying that OP can't know the facts since she wasn't there.

[Anonymous]

I had an art teacher like this, who targeted me because I walked in her class one day as she was holding the door open and had my head buried in a book. The school apologized to my mother when I was given a punishment, and basically said they couldn't find another art teacher.

I'm sorry your child has been targeted. I would complain in writing to the principal, so that he or she can document this, because if she's that type of teacher, it is probably not the first time she's done this!

Also, keep working with your child on his behaviors, otherwise he might get the same treatment from another less-than-patient teacher in the future, perhaps one whose grades count much more...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Talk to the principal.

Sometimes teachers can be vindictive. "Behavior" is marking him down on stuff she doesn't like not objectively what he's supposed to be learning.

Set a time with the principal. Keep your comments reflective of the behaviors of the teacher--don't get personal or angry. Stick to the facts.

Ask the principal how he/she will resolve this and a time you can expect a follow up. If the principal jerks you around ask that your kid have a different teacher.

It will help if your kid has a 504 or iep, but if not time to get one. The teacher sounds like she is discriminating.

The problem with this is that OP doesn't have facts. She wasn't in the class all quarter. She is relying on her son's version of the facts, when he may or may not be a reliable narrator. Of course he's going to tell the version of the story that reflects best on him. I'm sure there's more to this story than what OP's son has presented to her. I'm not absolving the teacher--just saying that OP can't know the facts since she wasn't there.

Just like for all suspicions of abuse of authority, parents need to trust their gut, don't they? Not all kids are little liars, and parents of behaviorally-challenging kids need to pay SPECIAL attention, because that's when a bad grade or punishment is most likely to pass without comment, since the child already has issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Talk to the principal.

Sometimes teachers can be vindictive. "Behavior" is marking him down on stuff she doesn't like not objectively what he's supposed to be learning.

Set a time with the principal. Keep your comments reflective of the behaviors of the teacher--don't get personal or angry. Stick to the facts.

Ask the principal how he/she will resolve this and a time you can expect a follow up. If the principal jerks you around ask that your kid have a different teacher.

It will help if your kid has a 504 or iep, but if not time to get one. The teacher sounds like she is discriminating.

The problem with this is that OP doesn't have facts. She wasn't in the class all quarter. She is relying on her son's version of the facts, when he may or may not be a reliable narrator. Of course he's going to tell the version of the story that reflects best on him. I'm sure there's more to this story than what OP's son has presented to her. I'm not absolving the teacher--just saying that OP can't know the facts since she wasn't there.

I agree with this. I also think it's important in this context to know if your child has an IEP or 504, and what techniques is he using in class to stay on task and not distract others or disrupt the class.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Talk to the principal.

Sometimes teachers can be vindictive. "Behavior" is marking him down on stuff she doesn't like not objectively what he's supposed to be learning.

Set a time with the principal. Keep your comments reflective of the behaviors of the teacher--don't get personal or angry. Stick to the facts.

Ask the principal how he/she will resolve this and a time you can expect a follow up. If the principal jerks you around ask that your kid have a different teacher.

It will help if your kid has a 504 or iep, but if not time to get one. The teacher sounds like she is discriminating.

The problem with this is that OP doesn't have facts. She wasn't in the class all quarter. She is relying on her son's version of the facts, when he may or may not be a reliable narrator. Of course he's going to tell the version of the story that reflects best on him. I'm sure there's more to this story than what OP's son has presented to her. I'm not absolving the teacher--just saying that OP can't know the facts since she wasn't there.

No she wasn't, however if a teacher is going to give an F due to behavior there better be evidence to back it up not just that this kid is annoying.

Plus, he needs to be judged on the work he actually did. This teacher is being arbitrary.

[Anonymous]

6th grade home ec? Who cares

[Anonymous]

Because this is a class where you don't sit behind a desk for the entire period, I bet your son had a hard time with proper behavior. With a different teacher they might have had him running the class and incorporating his hyper-ness into making the class work (I was a teacher's aide, and that's the type of thing I'd have had him do).

He needs to let it go. It's sixth grade. In the scheme of life, this doesn't matter. It just doesn't.

But I'd suggest to him that going forward, when he gets another class that doesn't have a regular desk-whole-period format, he should keep an eye on the best behaved kid in class and copy their behavior - be quiet when they're quiet, be still when they're still, etc.

[Anonymous]

I had a teacher like this in 7th grade. She targeted me, said I was "hyper" and was a bitch to me. I was a straight A student but she used the conduct grade to ding me and keep me off the principal's honor roll. I still hate her guts more than 45 years later.

[Anonymous]

OP here. He does have a 504 plan. He is a pretty self-aware kid and can acknowledge when he's gone wrong. He also knows I don't take his side just for the sake of doing so.

We talked to every one of his other teachers at conferences and though we heard from most that he is daydreaming or off task and looking at his iPad when he shouldn't, none reported disruptive behavior and none have marked him down on grades for it. (He has been marked down for late work, so it's not that these other teachers are letting things go.)

We have family friends with a kid in the same class and she has been our sideline reporter. The mother in that family told me early in the year not to bother trying to make sense of the FACS teacher. "She's horrible" were her words. Apparently FACS was her very smart (and dyslexic) son's worst grade in 6th grade as well. Maybe this teacher is just not a fan of the boys with challenges.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had a teacher like this in 7th grade. She targeted me, said I was "hyper" and was a bitch to me. I was a straight A student but she used the conduct grade to ding me and keep me off the principal's honor roll. I still hate her guts more than 45 years later.

Yep, this home ec teacher will be my son's version of that teacher. It sucks to have to tell him "your teacher really didn't like you and it was reflected in your grade." And no honor roll for him because of it.