Met a guy at a party I like but two guys I DON'T like are texting me

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tall Guy is probably not interested.

Increasingly, nice guys are steering clear of intoxicated women. My SS liked a girl for two years of college, but didn’t want to be in a potentially morally, legally gray area with hitting on her when she was clearly impaired. Eventually, seeing her drunk every few weekends was a turn off.

Absoletely. if I was a guy I wouldn't go anywhere near a girl who was drinking much less drunk-- not to talk to, not to ask out, not to hang out--no way, nada.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly not sure what the question is here.

The TL;DR: I don't know how to reject these two guys without ruining my chance with the other guy, and without alienating me from the whole group (friend is involved). Bonus points for someone who can tell me how to non-creepily get the guy I like's number.

How old did you say you were?

[Anonymous]

This is so easy.

Tell your mutual friend that you liked the one dude. It will get around to him and if he's interested in return he will reach out. There's usually an element of risk for men approaching women who have mutual friends and if he's interested it all he will love having that eliminated this time.

If he reaches out, the other guys will back off.

[Anonymous]

Reply to the 2 guys and ask them if they are into pegging. They'll ghost you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh for gods sake there is nothing wrong with giving out your number to guys you weren't sure about.

Is tall guy friends with the two guys you are texting?

Sounds like she was sure. Why give your number out to guys you have no interest in? When you give them your number, it indicates interest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh for gods sake there is nothing wrong with giving out your number to guys you weren't sure about.

Is tall guy friends with the two guys you are texting?

I believe so... he said he was kind of friends with someone there, not the host. I'm kind of new to the group so I dont know the dynamics well
(And... thanks for this genuinely helpful and nice response)

Then giving your number to them may have been a bigger mistake than you realize. Guy code/"bros before hos might have cost you your tall man.

[Anonymous]

OP, tall guy may have a girlfriend. Tall guy may not be looking for a relationship right now. Tall guy may have seen or heard about you giving your numbers to other dudes and decided he wasn't interested. Who knows.

I do have a bit of sympathy for the "giving phone numbers to dudes you don't like" thing, though. Sometimes when guys hit on you, it's super awkward to say "no thank you." Sometimes it's just easier to give the number and assume they might not use it. Often that strategy pays off because often guys do not use the #.

You can respond to the guys and say you're not interested, or you can always just be "too busy" or you can go out once and put out the friend vibe. Going out on one date won't tank you with the tall dude. In the meantime, ask a mutual friend what tall dude's deal is.

[Anonymous]

If tall guy is friends with a mutual friend, first find out if he is in a relationship. If he isn't ask mutual friend for his phone number, send him a text saying you enjoyed chatting and forgot to exchange numbers so mutual friend gave it too me, hope that's ok. If you likes you he will be ok with this, maybe he couldn't tell if you were just being friendly because you were drinking and was afraid of being to forward asking for your number.
The other two guys, don't talk to them. If they are friend with tall guy this might cause him to be not interested

[Anonymous]

Text back and say "how did you get my real number?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I went to a party recently and was chatting with these really tall, attractive guy who seemed to like me very much too- kind of hung around me, all my friends pointed out how he was checking me out, etc.

Eventually I went upstairs to grab a drink and hung out up there talking to people, and he left in the meantime after saying goodbye.

Now, I am a friendly drunk (as in talkative and nice), and gave my phone number to two of the guys at the party, neither of whom I would ever be interested in romantically.

Both of them have started texting me almost daily and they've asked me out.

My concerns are twofold: My friend is dating their friend, I dont want to make things awkward by just ghosting them. 2) I dont want to be like "I have a boyfriend" because I want to run into this guy again and hopefully get to interact with him more.

Is there any way to politely reject the two guys I dont want without causing weird feelings and still get access to the tall guy? I'm pretty attractive and was honestly considering asking my friend to give me the guy's number or something- but I've never done that before.

Don't respond to texts if you don't want to go out with them. It's understood that if someone doesn't respond, they are not interested. Please know that no man has been shattered by rejection of a woman he only met once the night before at a party. You overestimate how important your response is to them. It's just not a big deal.

The tall guy, it's OK to reach out to him once but no more. If he is interested, he'll respond, if not, take a hint.

And please don't be so spastic about this, it's not a big deal, none of it is. There are thousands of men out there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh for gods sake there is nothing wrong with giving out your number to guys you weren't sure about.

Is tall guy friends with the two guys you are texting?

Sounds like she was sure. Why give your number out to guys you have no interest in? When you give them your number, it indicates interest.

So what? She's allowed to change her mind. "Indicates interest" is not binding. She was interested the night before, now she isn't. It's not a big deal - to ANYONE.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If the guy you are interested in was interested in you, he would have asked for your number. If you were interested, you should have asked for his number.

If you were not interested in the two guys, you should never have given them your number. You've led them on by giving them your number. You need to find a polite way to tell them you are not interested and not just ghosting them. It's just obnoxious to give out your number then ghost them. If you were so drunk that you could not control yourself and gave out your number when you didn't want to, you have a drinking problem and need to have that addressed before you party again.

Yes I'm definitely going to tell my doctor that I got drunk at a Halloween party once and need immediate rehab. I'm sure that will go over well.

At a minimum tell him that you are rude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, tall guy may have a girlfriend. Tall guy may not be looking for a relationship right now. Tall guy may have seen or heard about you giving your numbers to other dudes and decided he wasn't interested. Who knows.

I do have a bit of sympathy for the "giving phone numbers to dudes you don't like" thing, though. Sometimes when guys hit on you, it's super awkward to say "no thank you." Sometimes it's just easier to give the number and assume they might not use it. Often that strategy pays off because often guys do not use the #.

You can respond to the guys and say you're not interested, or you can always just be "too busy" or you can go out once and put out the friend vibe. Going out on one date won't tank you with the tall dude. In the meantime, ask a mutual friend what tall dude's deal is.

This is why women should just ask for a guy's email address.

Ladies: don't give out your info, if you're iffy about a guy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So you think these two guys are so delicate that they can't handle rejection from a "pretty attractive" woman and will slander your name so much that you can't hang out with the group anymore, ruining your chances with hot guy? Yea, okay.

Most people are more mature than that, but if you are still worried, pull the ol' "thanks but I'm not dating at the moment so I can focus on myself". Yea, they'll see right through it, but it allows everyone to save some face.

For hot guy- if you wouldn't be embarrassed if he rejected you and word got out, then go ahead and ask a mutual friend for his info. If you would be embarrassed, then just bide your time and wait to run into him again. As for it being creepy, it depends on how hot he thinks you are. Hot= not creepy. Not hot=creepy. But in my experience, guys you have to push like this tend to make very little effort even if they are interested, or are only interested in sex and nothing else.

Thanks. I worry that the "not dating at the moment" thing might spread out and make me unable to date anyone else in the group- but I suppose you're right, they'll probably understand what it means and take it in kind. They seem like sweet dudes, so I also want to spare their feelings somewhat.

As for the hot guy, I know he thinks I'm hot, but him being lazy is part of my concern. But I'm not looking for anything super serious soulmatey, so I feel like it's fine if he's lazy. I'm honestly kind of bored since I moved to this city and I want someone to hang out with who I also want to bone. So he kind of fits the bill. Not that I'm looking for an f-buddy either. But I feel like if he's a lazy schmuck it won't annoy me too much (although it did occur to me)

I think anyone who uses...all these words...guy dodged a bullet her.

So he’s lazy and you’re easy. You don’t need to date anyone. You need to work on yourself.

[Anonymous]

I'm only 5'11"

Tall guy called tall guy is so humbling.

Women, is height more akin to large breasts or being thin?