Putting 6yo in Closet at Bedtime--Too Much?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Apparently I will disagree with pp. I think it's f'ed up. That's one of the most f'ed up things I've ever read on here. I can't even.

Most of us threaten no tv, no screen time, no cookie after dinner tomorrow. Something. Sticking him in a closet is . . . awful. I'm just going to say awful and leave it at that.

+1

Please someone ask if Jeff can alert the authorities on this. This is seriously FUCKED UP!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Apparently I will disagree with pp. I think it's f'ed up. That's one of the most f'ed up things I've ever read on here. I can't even.

Most of us threaten no tv, no screen time, no cookie after dinner tomorrow. Something. Sticking him in a closet is . . . awful. I'm just going to say awful and leave it at that.

OP here. I worry it's also very harsh. Some practical advice would be helpful. What would you do if your child worked himself up so much that he was crying and unable to listen to reason? This is the only thing that brings him back to earth, except of course, giving him what he wants. (We have a terrible track record of him incrementalizing and walking all over us, when do give in.)

Rewards or taking things away work because he is so worked up. Think of a kid who wants a toy, nags mom, nags more, then finally throws a full-blown tantrum. Mom finally gives in, but the kid is so worked up he can't hear and keeps going. That's my kid at bedtime.

You don't give into the tantrum. Intermittent reinforcement means he will try to get his way everytime since you will give in eventually. You turn out the lights. Sit in his room and he cries. You don't talk to him or keep saying it's bedtime. Y the time he's tantruming.

I would talk up a sticker chart and morning rewards for a good bedtime process way before it's time for bed. Refocus him as much as possible.

[Anonymous]

PP is right that you need to find his currency.

Also I noticed that you said you have to threaten a few times. That cycle has to stop (as in the tape method mentioned by 20:51) and you need to enforce the consequence sooner.

Also, I have mixed feelings about the closet (maybe I am a monster!). Does it actually scare him or does he just dislike it? I am totally fine with imposing an unappealing consequence for unacceptable behavior (and with isolation as a consequence for disruptive behavior).

[Anonymous]

My mom did this with me only it was the attic. I would have rather been spanked, honestly.

[Anonymous]

Spanking is 10000 times better than this, and I don't even spank my kids. This is just fucked up!

[Anonymous]

OP I really hope you are kidding, I feel bad for your kid.

You need to seek professional help to guide you in parenting/disciplining your child.

Also, if bedtime seems to be an issue...why don't you bump it 30 minutes later? Does he REALLY need to be in bed by 8pm (or whatever time you initially said)?

[Anonymous]

Why can't you just leave the room ...?

[Anonymous]

You suck op.

[Anonymous]

I really hope this is a troll. You are setting your kid up for a real f Ed up life. I hate you OP.

[Anonymous]

start be being firm during the day instead of talking it out and distracting. Then when it's time for bed he won't think he can negotiate or stall. You've set this up.
But forget the closet. That's cruel.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Well, I've spanked my kids a few times. I've sent them to the dark closet a few times. You have to know your kid, to avoid creating trauma - see what's worse for them, and not do that.

If you go that route, you also have to figure out what else you could do upstream to have a great bedtime. But if it's really 5% of the time and he's 6, I think I prefer your method over the snowflake parents who let their kids walk all over them... and there are so many, it's exhausting!

Wow!

Responses to this thread explain why kids talk back to teachers and parents more often than a generation ago, and why people always complain that the next generation is always more entitled and spoiled than the last.

Occam's Razor says: because every generation is wrong about the next.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most people can relate to your frustration. But seriously. Your child is afraid of the closet and you think putting him there is better than corporal punishment? There's a reason why this doesn't sit well with you. It's horribly cruel.

This! I am totally against spanking but this seems WORSE!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Well, I've spanked my kids a few times. I've sent them to the dark closet a few times. You have to know your kid, to avoid creating trauma - see what's worse for them, and not do that.

If you go that route, you also have to figure out what else you could do upstream to have a great bedtime. But if it's really 5% of the time and he's 6, I think I prefer your method over the snowflake parents who let their kids walk all over them... and there are so many, it's exhausting!

Wow!

Responses to this thread explain why kids talk back to teachers and parents more often than a generation ago, and why people always complain that the next generation is always more entitled and spoiled than the last.

Every generation says this.

To a large extent, this is highly correlated with SES. Richer people engage in negotiations with their kids. Poorer people follow a more authoritarian form of parenting. There is a lot of research on this and it is fascinating.

OP - stop putting your kid in the closet. That is nuts.

[Anonymous]

Please google of the PEP parenting classes. You might find some really helpful classes for you that will give you tips on how to discipline and get your children to listen. The classes are usually held in Silver Spring. I have found it really helpful when I was overwhelmed with parenting and did not have any good tools to use.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Responses to this thread explain why kids talk back to teachers and parents more often than a generation ago, and why people always complain that the next generation is always more entitled and spoiled than the last.

Occam's Razor says: because every generation is wrong about the next.

Well, either that, or our Paleolithic ancestors out in the environment of evolutionary adaptedness were really something, and it's just gotten worse ever since over the last 200,000 years. (I bet our Paleolithic ancestors didn't put their kids in closets.)