Putting 6yo in Closet at Bedtime--Too Much?
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Anonymous
| Here's a rule of thumb OP: would you be embarrassed if your neighbors or church found out you were doing this to your child? Yes? Then stop. |
Anonymous
OP here. I worry it's also very harsh. Some practical advice would be helpful. What would you do if your child worked himself up so much that he was crying and unable to listen to reason? This is the only thing that brings him back to earth, except of course, giving him what he wants. (We have a terrible track record of him incrementalizing and walking all over us, when do give in.) Rewards or taking things away work because he is so worked up. Think of a kid who wants a toy, nags mom, nags more, then finally throws a full-blown tantrum. Mom finally gives in, but the kid is so worked up he can't hear and keeps going. That's my kid at bedtime. |
Anonymous
Completely agree. I can't believe a parent would do this to a child. |
Anonymous
| ^^ then I would probably just let him cry it out |
Anonymous
Whoa, I must be so out of touch because I would not be embarassed. |
Anonymous
|
If it only happens 5 percent of the time, hug him and help him calm down! He isn't trying to be a jerk. He may be having a bad day or is tired or hungry or whatever. You have to give him tools to help him calm himself down, not punish him by forcing him alone into a dark closet.
My son has ADHD and gets really worked up, both happy and upset at times, and we have some sensory toys that help him. But what works the best is to get him to take deep breaths in through his nose and out through his mouth - like smelling a flower and blowing out a birthday candle. We practice all the time so that when he is worked up and I need him to get back to calm, he can take the breaths and then listen to reason. |
Anonymous
| Op, Cathy Bates in misery has nothing on you. You are the reason not everyone should be allowed to have children. |
Anonymous
|
My dad did this to me. We did not have a good relationship.
What time is bedtime, op? Maybe you need to start 20 minutes earlier. Make a schedule and write it down for him. |
Anonymous
| "No more wire hangers!!!!" |
Anonymous
|
Oh my God. You remind me of the deranged, malicious aunt who used to lock Jane Eyre in the scary room as a punishment, just because she knew it would terrify her.
You are a horrible person, OP. You probably have a whole other slew of psychological issues, and I hope you are seeing a therapist. God help your kid. |
Anonymous
| You are doing real damage to your child. You say he settles down the way you want 95% of the time. Applying tactics you describe in order to achieve 100% compliance is ridiculous. You are showing a serious parental flaw by applying your closet punishment. Really bad. |
Anonymous
I Back in the day there was a debate on MOTH about a mom who admitted she would pinch her child. Generally I have a parenting rule that if I need to hurt my child or make them do something I know they fear (not just dislike) I need a time out or a drink. I suggest a shot of something strong then back up to give him the extra kiss/hug. You will regret this one day OP. |
Anonymous
| Take a parenting class so you can understand child development and your responsibilities. Attributing your son's behavior as a power play shows you don't understand your children. |
Anonymous
| I teach six year olds. If one of them told me that they were being locked in a dark closet I would be on the phone the next minute reporting to proper authorities. |
Anonymous
| I don't spank my kids. But spanking would be better. Much better. This is really effed up. |