Is 46 too old to be TTC?

[Anonymous]

Most children with Down Syndrome are born to young mothers.

Only because young women often do not get pre-natal screening for Down's syndrome during pregnancy and then are surprised at birth. Older women commonly do get screening and then the vast majority terminate the pregnancy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, you are right. I believe it is selfish to have your first biological child intentionally at 46. Would I ever say this to her? No. But this is how I really feel.

Why would you judge a mother in her mid-40s to be selfish? Do you feel the same way about older dads?

Frankly, when you come right down to it, I think all pregnancies have some selfish component, especially the artificially assisted ones. Everyone should do the selfless thing and adopt as long as there are children who need good homes. And of course, according to your calculation, no one over 40 should adopt, either. I had an older dad, and never once considered his decision to have children at 55 to be selfish. He was nothing but loving.

[Anonymous]

Having a child regardless of your decision to go about it (adopting, fertilty, etc.) is NOT A SELFISH THING!! It's a personal choice!! Some people are more nutruring than others and have that natural motherly instinct to want to care, love and bring a child into the world. It's a lot of work and major responsibility to have kids, which denies you a lot of things, like sleep, vacations and "me time." How can deciding to get pregnant/wanting to be a mother be SELFISH? It's exactly the opposite!!! It's definitely a selfless thing to do!!

I'm a single mother by choice. I've always wanted to be a mother but have had bad luck with men so I made a pact that if I was still single by the age of 36 that I would go it solo. I'm now the mother of a beautiful 2 year old daughter. She was meant to be and will always now that she was wanted and loved right from the start. She was no one night stand and defintley not born to parents in a bad marriage like I was. My choice was definitely not made out of selfishness but total love and compassion. Sure it's hard work being a single mother, I have no "me time" whatsoever and my money is limited but taking care of my little girl and giving her all the love and attention is my main priority as she means the world to me.

I'm also proud to annouce that I'm currently pregnant with boy/girl twins.

[Anonymous]

Frankly, when you come right down to it, I think all pregnancies have some selfish component, especially the artificially assisted ones.

This is such an obnoxious thing to say, especially on a forum for those who are TTC, many with assistance.
We ALL bear equal responsibility for adopting the unwanted children of the world---not just those who were dealt a crappy hand of cards when it comes to reproductive ability. If you want to play the "selfish" game and grade how selfish a person is, how about calling those who have more than one biologic child selfish? or the mothers who are in crappy relationships? Or those who are un or underemployed and knowingly plan pregnancies?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: Most children with Down Syndrome are born to young mothers.

This is misleading and would probably unnecessarily scare someone newly pregnant for the first time. It is true, but only because the majority of babies are born to young mothers, not because a person is more likely to have a baby with Down's Syndrome because they are younger.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: Most children with Down Syndrome are born to young mothers.

This is misleading and would probably unnecessarily scare someone newly pregnant for the first time. It is true, but only because the majority of babies are born to young mothers, not because a person is more likely to have a baby with Down's Syndrome because they are younger.

Are you kidding? It's more common in moms 35 years or older. It's more common for younger moms to have low birth weight babies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: Most children with Down Syndrome are born to young mothers.

This is misleading and would probably unnecessarily scare someone newly pregnant for the first time. It is true, but only because the majority of babies are born to young mothers, not because a person is more likely to have a baby with Down's Syndrome because they are younger.

Are you kidding? It's more common in moms 35 years or older. It's more common for younger moms to have low birth weight babies.

PP stated that more Down Syndrome babies are born to younger mothers. This is a correct statement. Older women have more of a chance of having a Down Syndrome baby than a younger woman, yes, but there are a lot more babies born to younger women. Hence the higher figure. I was just saying that her statement was misleading for that reason. But it is true.

[Anonymous]

Intentional single motherhood is ten times more selfish than attempting to conceive your first child at the age of 46. Older men who mke this decision are no less selfish, especially the Larry Kings, James Browns, and others who do it in their 60s or even 70s!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Intentional single motherhood is ten times more selfish than attempting to conceive your first child at the age of 46. Older men who mke this decision are no less selfish, especially the Larry Kings, James Browns, and others who do it in their 60s or even 70s!

Critical people suck, you have never walked in these women's shoes or you are obviously jealous!!! Get a life you troll!!!

[Anonymous]

I'm the single mother who decided to go it solo and you have some nerve telling me I am selfish!! It's a very selfless thing to do!!! Think about it!!! My daughter is very lucky and special. I have several single mother friends who have adopted or have a child on thier own and thier kids are very happy and well adjusted. just as mine is. Motherhood is a wonderful thing regardless of how you go about it. I'm a very strong and nurturing gall who loves kids. It's so wrong to pass judgement unless you have walked in my shoes or know the slightest thing about me!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Intentional single motherhood is ten times more selfish than attempting to conceive your first child at the age of 46. Older men who mke this decision are no less selfish, especially the Larry Kings, James Browns, and others who do it in their 60s or even 70s!

Wow. I'm a single mom by choice who adopted a child who was in a desparate situation. I had a lot of love to give, and I pour all my heart and soul into my child every day. We're very happy. I gave up a pretty interesting life to do this, but I don't miss it (well, maybe I miss the sleep, but...). I don't need a medal, but to call me selfish...? Gosh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you are right. I believe it is selfish to have your first biological child intentionally at 46. Would I ever say this to her? No. But this is how I really feel.

Why would you judge a mother in her mid-40s to be selfish? Do you feel the same way about older dads?

Frankly, when you come right down to it, I think all pregnancies have some selfish component, especially the artificially assisted ones. Everyone should do the selfless thing and adopt as long as there are children who need good homes. And of course, according to your calculation, no one over 40 should adopt, either. I had an older dad, and never once considered his decision to have children at 55 to be selfish. He was nothing but loving.

You are right, and I apologize for the selfishness comment. I was trying to make a point that any behavior in WANTING a child, at any age, could be characterized by some as being selfish. I merely wanted to make the point that when you decide to have a child, it is because YOU WANT ONE (at least in this day and age). I think when you want something, rather than need it, such choices are made from a "self" perspective, which I think is inherently selfish (not the similarity of the words). Of course, the same can be said of those who get pregnant and decide to terminate. It's all about choices of what we WANT, not need. I did not mean to imply here that anyone on this board is being "selfish" to want a child. Heck, I wouldn't be here if I didn't want one, but perhaps in my self-criticality, and my trying to make up for not being able to get pregnant myself, I have tried to justify my inability to conceive by calling the desire selfish.

[Anonymous]

and p.s. good luck to the 46 y.o., and may her friends be supportive of her.

[Anonymous]

Hi there, I'm also the other SMC who has a 2 yr old daughter and who is pregnant with twins. Apparently this troll or critical person is calling us selfish. Unbelievable eh? If anything it's quite the opposite. I don't know why she chooses to voice her negative opinion. To get us all upset? Oh well... i really should listen to people like her, so I will choose to blow her off. She's probably super jealous and is TTC herself.

[Anonymous]

PP, I am sorry you missed my point. Good luck to you with the new arrivals. As for nasty and negative, I think you just went there, not me.