DH has a bank account I didn't know about

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not bad with money. I have under 5k in debt. I'm responsible. I work hard. Not sure where that came from.

With a HHI of $220k if you have $5k in credit card debt then you are in fact bad with money. Instead of getting offended, why don't you ask him to teach you how to do it also. He's probably investing the same amount that you are paying in monthly credit card payments

She's spending it on childcare, camps and clothes. He can teach her to not take care of the kids, perhaps?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not bad with money. I have under 5k in debt. I'm responsible. I work hard. Not sure where that came from.

With a HHI of $220k if you have $5k in credit card debt then you are in fact bad with money. Instead of getting offended, why don't you ask him to teach you how to do it also. He's probably investing the same amount that you are paying in monthly credit card payments

She's spending it on childcare, camps and clothes. He can teach her to not take care of the kids, perhaps?

Cash?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not bad with money. I have under 5k in debt. I'm responsible. I work hard. Not sure where that came from.

With a HHI of $220k if you have $5k in credit card debt then you are in fact bad with money. Instead of getting offended, why don't you ask him to teach you how to do it also. He's probably investing the same amount that you are paying in monthly credit card payments

She's spending it on childcare, camps and clothes. He can teach her to not take care of the kids, perhaps?

We do that in our house too. We don't have one cent of credit card debt and our income is less than OPs. Nice try though

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is the money from an inheritance? His parents? Stock windfall from a former employer? What's your hhi?

Not an inheritance. Together we make about 220 K.

You can't figure out how to quit using a credit card with a HHI 0f $220k? Then you state you aren't bad with money. Do you see any problem here?

Yea, the problem is her dh is skimming money every month to play with stocks, leaving op to figure out how to feed, clothe and care for the kids. That's a problem for sure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Smart move in his part, unfortunately you found out so he could have been better hiding it. I'd hide it too, especially if he had it before you were married. He sounds like a smart investor and he probably is very good had analyzing stats and odds. I'm sure he knows that most marriages end in divorce and that his financial assets are at stake. Statistics show men take the financial hit in divorce and I'm sure he's hedging his his bets on the most likely outcome. Let's be honest, a prenup is probably out of the question for you so he took this route. Was it the best route? Probably not, he wasn't honest. But would you have gotten married if he insisted on a prenuptial agreement?

Not OP but it's not really that smart for the reason you suggest since it would easily be discoverable during divorce proceedings and subject to distribution.

Which is why it's unfortunate it was discovered. He should have hid it better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not bad with money. I have under 5k in debt. I'm responsible. I work hard. Not sure where that came from.

With a HHI of $220k if you have $5k in credit card debt then you are in fact bad with money. Instead of getting offended, why don't you ask him to teach you how to do it also. He's probably investing the same amount that you are paying in monthly credit card payments

She's spending it on childcare, camps and clothes. He can teach her to not take care of the kids, perhaps?

We do that in our house too. We don't have one cent of credit card debt and our income is less than OPs. Nice try though

Do you also have $300k squirreled away outside of retirement and college savings? You think that may have been making a difference in their monthly budget?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Smart move in his part, unfortunately you found out so he could have been better hiding it. I'd hide it too, especially if he had it before you were married. He sounds like a smart investor and he probably is very good had analyzing stats and odds. I'm sure he knows that most marriages end in divorce and that his financial assets are at stake. Statistics show men take the financial hit in divorce and I'm sure he's hedging his his bets on the most likely outcome. Let's be honest, a prenup is probably out of the question for you so he took this route. Was it the best route? Probably not, he wasn't honest. But would you have gotten married if he insisted on a prenuptial agreement?

Not OP but it's not really that smart for the reason you suggest since it would easily be discoverable during divorce proceedings and subject to distribution.

Which is why it's unfortunate it was discovered. He should have hid it better.

It's pretty hard to hide something like that if it's income generating because it will show up on the tax returns. The only way to do it would be to have the account in someone else's name.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Smart move in his part, unfortunately you found out so he could have been better hiding it. I'd hide it too, especially if he had it before you were married. He sounds like a smart investor and he probably is very good had analyzing stats and odds. I'm sure he knows that most marriages end in divorce and that his financial assets are at stake. Statistics show men take the financial hit in divorce and I'm sure he's hedging his his bets on the most likely outcome. Let's be honest, a prenup is probably out of the question for you so he took this route. Was it the best route? Probably not, he wasn't honest. But would you have gotten married if he insisted on a prenuptial agreement?

Not OP but it's not really that smart for the reason you suggest since it would easily be discoverable during divorce proceedings and subject to distribution.

Which is why it's unfortunate it was discovered. He should have hid it better.

You're an idiot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is the money from an inheritance? His parents? Stock windfall from a former employer? What's your hhi?

Not an inheritance. Together we make about 220 K.

You can't figure out how to quit using a credit card with a HHI 0f $220k? Then you state you aren't bad with money. Do you see any problem here?

Yea, the problem is her dh is skimming money every month to play with stocks, leaving op to figure out how to feed, clothe and care for the kids. That's a problem for sure.

I'm sure OP never wastes a penny. Its all DH's fault for saving money. The lack of logic here is amazing. I come here for a laugh every day

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not bad with money. I have under 5k in debt. I'm responsible. I work hard. Not sure where that came from.

With a HHI of $220k if you have $5k in credit card debt then you are in fact bad with money. Instead of getting offended, why don't you ask him to teach you how to do it also. He's probably investing the same amount that you are paying in monthly credit card payments

She's spending it on childcare, camps and clothes. He can teach her to not take care of the kids, perhaps?

We do that in our house too. We don't have one cent of credit card debt and our income is less than OPs. Nice try though

Do you also have $300k squirreled away outside of retirement and college savings? You think that may have been making a difference in their monthly budget?

I bet it also made a difference in their net worth

[Anonymous]

OP, I'm confused: how didn't you see this on your tax returns?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How odd. Women on this site constantly advise other women to have secret bank accounts.

Maybe he's prepping!

+1 He's getting ready to dump you.

NP. He must've been getting ready for years in that case, yet they are still married. Nobody saves 300K in a couple of years on that salary. OP, did he maybe think you knew about it? If he was in charge of finances in your marriage, or he think he mentioned it but forgot?

[Anonymous]

If he was getting a safety net for himself because he wants to divorce, why would he mention it? OP clearly states, he mentioned it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I'm confused: how didn't you see this on your tax returns?

Not OP, but if he never sold any stocks all that might show up on a tax return would be some dividends and gains. I'm guessing he reinvests those, so again, it's not a ton of "profit" right now that would show up on the tax returns. If it's not that much money each year, it's fairly easy to overlook on a tax return, esp. if you also have bank accounts with some interest.

[Anonymous]

Why can't she pay off her own credit card debt if she's working. As the DH of someone who has more than taken advantage of me during our marriage, I would love to have $300K squirreled away as mad money for the inevitable divorce. Women are told ad infinatum to hide and save because you "never know." Well, what's good for the goose is good for the gander. Suck it up cupcakes!