Major family upheavel over religion....don't know what to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm feeling bad for any yet-to-born Jewish grandchildren who will have anti-Semitic grandparents.

I agree with everyone above. Just stay out of it. It's up to your brother and his fiancé as to how they will accommodate any religious differences.

What do you call Jewish grandparents who don't want their grandchildren being raised Christian?

I know right? I have no idea how wanting to continue your religious traditions in your family suddenly makes you anti Semitic. Every single Jewish I've ever met has felt very strongly about this. Their faith is no more an attack on Christianity, than is OPs family wanting to maintain their religious traditions for the next generation.

It's more than that. The parents refuse to even meet the woman. I can understand if they're disappointed that their son is marrying outside the faith, but that doesn't mean they have to treat her like a pariah.

[Anonymous]

I'm Jewish and My husband comes from a very conservative Christian family. They were so welcoming and delighted to meet me with open arms, wether I converted or not. They actually thought it was very cool that I was Jewish. This is how it should be OP- not only were you out of line to ask her to consider converting, but your family just seems awful!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm feeling bad for any yet-to-born Jewish grandchildren who will have anti-Semitic grandparents.

I agree with everyone above. Just stay out of it. It's up to your brother and his fiancé as to how they will accommodate any religious differences.

What do you call Jewish grandparents who don't want their grandchildren being raised Christian?

I know right? I have no idea how wanting to continue your religious traditions in your family suddenly makes you anti Semitic. Every single Jewish I've ever met has felt very strongly about this. Their faith is no more an attack on Christianity, than is OPs family wanting to maintain their religious traditions for the next generation.

It's more than that. The parents refuse to even meet the woman. I can understand if they're disappointed that their son is marrying outside the faith, but that doesn't mean they have to treat her like a pariah.

There are many Jewish parents who would react the same way to a child marrying out of the faith. Op's parents are out of line, but that doesn't make them anti-Semitic, just like Jewish parents in the opposite scenario would not be anti-Christian.

[Anonymous]

Religion. OMG.

Do you need to remind your family that Jesus was Jewish?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm feeling bad for any yet-to-born Jewish grandchildren who will have anti-Semitic grandparents.

I agree with everyone above. Just stay out of it. It's up to your brother and his fiancé as to how they will accommodate any religious differences.

What do you call Jewish grandparents who don't want their grandchildren being raised Christian?

I know right? I have no idea how wanting to continue your religious traditions in your family suddenly makes you anti Semitic. Every single Jewish I've ever met has felt very strongly about this. Their faith is no more an attack on Christianity, than is OPs family wanting to maintain their religious traditions for the next generation.

It's more than that. The parents refuse to even meet the woman. I can understand if they're disappointed that their son is marrying outside the faith, but that doesn't mean they have to treat her like a pariah.

Exactly. Be furious. Cry what they are losing. Whatever they feel. In private. But don't treat another human being like crap.

[Anonymous]

How is it that none of your family knew this woman before they were engaged?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm feeling bad for any yet-to-born Jewish grandchildren who will have anti-Semitic grandparents.

I agree with everyone above. Just stay out of it. It's up to your brother and his fiancé as to how they will accommodate any religious differences.

What do you call Jewish grandparents who don't want their grandchildren being raised Christian?

I know right? I have no idea how wanting to continue your religious traditions in your family suddenly makes you anti Semitic. Every single Jewish I've ever met has felt very strongly about this. Their faith is no more an attack on Christianity, than is OPs family wanting to maintain their religious traditions for the next generation.

EXACTLY

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm Jewish and My husband comes from a very conservative Christian family. They were so welcoming and delighted to meet me with open arms, wether I converted or not. They actually thought it was very cool that I was Jewish. This is how it should be OP- not only were you out of line to ask her to consider converting, but your family just seems awful!!

I call bullshit. Jewish families do this ALL THE TIME. Is THAT OK? Come on, this is a matter of a family wanting to protect and honor their lineage/legacy. My best friend (Jewish) says the same thing of most Jewish parents wanting that very same thing. I know many cases where Jewish parents pressure the non Jew DIL to convert (and often they do). Is that OK? This is hypocritical it isn't even funny. I get it and think there is nothing wrong with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:WTF is wrong with you? You don't get to discuss her converting. Mind your own damn business. Your brother is totally within his rights to cut you all off.

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:WTF is wrong with you? You don't get to discuss her converting. Mind your own damn business. Your brother is totally within his rights to cut you all off.

This. It's totally inappropriate for you to interfere like this. Be supportive of your brother. Do not engage your parents on this issue. If they are smart they will come around.


You do nothing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm Jewish and My husband comes from a very conservative Christian family. They were so welcoming and delighted to meet me with open arms, wether I converted or not. They actually thought it was very cool that I was Jewish. This is how it should be OP- not only were you out of line to ask her to consider converting, but your family just seems awful!!

I call bullshit. Jewish families do this ALL THE TIME. Is THAT OK? Come on, this is a matter of a family wanting to protect and honor their lineage/legacy. My best friend (Jewish) says the same thing of most Jewish parents wanting that very same thing. I know many cases where Jewish parents pressure the non Jew DIL to convert (and often they do). Is that OK? This is hypocritical it isn't even funny. I get it and think there is nothing wrong with it.

+1. This is INCREDIBLY COMMON in Jewish families. My ex-boyfriend's family forced our breakup (he's Jewish, I'm not) by threatening to withhold funds that he needed for a life-threatening medical emergency. It was "we'll either help with your medical needs and you break up with her because she isn't Jewish or we cut you off, end your medical treatment, and you risk death, but you get to be with the non-Jewish girl." For his family, converting wasn't even good enough. To this day, I am still disgusted by what his family did, how they treated him, how they treated me, and and the the overall situation they put him in. Nobody should have to make that decision and no parent should put their child in that type of situation. But Jewish families quite often do threaten to cut their children off, and worse, if they marry outside the tribe. It's not okay when they do it and it certainly isn't okay right now as OP's family is doing it.

[Anonymous]

I married a Jewish man. His family and community shunned not only me but my daughter, as well. We ended up divorcing and he married a devout Jewish woman. Much better all around except for my daughter, who was definitely the unwanted stepchild when she visited their home.

[Anonymous]

Tell parents to take it or leave it, but they don't get to go to wedding AND bitch too. He is 35 F' ing yrs old, old enough to not their permission by 18 YEARS. So they don't want to go? Fine, don't go. Their loss. Do NOT analyze what happens after that. Do the right thing, go that far, and do not even worry about how it all works after that point. Trust in your brother's choice, support him, and be done with the discussion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I married a Jewish man. His family and community shunned not only me but my daughter, as well. We ended up divorcing and he married a devout Jewish woman. Much better all around except for my daughter, who was definitely the unwanted stepchild when she visited their home.

Okay, and this helps how?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I married a Jewish man. His family and community shunned not only me but my daughter, as well. We ended up divorcing and he married a devout Jewish woman. Much better all around except for my daughter, who was definitely the unwanted stepchild when she visited their home.

Okay, and this helps how?

It's a real life story of how religious hatred can ruin lives.