Major family upheavel over religion....don't know what to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:WTF is wrong with you? You don't get to discuss her converting. Mind your own damn business. Your brother is totally within his rights to cut you all off.

+1

Appalled that was even discussed.

[Anonymous]

Why would anyone want to convert to Christianity after seeing the way your family is acting?

I'm Catholic, but I think you and your family are pretty terrible. I can't believe you think an appropriate response to your parents' temper tantrum is to try to get a woman you have met once to convert to your religion. You need to do some serious self-reflection. You can't make your parents be good people, but you can decide to be one yourself. That means having your brother's back.

[Anonymous]

If your 35 year old brother doesn't marry this girl, he may never marry anyone. I have a 50 year old single brother who didn't marry the love of his life in his 40s because my mother didn't like her and she finally got tired of waiting. Don't let this happen to your brother.

[Anonymous]

I don't understand this, OP. Why exactly would your parents not want to welcome into the family someone who isn't for their religion? Are they afraid the children will go to hell or something? What is the obstacle here?

And out of curiosity (which you don't need to satisfy), are they racist as well? Would they have had a fit with an Asian, Black, Arab, whatever background?

[Anonymous]

I don't think it's an anti Semitic thing--- I've seen this across the board with people who are hardcore into religion. I think Judaism gets throw into the mix quite a bit Bc it is viewed as threatening to Christians for whatever stupid reason. by the same token, I've had several female friends basically held hostage to convert to Judaism to appease il's.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If your 35 year old brother doesn't marry this girl, he may never marry anyone. I have a 50 year old single brother who didn't marry the love of his life in his 40s because my mother didn't like her and she finally got tired of waiting. Don't let this happen to your brother.

+1,000,000

OP, if you insist on staying this involved, please use your energy to convince your brother to grow up and run his own life.

[Anonymous]

What about the girl's parents? They will be upset (perhaps devastated) if their daughter abandons Judaism. They're already such a minority.

A friend of mine (devout Catholic) fell in love with a Jewish guy, and she was torn as to whether to convert. She talked it over with her aunt - a NUN - and the nun encouraged her to convert to Judaism. Hard to believe, I know. But her aunt said she wanted her niece to have a happy marriage, and it was better if both were the same religion. She converted, and they are Orthodox Jews - sending all six (!) of their kids to Jewish day schools. Just saying.

[Anonymous]

I see jewish nieces and nephews in your future OP.

I understand this is out of your family's comfort zone but think of your brothers future happiness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm feeling bad for any yet-to-born Jewish grandchildren who will have anti-Semitic grandparents.

I agree with everyone above. Just stay out of it. It's up to your brother and his fiancé as to how they will accommodate any religious differences.

Who said they were anti-Semitic? They are probably anti-Protestant and would be upset with any marriage to a Catholic, Hindu, Buddhist or Muslim spouse. There might also be prejudice against other Protestant denominations beside their own, too.

Not that poster, but they won't even talk to the woman. Won't even treat her as a human being. There's something off there. At best they are extremely immature and insecure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Kids will be Jewish. Most Jewish women will not convert.

Not true. My cousin married a Jewish girl, she did not convert. BUT they agreed to raise their kid Catholic and kid was baptized Catholic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your parents are not acting very Christian, are they? How can they get upset over this interfaith marriage if they can't abide by the basic precepts of Christianity in the first place? Really? They aren't going to meet a woman because she's Jewish? Do they snub other Jewish people, too?

They need to learn to manage their anger and their fear better. They need to focus on that unconditional love of their son that they are supposed to have.

Absolutely do not push talk of converting. There should be no compulsion in religion. That is such an intimate, personal choice.

X1000 to all the above. Myob regarding her religion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think it's an anti Semitic thing--- I've seen this across the board with people who are hardcore into religion. I think Judaism gets throw into the mix quite a bit Bc it is viewed as threatening to Christians for whatever stupid reason. by the same token, I've had several female friends basically held hostage to convert to Judaism to appease il's.

No mainline protestant religion says to be jerks to your child for marrying outside of the faith.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm feeling bad for any yet-to-born Jewish grandchildren who will have anti-Semitic grandparents.

I agree with everyone above. Just stay out of it. It's up to your brother and his fiancé as to how they will accommodate any religious differences.

What do you call Jewish grandparents who don't want their grandchildren being raised Christian?

I know right? I have no idea how wanting to continue your religious traditions in your family suddenly makes you anti Semitic. Every single Jewish I've ever met has felt very strongly about this. Their faith is no more an attack on Christianity, than is OPs family wanting to maintain their religious traditions for the next generation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you trying to intervene and convince her to convert is a bad idea. Your parents are in the wrong here, clearly, and trying to get the fiancée to meet them halfway 1. makes you complicit in the bs your parents are pulling and 2. could very well put you at odds with your brother and this woman.

It's not 1750 any more, and no one should be dragged into conversion to please the small minded.

Where we live (heavily Jewish) I hear often about a Jewish son marrying a non Jew and the wife being pressured to convert, hear it often in fact. This is really no different. IT happens. Different religion, same bullshit.

Ivanka.

[Anonymous]

Tell your parents to read 1 cor 7:12


12 To the rest I say (I, not the Lord) that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her. 13 If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him. 14 For the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.

Paul seems to think it's okay, should be good enough for your parents.