Small vent

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think OP came here to vent about being confronted by a teacher at a social event about the teacher having had a "bad" week with her child.

And I think OP is fully justified that the teacher should not have approached her that way. Whether OP is so much in denial that she believes the moon launch never happened or not, a teacher should not approach you at a carnival to rant at you about your child's behavior. It's unprofessional and inappropriate.

OP, this is generally a kind forum but people will scold and school you about anything. Sorry about that.

I'm confused about how exactly you all would have liked for the teacher to approach her. It doesn't sound like the teacher was ranting at all.

And OP, it sounds like you are doing this already, but you really need to consider alternative programs for your child. It's not your fault at all if he has some special needs that need to be accounted for. However, children who behave like your child are extremely disruptive to the other children. The sooner you can address it the better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think OP came here to vent about being confronted by a teacher at a social event about the teacher having had a "bad" week with her child.

And I think OP is fully justified that the teacher should not have approached her that way. Whether OP is so much in denial that she believes the moon launch never happened or not, a teacher should not approach you at a carnival to rant at you about your child's behavior. It's unprofessional and inappropriate.

OP, this is generally a kind forum but people will scold and school you about anything. Sorry about that.

I'm confused about how exactly you all would have liked for the teacher to approach her. It doesn't sound like the teacher was ranting at all.

Here's what OP said. Sounds like you want to be confused:

Today we got an earful from his preschool teacher about what a challenge he is, how this week was better but last week was bad, this kind of behavior really won't fly in kindergarten, etc... She wasn't saying anything we don't know, but she also was telling us all of this during a festival - not as part of a parent teacher meeting, some direct communication about a challenge, a conversation about working with our son productively (or just problem solving). I just would have hoped that the school would be in touch with us more consistently about working with him (or not being able to handle it if that's the case), or about how they perceive his behavior and what they recommend- given that they are the professionals.

And OP, it sounds like you are doing this already, but you really need to consider alternative programs for your child. It's not your fault at all if he has some special needs that need to be accounted for. However, children who behave like your child are extremely disruptive to the other children. The sooner you can address it the better.

Gee, thanks for the news flash! I'm sure OP never considered that!

[Anonymous]

Teachers who fail to communicate properly are a red flag for a bad environment. OP needs to investigate and set up parameters for better communication.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op, what's missing in your post is understanding about what's happening at school. School finds him to be a serious problem it sounds like. That's what you stated. The issue really is that no kindergarten is putting up with this without an iep and it doesn't matter how brilliant and healthy and non Special needs your kid is if he can't function in a small preschool environment. You do need a game plan so it's best for everyone that you're thinking about it. I doubt your son will qualify for an iep and I doubt you'd really want him to. That's what I get from you. So you need to figure out other options. It's late in the game to have severe behavior issues.

For heaven's sake. OP said that she is pursuing further evaluation and testing, will be investigating additional supports and programs and that she's taking all of this advice. She didn't say her son was brilliant, she isn't saying he doesn't need help, and she has already sought some professional help. It also doesn't sound like the school was giving advice - just complaining, and that is not professional or helpful. I think OP was right to be bothered by that and that people here need to lay off already.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think OP came here to vent about being confronted by a teacher at a social event about the teacher having had a "bad" week with her child.

And I think OP is fully justified that the teacher should not have approached her that way. Whether OP is so much in denial that she believes the moon launch never happened or not, a teacher should not approach you at a carnival to rant at you about your child's behavior. It's unprofessional and inappropriate.

OP, this is generally a kind forum but people will scold and school you about anything. Sorry about that.

I'm confused about how exactly you all would have liked for the teacher to approach her. It doesn't sound like the teacher was ranting at all.

Here's what OP said. Sounds like you want to be confused:

Today we got an earful from his preschool teacher about what a challenge he is, how this week was better but last week was bad, this kind of behavior really won't fly in kindergarten, etc... She wasn't saying anything we don't know, but she also was telling us all of this during a festival - not as part of a parent teacher meeting, some direct communication about a challenge, a conversation about working with our son productively (or just problem solving). I just would have hoped that the school would be in touch with us more consistently about working with him (or not being able to handle it if that's the case), or about how they perceive his behavior and what they recommend- given that they are the professionals.

And OP, it sounds like you are doing this already, but you really need to consider alternative programs for your child. It's not your fault at all if he has some special needs that need to be accounted for. However, children who behave like your child are extremely disruptive to the other children. The sooner you can address it the better.

Gee, thanks for the news flash! I'm sure OP never considered that!

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, what's missing in your post is understanding about what's happening at school. School finds him to be a serious problem it sounds like. That's what you stated. The issue really is that no kindergarten is putting up with this without an iep and it doesn't matter how brilliant and healthy and non Special needs your kid is if he can't function in a small preschool environment. You do need a game plan so it's best for everyone that you're thinking about it. I doubt your son will qualify for an iep and I doubt you'd really want him to. That's what I get from you. So you need to figure out other options. It's late in the game to have severe behavior issues.

For heaven's sake. OP said that she is pursuing further evaluation and testing, will be investigating additional supports and programs and that she's taking all of this advice. She didn't say her son was brilliant, she isn't saying he doesn't need help, and she has already sought some professional help. It also doesn't sound like the school was giving advice - just complaining, and that is not professional or helpful. I think OP was right to be bothered by that and that people here need to lay off already.

OP said that she will contact Child Find. But OP clearly does not think her son actually has special needs. She said her son was smart, healthy, happy, and that she is very lucky. She said she used the term ODD flippantly. So what, exactly, kind of supports do you think child is going to get here from Child Find? I have no idea what OP could possibly do about school. But I would not be willing to chance K with a child whose preschool is complaining about him at school festivals and telling the parent that its not going to fly in K - especially when that child is 5.5. Not 3. 5.5. OP needs to see if her kid has anxiety, ADHD, etc., instead of stating that those things have been considered and there are no signs. These things are evolving.

[Anonymous]

OP of this thread here with an update.

My son is thriving in public kindergarten - in all ways.

He has required no special services, no interventions, is not presenting behavioral challenges at school, and is loving the academic setting. To the teachers and staff of his school he has presented as a very typical boy who needed to learn things like keeping his hands to himself, following directions, respecting classroom materials, etc... All of which he has done, as well as any other child in his class and better than many.

I attribute his success mostly to growing up. And also to to our determination to parent well, some professional advice last Spring (the gist of which was - we have no significant concerns, let him grow up a bit and we'll see how things go), and getting him in a setting with far better trained adults.

Is he perfect? Of course not. Am we perfect in parenting him? Of course not. We're all on a learning curve. But I can say with much more confidence now that I stand by my initial characterization of things in the original post.

I got of help from this forum over the last couple of years. Some of it was scary or sobering, some of it tremendously helpful and supportive, and all of it was valued. I just wanted to update this so that anyone who is facing similar challenges can see that this kind of best case scenario outcome is possible too.

So to anyone out there for whom our story rings true I just wanted to say hang in there. Have faith in your ability to parent (including pursuing whatever your child needs) and trust your instincts. If you genuinely think your kid is inherently ok, you might be right.

[Anonymous]

Ack - typos.

Are we perfect...

I got A LOT of help...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP of this thread here with an update.

My son is thriving in public kindergarten - in all ways.

He has required no special services, no interventions, is not presenting behavioral challenges at school, and is loving the academic setting. To the teachers and staff of his school he has presented as a very typical boy who needed to learn things like keeping his hands to himself, following directions, respecting classroom materials, etc... All of which he has done, as well as any other child in his class and better than many.

I attribute his success mostly to growing up. And also to to our determination to parent well, some professional advice last Spring (the gist of which was - we have no significant concerns, let him grow up a bit and we'll see how things go), and getting him in a setting with far better trained adults.

Is he perfect? Of course not. Am we perfect in parenting him? Of course not. We're all on a learning curve. But I can say with much more confidence now that I stand by my initial characterization of things in the original post.

I got of help from this forum over the last couple of years. Some of it was scary or sobering, some of it tremendously helpful and supportive, and all of it was valued. I just wanted to update this so that anyone who is facing similar challenges can see that this kind of best case scenario outcome is possible too.

So to anyone out there for whom our story rings true I just wanted to say hang in there. Have faith in your ability to parent (including pursuing whatever your child needs) and trust your instincts. If you genuinely think your kid is inherently ok, you might be right.

OP, this is condescending and self-congratulatory. Many of us have kids with serious issues and they are not struggling because of our lack of determination to parent well or our failure to seek guidance. Stop being a voyeur on this board while gleefuly informing us all that your son required no interventions. Gold star, I guess? Neither did my other two kids, nor do the overwhelming majority of kids out there.

And just because some of our kids have serious and life-long struggles doesn't mean that they are not inherently okay. Seriously, get out of here with your superiority complex and your need to tell us all how awesome your special son is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP of this thread here with an update.

My son is thriving in public kindergarten - in all ways.

He has required no special services, no interventions, is not presenting behavioral challenges at school, and is loving the academic setting. To the teachers and staff of his school he has presented as a very typical boy who needed to learn things like keeping his hands to himself, following directions, respecting classroom materials, etc... All of which he has done, as well as any other child in his class and better than many.

I attribute his success mostly to growing up. And also to to our determination to parent well, some professional advice last Spring (the gist of which was - we have no significant concerns, let him grow up a bit and we'll see how things go), and getting him in a setting with far better trained adults.

Is he perfect? Of course not. Am we perfect in parenting him? Of course not. We're all on a learning curve. But I can say with much more confidence now that I stand by my initial characterization of things in the original post.

I got of help from this forum over the last couple of years. Some of it was scary or sobering, some of it tremendously helpful and supportive, and all of it was valued. I just wanted to update this so that anyone who is facing similar challenges can see that this kind of best case scenario outcome is possible too.

So to anyone out there for whom our story rings true I just wanted to say hang in there. Have faith in your ability to parent (including pursuing whatever your child needs) and trust your instincts. If you genuinely think your kid is inherently ok, you might be right.

OP, this is condescending and self-congratulatory. Many of us have kids with serious issues and they are not struggling because of our lack of determination to parent well or our failure to seek guidance. Stop being a voyeur on this board while gleefuly informing us all that your son required no interventions. Gold star, I guess? Neither did my other two kids, nor do the overwhelming majority of kids out there.

And just because some of our kids have serious and life-long struggles doesn't mean that they are not inherently okay. Seriously, get out of here with your superiority complex and your need to tell us all how awesome your special son is.

Did you read the thread?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP of this thread here with an update.

My son is thriving in public kindergarten - in all ways.

He has required no special services, no interventions, is not presenting behavioral challenges at school, and is loving the academic setting. To the teachers and staff of his school he has presented as a very typical boy who needed to learn things like keeping his hands to himself, following directions, respecting classroom materials, etc... All of which he has done, as well as any other child in his class and better than many.

I attribute his success mostly to growing up. And also to to our determination to parent well, some professional advice last Spring (the gist of which was - we have no significant concerns, let him grow up a bit and we'll see how things go), and getting him in a setting with far better trained adults.

Is he perfect? Of course not. Am we perfect in parenting him? Of course not. We're all on a learning curve. But I can say with much more confidence now that I stand by my initial characterization of things in the original post.

I got of help from this forum over the last couple of years. Some of it was scary or sobering, some of it tremendously helpful and supportive, and all of it was valued. I just wanted to update this so that anyone who is facing similar challenges can see that this kind of best case scenario outcome is possible too.

So to anyone out there for whom our story rings true I just wanted to say hang in there. Have faith in your ability to parent (including pursuing whatever your child needs) and trust your instincts. If you genuinely think your kid is inherently ok, you might be right.

OP, this is condescending and self-congratulatory. Many of us have kids with serious issues and they are not struggling because of our lack of determination to parent well or our failure to seek guidance. Stop being a voyeur on this board while gleefuly informing us all that your son required no interventions. Gold star, I guess? Neither did my other two kids, nor do the overwhelming majority of kids out there.

And just because some of our kids have serious and life-long struggles doesn't mean that they are not inherently okay. Seriously, get out of here with your superiority complex and your need to tell us all how awesome your special son is.

Did you read the thread?

Yes, I did. I think OP is an obnoxious PITA.

[Anonymous]

+1 the op is obnoxious.

[Anonymous]

What's the other thread?

[Anonymous]

OP,

New poster here. I am glad to hear that a year later things are going well for your son. Your pre-k experience sounded a lot like mine, although it ended quite differently. DS'teacher would grab me in the hall, at class parties, etc. and say, "just thought you should know xyz" which were essentially complaints to me about DS.
It got to the point where I could not stand to run into her. Midway through the year we got DS evaluated. ADHD. We did therapies, behavior modification and rewards systems, exercise, parent coaching, diet change, and yes, meds. K was worse. Far worse. Made it through the year and got DS evaluated again, by someone else. Confirmed ADHD and added ASD. It's been years, but those times were rough, and I'm glad that we did not wait it out and sought experts beyond our ped. and OT.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP,

New poster here. I am glad to hear that a year later things are going well for your son. Your pre-k experience sounded a lot like mine, although it ended quite differently. DS'teacher would grab me in the hall, at class parties, etc. and say, "just thought you should know xyz" which were essentially complaints to me about DS.
It got to the point where I could not stand to run into her. Midway through the year we got DS evaluated. ADHD. We did therapies, behavior modification and rewards systems, exercise, parent coaching, diet change, and yes, meds. K was worse. Far worse. Made it through the year and got DS evaluated again, by someone else. Confirmed ADHD and added ASD. It's been years, but those times were rough, and I'm glad that we did not wait it out and sought experts beyond our ped. and OT.

Glad you made it through pp. THose are hard years indeed.