How do I go back to his place and watch a movie without having sex? Is that possible?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't shave your legs.

Yep. And wear ugly grandma underwear.

And don't wash your vajayjay for 3 days prior. To be sure that will be a deterrent to one or both of you.

that wouldn't deter me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tell him you're on your period if he makes a movem

Most men don't care.

[Anonymous]

I don't think I'd go to his place on second date because what if he's a psycho? How long have you known him?

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't go to his house on a second date.

Plus it's the holiday season, and the last thing I want to do is go to a movie, much less a movie on some stranger's couch.

Why don't you just go out to a great restaurant downtown or out for drinks somewhere fun? Holiday party? The Christmas bar downtown? City Center? A show?

I think it says a lot about you that you actually want to do this - and that you're so worried about it. I'm wondering if maybe you need some more time to build up you self confidence before you start dating?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I never have seen why this is complicated. Do any of you communicate in relationships. "A movie at your house sounds like a nice idea. But I'd hate for you to get the wrong idea. I'm not comfortable going past sexond base this early in a relationship. Of course, we could also get dinner out or go and do Y if you would rather not stay in."

You don't need to beat around the bush. If you are old enough to have sex, you should be mature enough to communicate about it.

People who are old enough to have sex and communicate in relationships should not use terms like "second base" when communicating about sex in those relationships.

That is more message board shorthand and not meant to be a script. But I stand by the contention that adults should be able to discuss their sexual needs, wants and comfort level with their partners. Plus birth control, STDs, etc. And if they can't it's too soon to have sex (or the wrong person, or whatever).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You can joke and say "I'm looking forward to seeing you and watching a movie, but I'm not ready to 'watch a movie' [make exaggerated air quotes], if you know what I mean!" Say it with a smile and he'll get it.

Corny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a pretty open person and would say upfront "I know what Netflix and chill really means, but I really like you and don't want to mess it up by moving too fast." If he's cool and likes you too, he'll get it.

Also, wear something super annoying to unfasten/get off so there's time to stop yourself have fun!

I agree with this except the "stop yourself" part. If you want to have sex, then go ahead and have sex.

This.
- married for 19 years, after having sex on the second date

Agree (also had sex with my DH on our second date)

Married 11 years. But we had sex on the third date.

Hahaha. And how many sex on the 2nd or 3rd date do NOT turn into marriage? What a weak argument to show up at a guys house for a movie. I venture to say that a lot more 2nd and 3rd date back at "his place" turned into date rape rather than marriage. Have some perspective lady.

[Anonymous]

Of course it's possible. Say no if he tries to have sex with you. It's only the second date for pete's sake.

Wear pants - easier to slow things down that way. Or at least tights and a skirt. That way he can take off your top without taking off other stuff. As opposed to a dress where you either have to stay fully clothed or almost naked.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just wouldn't go to his place. Maybe I'm way off but I feel like if I go to a date's place for part of the date, he'll be expecting sex. I'd rather avoid the awkwardness of turning him down, if I'm not into it yet.

There's a huge middle ground between kissing good night at the door and having sex. Lots to do in between.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can joke and say "I'm looking forward to seeing you and watching a movie, but I'm not ready to 'watch a movie' [make exaggerated air quotes], if you know what I mean!" Say it with a smile and he'll get it.

Corny.

True, and stuipid as sh#t. If a woman is too immature to talk about life issues directly without little white lies or games of not shaving or "air quotes", she is not mature enough to put herself in the situation and be expected to handle it properly. It's not a flirtation scenario, it's a scenario with sexual opportunities. They are not the same scenarios.

[Anonymous]

Don't go up to his place if you don't want to have sex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Of course it's possible. Say no if he tries to have sex with you. It's only the second date for pete's sake.

Wear pants - easier to slow things down that way. Or at least tights and a skirt. That way he can take off your top without taking off other stuff. As opposed to a dress where you either have to stay fully clothed or almost naked.

High school gaming. Use your words and learn to express yourselve in adult terms. Especially since she is Already out in the working world!! Stop being coy girls, and be women.

[Anonymous]

Is this what people are expecting now?? Back on the dating scene and I honestly can't imagine having sex with someone before date 7-10! Man I'm screwed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a pretty open person and would say upfront "I know what Netflix and chill really means, but I really like you and don't want to mess it up by moving too fast." If he's cool and likes you too, he'll get it.

Also, wear something super annoying to unfasten/get off so there's time to stop yourself have fun!

I agree with this except the "stop yourself" part. If you want to have sex, then go ahead and have sex.

This.
- married for 19 years, after having sex on the second date

Agree (also had sex with my DH on our second date)

OP is not asking if it's okay to have sex on the second date so calm down.

Op has stated she doesn't want to have sex and is looking or tips.

Did OP say that? Sounds more like OP is interested but worried it's too soon and she won't be able to say "no" in this situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't go to his house on a second date.

Plus it's the holiday season, and the last thing I want to do is go to a movie, much less a movie on some stranger's couch.

Why don't you just go out to a great restaurant downtown or out for drinks somewhere fun? Holiday party? The Christmas bar downtown? City Center? A show?

I think it says a lot about you that you actually want to do this - and that you're so worried about it. I'm wondering if maybe you need some more time to build up you self confidence before you start dating?

I think this analysis says a lot about you. You wouldn't have to worry about a 2nd date. One was enough, thanks.