How do I go back to his place and watch a movie without having sex? Is that possible?

[Anonymous]

Tell him you're on your period if he makes a movem

[Anonymous]

Second date? Not at his place. Too soon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd just be up front about it op.

"Hey I'm really into you but I'm not quite ready to take it to the next step. Mostly BECAUSE of how much I like you. I wouldn't normally lay this all out there but I know what coming over for a movie might imply! Can we just cuddle/make out tonight?"

Any decent guy will be fine with it.

Why does she need to sound apologetic for not being ready to have sex? Why does she need to makeup for it by offering cuddling and making out?

Not being ready is complete on it's own.

I didn't put the word 'sorry' in there. And I didn't write it to sound apologetic, weird that you read that there. But you don't want it to sound like a rejection, more like something you're looking forward to but not tonight. I do see other pps point about making it sound like you're otherwise slutty. So strike the second sentence. Most of it will be in the tone you use to deliver it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd just be up front about it op.

"Hey I'm really into you but I'm not quite ready to take it to the next step. Mostly BECAUSE of how much I like you. I wouldn't normally lay this all out there but I know what coming over for a movie might imply! Can we just cuddle/make out tonight?"

Any decent guy will be fine with it.

Why does she need to sound apologetic for not being ready to have sex? Why does she need to makeup for it by offering cuddling and making out?

Not being ready is complete on it's own.

I didn't put the word 'sorry' in there. And I didn't write it to sound apologetic, weird that you read that there. But you don't want it to sound like a rejection, more like something you're looking forward to but not tonight. I do see other pps point about making it sound like you're otherwise slutty. So strike the second sentence. Most of it will be in the tone you use to deliver it

Oh and op says they've been kissing, it's not offering a consolation prize it's telling him she wants to keep going the direction they've been going

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a pretty open person and would say upfront "I know what Netflix and chill really means, but I really like you and don't want to mess it up by moving too fast." If he's cool and likes you too, he'll get it.

Also, wear something super annoying to unfasten/get off so there's time to stop yourself have fun!

I agree with this except the "stop yourself" part. If you want to have sex, then go ahead and have sex.

This.
- married for 19 years, after having sex on the second date

Agree (also had sex with my DH on our second date)

Married 11 years. But we had sex on the third date.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd just be up front about it op.

"Hey I'm really into you but I'm not quite ready to take it to the next step. Mostly BECAUSE of how much I like you. I wouldn't normally lay this all out there but I know what coming over for a movie might imply! Can we just cuddle/make out tonight?"

Any decent guy will be fine with it.

Sure, but when she finally does say yes to the movie at his place, she better be ready to put out if she explicitly makes "I don't want to put out yet" the reason not to come to his place on date #2.

[Anonymous]

I never have seen why this is complicated. Do any of you communicate in relationships. "A movie at your house sounds like a nice idea. But I'd hate for you to get the wrong idea. I'm not comfortable going past sexond base this early in a relationship. Of course, we could also get dinner out or go and do Y if you would rather not stay in."

You don't need to beat around the bush. If you are old enough to have sex, you should be mature enough to communicate about it.

[Anonymous]

^^ second base. But I guess second works too...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I never have seen why this is complicated. Do any of you communicate in relationships. "A movie at your house sounds like a nice idea. But I'd hate for you to get the wrong idea. I'm not comfortable going past sexond base this early in a relationship. Of course, we could also get dinner out or go and do Y if you would rather not stay in."

You don't need to beat around the bush. If you are old enough to have sex, you should be mature enough to communicate about it.

People who are old enough to have sex and communicate in relationships should not use terms like "second base" when communicating about sex in those relationships.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I never have seen why this is complicated. Do any of you communicate in relationships. "A movie at your house sounds like a nice idea. But I'd hate for you to get the wrong idea. I'm not comfortable going past sexond base this early in a relationship. Of course, we could also get dinner out or go and do Y if you would rather not stay in."

You don't need to beat around the bush. If you are old enough to have sex, you should be mature enough to communicate about it.

People who are old enough to have sex and communicate in relationships should not use terms like "second base" when communicating about sex in those relationships.

+1 I think watching a movie at a guys place is kind of a strange second date. It's too comfortable.

My view is that you shouldn't have dates at a guy's house until you feel like you are comfortable enough communicating about intimacy. I don't think that anyone should expect sex just because someone is coming to their place. But I still think that that's not a good second date venue.

I mean, just go to the movie theater. The parking excuse sounds lame.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd just be up front about it op.

"Hey I'm really into you but I'm not quite ready to take it to the next step. Mostly BECAUSE of how much I like you. I wouldn't normally lay this all out there but I know what coming over for a movie might imply! Can we just cuddle/make out tonight?"

Any decent guy will be fine with it.

Never EVER tell a guy you are making him wait to have sex because he is special. All that communicates is that she is willing to go crazy in bed night one with the bad boys but you, nice guy, don't do much for her sexually but if you jump through enough hoops it might happen, one day. This is a man's worst fear.

Most non-rapist men, i.e. most men will both respect and understand that sex may not happen on a second date and will respect a woman's boundaries.

[Anonymous]

Maybe I'm weird, but I think the mall sounds fun. Also a good way to see how he handles real-life frustrating situations.

[Anonymous]

Take uber to the mall. Parking problem solved.

And wear some nice sexy under garments for after the movie and uber back to his place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a pretty open person and would say upfront "I know what Netflix and chill really means, but I really like you and don't want to mess it up by moving too fast." If he's cool and likes you too, he'll get it.

Also, wear something super annoying to unfasten/get off so there's time to stop yourself have fun!

I agree with this except the "stop yourself" part. If you want to have sex, then go ahead and have sex.

This.
- married for 19 years, after having sex on the second date

Agree (also had sex with my DH on our second date)

OP is not asking if it's okay to have sex on the second date so calm down.

Op has stated she doesn't want to have sex and is looking or tips.

Np. This is not complicated. Here's the tip: don't have sex. communicate that and leave if necessary.

[Anonymous]

So what happened OP? Inquiring minds want to know!